Chords for HOT CHOCOLATE - So You Win Again (1977)

I run a private campground. Winter is - obviously - our slow season and I have to say that it’s nice to not have people around. Seasonal budgeting is a little tricky, but once you get the hang of it you can reasonably predict how much you need to set aside throughout the year. After that you just sit back and enjoy the winter snow, maybe catch up on your Netflix queue, waste time on Reddit, or battle off hell-spawned thorn bushes littered all over the place by an ancient evil from Ireland.
You know, just normal campground manager things.
Anyway, if you’re totally new here, you should really start at the beginning and if you’re totally lost, this might help.
I heard back from the university student that was working on the book left behind by my mother. They got through it a little faster than expected, mostly because they were fascinated by what they found inside. I can’t say I’m surprised. I mean, all of you read these posts, so I’m sure a journal left behind by my ancestor would be just as interesting.
The journal has clearly been read a bit, the student said. Not just when it was written, but by more recent generations as well. They asked about where I found it and I explained it was stored in the attic by my mother.
“Well, it was in pretty good shape until someone spilled something on it. We think it was grape juice.”
So that put into context that early childhood memory where mom freaked out when I spilled grape juice all over the kitchen table.
Anyway, they were able to separate the pages and take photos of the surviving text. For such a disastrous spill, the writing remained legible, albeit blurred and faded. I forwarded the photos they sent me on to my brother. The book remains with the university as it’s probably safer there than at my house. I don’t need it, so long as we have a transcription of the text in our possession.
Then the student asked if I’d be willing to come in and talk about my family’s folklore. The book was full of superstitions and traditions, they said, and they were certain that there’d be some professors interested in the verbal history to go with it. It was unusual to find such a detailed account written out like this.
“My family never really talked about the family folklore,” I lied. “My parents died when I was in college and I wasn’t interested before then.”
The student expressed disappointment, thanked me for the book, and that finished our call.
I’m waiting to hear from my brother if there’s anything that might help with our current situation. In the meantime… I couldn’t keep avoiding Beau forever.
I mentally prepared myself for the confrontation as best as I could. My arguments were ready. The harvesters were unreliable help. They used me as bait and tried to stuff me into a raincoat. If I went to them, they might interpret my current vulnerability as a sign that it was time to recruit again. Perhaps they might even welcome the opportunity to claim the campground for themselves. I don’t know what their motives are. Besides, even if their intentions were honest or if Beau agreed to stand by and keep them from doing anything shady, the remedy was still dangerous. I was human, after all, and liable to simply die from shock if they cut me open to pull the thorns out.
It is in my lungs now. I can feel them when I take a deep breath.
Okay, yes, other people have survived more traumatic surgeries with them, but I’ll take any excuse I can get.
The lady with extra eyes had tried to kill me as well, but there was at least an established pattern that I could trust. She’d befriend our family and remain a helping influence for generations, until some catalyst put her at odds with us. Then we’d kill her, she’d be reborn, and it’d happen all over again. This is what I believe is happening, judging by the bones buried under the tree in her yard. If we were at the beginning of that cycle, then the spiders were far more trustworthy than the harvesters.
I went to Beau as he stood waiting in the yard that morning. His expression was unreadable, but that was hardly anything new. I took a deep breath and launched straight into it.
“The fairy said I should go to the harvesters,” I said. “I’m not going to. They said I have time still and I’m going to try to find a different solution.”
I held my breath, pensively waiting for his response. He merely raised a single eyebrow, the sunlight glinting off the row of hoops decorating it.
“Do as you will,” he finally said dismissively.
“Wait, you’re not going to argue?”
I was astounded.
“That is not my nature. I do not coerce or use deceit. You are mistaking me for a human again, I believe.”
I muttered an apology. I was. Beau is a rather simple creature in how he handles his interactions with people. He offers a drink. If the individual does not accept, he kills them. The choice, as always, remains with the person, and the consequences are theirs to bear as well.
It seemed Beau was thinking much the same thing, for he abruptly turned and started to walk away. Clearly he was no longer interested in teaching me how to better use my knife today. I would have to bear my consequences alone.
“Make your mistakes, campground manager,” he said as he left. “I trust your will to live will eventually overcome your fear.”
Which is a pretty ominous thing to say, so I admit I wasn’t terribly excited to go searching for the spiders after that. However, I am also very stubborn. I get that from my mother and my father. I’m sure that surprises no one. Beau’s warning chilled my enthusiasm, but it also made me a bit angry. This was my body the harvesters would be cutting into. A little consideration would be appreciated. I know that these inhuman things are cruel, but sometimes I just get a little tired of it.
The lady with extra eyes, at least, had her moments when she was kind.
I went off into the woods in a foul mood. I went on foot because I didn’t want the noise of the four-wheeler’s engine to scare off the spiders. My staff have been observing them since the lady’s death and the consensus is that they mostly act like normal spiders. Mostly.
I thought I’d start with finding some thorns left behind by the fomorian. It’s been quiet lately. Perhaps the fairy and the fomorian are avoiding each other, waiting to see what the other one does instead of being the first to strike. The fomorian seems to be content to let the seeds he already littered about keep spreading. Most of the patches I’ve ripped out are growing back. A few didn’t and I can only assume the spiders are to thank for that. Perhaps they webbed the roots I left behind so that they couldn’t grow.
I picked a thorn patch that was near the edge of the old woods. I didn’t want to venture in any further than I had to. For one thing, it’s been stupid cold down there. I don’t know if it’s because it sits in a depression or if I’m just noticing it more because I’m on foot, but this winter is shaping up to be intolerably cold. Even the locals are starting to complain.
But more importantly, I didn’t want to run into the fomorian or his steed. It bothers me that I encountered the fomorian without the dapple-gray stallion. This means that the stallion is going off on its own occasionally. Since it apparently still has a desire to stomp in my skull and eat my flesh, I’m a little uneasy about potentially running into it without its master.
And I don’t want to run into the fomorian because I’m in no mood to hear him gloat about how I’m going to die.
I settled down onto the ground near the thorn bush. The snow melted and soaked into my jeans, which I quickly regretted, but I didn’t anticipate being out here very long. Just enough to talk to the spiders.
“Hey,” I said softly. “It’s me. Kate.”
I peered intently into the bush, straining to see a sign of movement. It would be a bit silly to have a conversation if there weren’t any spiders inside. Of course, you could also argue that it was silly to have a conversation with spiders at all. But this is old land. These are not ordinary spiders.
“I don’t know if the lady reborn hates me,” I continued. “I think I would, if I were her. That assumes she’s been reborn already, that is. I’m assuming that big spider is her. I hope it is.”
I was rambling. I took a deep breath and tried to rein in my uncertainty. This would either work or it wouldn’t and if it didn’t, the only thing I had to lose was a little bit of my time.
“Well, if she doesn’t hate me and is willing to aid my family again… I could use her help. I think I’ve got a shot at helping the land and saving the trees, but I need a bit more time. I need to find a remedy for the thorns, but I can’t do that if I’m dead. And I think… I think I might be dying.”
The morning before I left, I coughed blood into the sink. There were soggy bits in it, black pieces like tiny strips of bark.
“So if you could just relay all that to her, I’d really appreciate it. I’ll come back to the deep woods tomorrow. See if I can find her house.”
Nothing. No sound, no movement from the bush. My spirits sank. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I’d gotten my hopes up that there would be… something. Anything to keep me from having to resort to the harvesters.
I stood up, my joints stiff from the cold. There was frost on the outer layer of my jeans. I brushed it away absently, already thinking ahead to the fireplace back home and maybe a mug of hot chocolate.
Then something grabbed my ankle.
I don’t think there’s any way to train yourself out of being startled. It’s ingrained so deeply into the human instincts that there’s no reasonable way to be rid of it. What can be trained is how we react to unexpected stimuli. A lot of people freeze. I know which of my staff members freeze when startled because I have someone sneak up on them during their first week on the job to see how they react. If they freeze, then they get placed somewhere a little safer.
It’s not hazing if it has a purpose, right?
My parents made sure that I would not freeze.
As the icy grip of something wrapped around my ankle, I reacted on pure instinct. I jerked my foot out of its grasp and jumped, putting distance between myself and whatever had touched me. I glanced down before I landed and saw a hand protruding from the snow, pallid and shriveled, stretching dirty fingers out to claw at the soil in an effort to drag the rest of the arm free.
When I landed, I made sure to drive my heel down onto the hand. I heard the satisfying snap of bone. Then I ran. I did not look back.
The frost. Rule #17. While it can get cold at night, you should not see frost forming inside your tent. If you are woken by the cold and see frost, call the camp emergency number. Stay calm and stay in your tent. We will come get you.
It was all around me.
This cold I’ve been complaining about? It masked the approach of the frost. I could think of no other explanation for how it had come up on me so abruptly.
I ran. The only defense against the frost is to get away from it. I slipped on the icy road and painfully made my way up the steepest hill leading up out of the deep woods. My eyes stung and I felt frost forming on the edges of my lips. How deep in was I? How far had it spread? All around me, hands erupted out of the snow, flailing for purchase, trying to snatch at my legs as I ran past them, a macabre garden sparkling with frost like the morning dew.
I didn’t think I would make it back to the house. Already, I felt like I was slowing down. The cold burned into my lungs and I wheezed for air. I couldn’t sustain this pace. My body simply wasn’t capable of sprinting for such a long distance. Worse, it didn’t seem to be making much difference. Fingers broke out of the snow around me like flowers blooming in early spring and my ears were filled with the popping of ice-coated joints that stretched and strained, trying to drag themselves up out of the frozen earth.
They wouldn’t stop coming.
I reached the top of the hill and veered off the road. There was a chance to survive this, one that was at least better than trying to outrun it. My pace slowed considerably once I hit the snow that hadn’t been partially cleared by our trucks. I stumbled through it, ripping my ankles away from the hands that grasped at the hem of my jeans. I felt like I was clawing for whatever scrap of forward momentum I could gain, fighting the very air itself as it burned into my nose and cheeks.
Before me loomed a mound of debris. With one last burst of effort, I ran the last few yards and then collapsed, chest heaving, onto the side of the thing in the dark.
The cold continued to press in around me. The air itself sparkled with ice. I borrowed my body deeper into the mound of leaves and sticks, desperately seeking the warmth, the safety, of a creature far more powerful than I. More powerful, hopefully, than the frost that tested the distance between us, crackling as it formed a thick layer of ice on top of the snow.
“C’mon,” I hissed through chattering teeth. “Do you really want to mess with the thing in the dark?”
It slowed. Then, mere feet away from where I huddled, it stopped. The hands that had broken through the snow went still and then, slowly, slipped back under and into the earth, leaving behind small mounds of disturbed snow as the only remnant of their presence. The cold, too, began to subside. I remained where I was, shivering violently, wondering when it would be safe to get up and leave.
I soon became aware of something sharp stabbing into my side. In my desperation to find safety I didn’t notice at first. I shifted, lifting myself out of the debris and away from whatever was jabbing me through my jacket. I turned to look, as it hadn’t felt like a stick. It was far sharper. Like a needle.
It was a thorn. My head swam with dread, like I was as light as a feather. There was a thorn inside the body of the thing in the dark.
“I’m sorry,” I said frantically. “I’ll put it all back. But I need to know.”
I pulled away sticks and leaves from the side of the mound. I dug a hole into the thing in the dark until enough had fallen away to pool around my knees that I could see clearly what was inside it.
Vines. Black, twisting vines, their long thorns webbed with spider silk. As I knelt there, staring in horror, a myriad of spiders crept out of the darkness and stared at me with glittering eyes. Slowly, carefully, I put the branches back. I packed them back down. Then I stood and backed away.
“I’ll take care of this,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. I’ll take care of this for you.”
The thing in the dark is less active in the winter. I think it hibernates. I can only hope that was the reason for its silence.
After a while it felt like the air was warmer and my shivering abated somewhat. The frost had hopefully moved on. I left the safety of the thing in the dark’s presence and returned home. I brought some firewood in with me, once again thinking about that fireplace and some hot chocolate.
It wasn’t until I took my jacket off that I realized that my back was covered in spiders.
As usual, I reacted with violence to being startled by something so horrific. I screamed and threw the jacket away from me. It hit the wall and the spiders scattered in all directions like a dandelion in the wind, scurrying across the wall and vanishing into the crannies and crevices along the floor and ceiling. I remained still for a long time, heart pounding, and then I went into the kitchen and poured myself a strong drink. I didn’t go back to pick up the jacket until hours later. It took some effort. Every time I walked towards it I remembered the sight of all those spiders, clutching the fabric, immobile and how their black and brown bodies blended into the fabric. How it took a few seconds as my brain pondered why my jacket seemed fuzzy and then one moved a single leg and the realization came unraveling down.
There were no spiders on or in my jacket when I finally picked it up and put it away. I’m not sure where they’re hiding, but they’re certainly in my house still.
You see, I think they’re coming out at night.
The first night after that happened, I woke at some point feeling like there was something stuck in my throat. I was only half awake though and the feeling quickly passed before I could start coughing, and I quickly drifted back off to sleep. I’m trying to pretend that this is just my overactive imagination. That there aren’t spiders crawling down into my lungs while I’m sleeping.
This has been happening for a few days. In the morning my chest feels heavy. Like the muscles to breathe in and out aren’t responding quite as well as they should. The feeling passes around midday.
I don’t know if I’m getting better. But I know this - it’s not getting worse.
I’m a campground manager. I wish I could be surprised by what’s happened to the thing in the dark. Unfortunately, it makes a terrible sort of sense. The fomorians were conquerors. They were tyrants. They subjugated everything within their grasp, crushing the will to fight out of them or killing the ones that refused to submit. The fomorian’s war with the fairy is only a prelude for what is to come if it wins.
It will conquer my land. It will destroy the creatures that refuse to bow to it and rule over the rest. It will do the same to the town, to the surrounding farmland, and on and on until it can stretch its reach no further. Perhaps the humans living here will take no notice. The inhuman world is separate from our own, for the most part. It is only in places like old land that we are thrown in directly alongside it. Or perhaps we’ll notice in the more subtle ways, in how crops fail more frequently and sickness seems to lie deep in our bones. In a weariness that cannot be abated and a sadness we wear like an old jacket.
I wonder if there are other parts of this world that already suffer under a fomorian’s rule.
The fomorian has poisoned the thing in the dark. It is a creature that is unlikely to submit, so he will destroy it.
At least there’s the spiders. Small, insignificant creatures that the fomorian will easily overlook. They’re fighting as best as they can to slow the decay.
And now they’re trying to save both of us. [x]
Since you've all been asking about the journal.
Read the full list of rules.
Visit the campground's website.

Not sure if this is NSFW because it doesn't go into details, but there's swearing and sexual comments in here.
This requires a lot of background, but the first things you should know are:
- I no longer work in the same place where I was stalked and neither does the stalker
- He is a popular, charming, funny and universally loved researcher and I am a quiet, socially awkward person who was classed as admin staff
- He always either harassed me when we were alone together, out of earshot of others, or in a subtle way so others would assume he was joking. e.g. make nasty comments about my weight in private, then 'joking' in public that of course I would want some chocolate during coffee break.
- He tried to extract information from my husband about where we will go (which country and city, what workplace) so that he can apply at the same place 'and we can all be together' (his own words).
When the harassment began at my workplace, there was no committee or organisation I could go to to file a complaint. In addition, since the stalker was so popular and careful to harass me out of sight of others, I was afraid it would be a case of my word against his and his extroverted, fun-loving nature might win everyone over to his side. In the past I have experienced this. Due to fear of it happening again, I played along in public and was friendly because I was scared of the reaction if I didn't.
He eventually left, but continued to maintain and build new connections at my workplace. Since then a body to which employees could report harassment was established and I reported his past behaviour to hopefully ensure the safety of others if he might return.
Some actions were taken internally, but afaik he continues to be successful, respected and well-liked among peers.
Here are some specific incidents:
- Frequently asked me to work on jobs that had nothing to do with our current workplace. Due to the hierarchy between us, I felt obligated to do them. He continued to try to get me to do work for him even when he was no longer employed at the same place.
- Would compliment my outfit at normal volume, but ogle me and then whisper something lewd only I could hear. Before I could respond, he'd throw up his hands and say, 'Not to be sexist, or anything!' at normal volume.
- Wonder out loud about my sex life in front of others, then quickly change topic and talk at length before anyone replied.
- Our workplace was spread across several buildings and I had a bi-weekly meeting in one particular building. After discovering my schedule, he made sure to stand at the end of a path I had to take on my way to this meeting. He was always there and he would stare at me with a smirk the entire time.
- Talk about his list of 'women to fuck' and always mention he had not yet fucked a woman of my mixed race background.
- Made sexist jokes in front of others that everyone always laughed at, but he would stare and smirk straight at me every time.
- Invited me to lunch under the guise of thanking me (before creepy comments started) for a task I did. Then spoke about women at another table, said 'That's the real reason I asked you to lunch; you're hot and that increases my value and makes me look less threatening to other women.'
- Frequently describe women as 'stupid idiots' that can 'easily be manipulated into having sex and doing anything you want'. Afterwards he would always make direct eye contact with me and smile.
- He befriended my husband and very quickly declared him his 'best friend'.
- Told my husband stories of how he has psychologically manipulated women into giving him sexual favours.
- Frequently told stories we never asked to hear about sexual encounters he supposedly had.
- He discovered I went home on the same train line as him, so he changed his work schedule to match mine (he used to come in and leave late) and started regularly trying to catch the same train with me.
- He gradually pushed to have lunch together with me, my husband and our friends during the week and to spend the weekends together. This got worse and worse until he was trying to have lunch and dinner with us every single day of the week, AND spend every weekend together.
- If I did not satisfy his curiosity about something, he would bring it up repeatedly, ask lots of questions about it and sit and stare at me in silence for long periods of time until I felt pressured to share information I did not want to.
- He never accepted the word 'No' when we (my husband and I) did not want to spend time with him. We actively tried to avoid him by going home early without telling anyone, but he would appear out of nowhere and ask, 'What are we doing? Where are we going?'
- Tried to push us to accept a gift of a book written by some guy who speaks of the benefits of being able to have sex with anyone, regardless of their relationship status. He specifically mentioned being able to have sex with a woman who is already married.
- Started pushing us to invite him to our home. My husband frequently has business trips abroad and I was afraid this stalker would turn up uninvited while he was away, so I never agreed to this.
- When we were unavailable, blew up our phones with lots of paranoid and insecure messages.
- He made lots of comments to me such as 'Have you gained weight?' 'Are you going grey?' 'What's wrong with your face?' 'What did you do to your hair?' (and turning to pull a face at me which nobody else will see). 'Yeah, you're already X years old, it's all downhill from here for a woman.' 'Why aren't you wearing higher heels?' 'Anyone ever told you your smile looks fake? Makes me wonder if your whole personality is fake too.'
- Insulted and embarrassed me any time I tried to leave a get-together and my husband chose to leave too. He would look at me and say, 'Oh, you're one of those strict wives who never let their husbands enjoy anything in life, huh?'
- Before he left, he made sure to let me know several times that he hates those 'stupid feminists/psycho bitches who feel you're harassing them but never tell you to your face', then staring straight at me in silence. (Note I had not reported him at this point and was still playing friendly.)
----------
I am currently looking for work in another country and the stalker found my professional profile (and my husband's) online. My husband may start a new job soon and news of this (and the location) has already travelled to my old workplace, where the stalker has a huge number of personal and professional connections. What action can I take to ensure he doesn't randomly turn up or apply for a job exactly where we would be? What can I do if he starts to spread rumours about me and my conduct (or my husband's) as retaliation for blocking him and refusing contact?
EDIT - I think I made this a bit confusing because I don't want to mention specific countries, but hopefully this makes it clearer.
All of us were working in country A when the harassment happened. Stalker then left the workplace and moved to another country. I knew the stalker was maintaining connections with researchers, but when I heard he was building new connections with others who just arrived and there were rumours he was going to be re-employed, I reported him. I had zero evidence because it is illegal in country A to record anyone without consent and I had since blocked him on a messaging app (deletes conversations as well).
Some time later, my husband and I moved to country B and there is a job offer in country C. My old colleagues caught wind of the news of what's happening in country C, so stalker may already know and try to go there or apply there. We are friends with the person who will become the director, so all I can think of is informing him of the situation. However, there is no evidence apart from my statements and what others may remember of the stalker's behaviour in public.

Title: I am 35 years old, I made $67,665 gross last year (between multiple jobs) and live in Buffalo and work in higher education and retail.
This is my 5th MD update. Previous MDs in June 2019, October 2019, February 2020, and July 2020.
Ref29 questions:
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Absolutely. Both of my parents have bachelors degrees, and it wasn’t even a conversation of “if” I was going to college, but “where”. I ended up going to a private 4-year college, with a 75% merit scholarship. I was able to pay for the first semester with savings bonds/general savings, but took out loans for the remaining semesters. I worked 2 on campus jobs (tour guide and TA), plus at a coffee shop - this was more for spending money/gas etc. Looking back, I wish that I had put more of that income aside for paying for school, but I was definitely headlong into the student loan trap of “it’s ok, this is good debt….blah blah.”
I thought that i had the exact idea of what I wanted to do for a career - and that basically required a masters degree - so I went straight to grad school after undergrad. Private - and took out the maximum student loans for both years. I cannot stress what a terrible financial idea this was. The last half of my MA was in DC, so I used the loans for rent/food, as I had a full time unpaid internship. Long story short, what I thought was my career goal wasn’t.
I am FINALLY nearly done paying off my loans. If I had to go back and give my past self advice, it would have been to not go to grad school directly after undergrad. I still might have gotten my masters, but I would have done it in a much more financially responsible way.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
We had conversations growing up - but it was much more of a conversation now that I’m an adult. I’ve noted in past MDs, but my parents have told us that they regret not being able to help us all more as teenagers/college/young adults, so they’ve been extremely supportive of my focus on debt repayment.
Did you worry about money growing up?
Not really. I remember being conscious about it - we didn’t have new cars (EVER - like it’s still a thing), and we used coupons/budgets/bulk freezer meals for shopping, but I think a portion of that was that there were 4 of us kids. We were all involved in a variety of extracurricular activities as well, but I don’t remember even being like, limited or restricted from doing anything.
Do you worry about money now?
Absolutely.
While I am noting that I’m making progress, it is still very overwhelming. It’s really hard for me not to beat myself up when I either buy “treats” or things that aren’t really treats, but are just home comforts. I finally bought myself 2 sets (!) of decent sheets this past month after having 1 set of crappy sheets for the last 2 years lol. I still have so much work to do, on debt repayment, fully funding my emergency fund, and (massive goal here) saving for a down payment on a house.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I would say I was financially responsible for myself when I moved for grad school in the fall of 2008 (so when I was 22/23).
That being said, I definitely have had a financial safety net - my parents always assisted with grocery money if I needed it - when I was married, that definitely was not only a safety net, but also got me in a lot of bad habits.
Since my divorce, my parents have assisted with cell phone, car insurance, and letting me live with them for a few months when I moved back to the US. I know that if something happened, they would absolutely assist with a place to live if I needed it.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
As previous MDs have noted, my parents have assisted with assorted checks when my dad got a bonus, and they have always been extremely generous with holiday $.
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance (and how you got there): $33,194.67 (up from $23,800 in February 2020)
This is a combo of Stash Retire ($1721.52), 401K from a previous job ($17,330.01), retirement accounts from my current job ($2807.58 in my optional IRA to which I contribute extra; $2947.46 in the basic retirement plan, to which my employer contributes 7%), and TSP from a previous job ($8,388.10).
Savings account balance: $1000
Checking account balance: $1381.07 (at the start of the money diary)
Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it): $7,558.08 (focus has been more on student loans, plus I am a bit guilty of using it at random points) (down from $19,556 in June 2019).
Student loan debt (for what degree): Current remaining balance is $972.57!!!!! This is down from $23,645.37 in June 2019) (combined loans for undergraduate and graduate degrees in International Relations. To give you an idea of how much I’ve paid off - I’ve paid $118,297.81 off up to this point).
*note: December was a PHENOMENAL debt payment month for me (just over $4k).
Section Two: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $2847.53
*after using the IRS refund calculator, it became clear that I was expecting a much higher refund, so I stopped having extra withheld. Eventually I’ll get the hang of it.
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: $1442.72 (average monthly take home August-December 2020)
My retail job fully reopened, and I also applied for, and got a promotion, which meant both an hourly raise and more hours)
Any Other Monthly Income Here:

• Christmas $ from Mom & Dad - $1000
• Stimulus Checks - $1200 + $600 (Both of these went mainly to debt repayment)

Section Three: Expenses
Rent / Mortgage $980.00/month (+ $3.95 service charge when I pay online) (no change)
Retirement contribution: $115.58/month Roth IRA from work + $80.00/month into Stash Retire (no change)
Savings contribution: $0/month (Debt payments are the priority)
Investment contribution: None
Health/Dental/Vision Insurance: $76.38/month (Through work, it gets taken out biweekly)
FSA contribution: $27.78 biweekly (I set my annual contribution at $750 this year, up from $600)
Debt payments
Student Loan minimums: $55.54 is strictly the minimum for my FINAL (!!!) student loan, but as you all know by now, I have been attacking these with a vengeance and plan on this being gone no later than March.
Credit Card minimums: Avg. Monthly Payment $300. (as mentioned in the debt section, I have slipped slightly on allowing myself to use the credit card, but still have been able to lower my overall amount)
Wifi/Cable/Landline: $64.99/month
Cellphone: Still on the parental plan, but will be transitioning off. I’m shopping around and have started to budget.
Subscriptions: Apple storage - $2.99/month; Netflix- $8.99; (even though I’ve been able to be at home much much more, we still get a monthly barkbox for the toys; Spotify Premium - $9.99/month. Headspace - $14.99/month. Renaissance Periodization - $16.19/month
Laundry (if you pay per load): $40/month. I put aside $10 per paycheck.
Gym membership $75/month - I budget this much for my ROMWOD and Movement Vault monthly subscriptions. This also covers my monthly subscription for my WHOOP band. My retail side gig also provides $225/month to work out. This covers my monthly membership to my crossfit gym, as well as extra megaformer classes. $32.63/month for WHOOP; $13.95/month for ROMWOD; $9.99/month for Movement vault
Pet expenses: $150/month - includes pet insurance. This is what I put into my budget for insurance, food, grooming etc.) Barkbox 31.54/month; Pet insurance $79.24
Car payment / insurance / average gas:$100/month (as my dad plans on retiring within the next year, he will be signing over my car to me, meaning that I will be taking on my insurance. I fully acknowledge that this has been nice to not have to worry about, and that my parents have been absolutely amazing. The current annual insurance for my car looks like it will be around $450. Future money diaries will take this into account.
Renter insurance: $12.50/month
Average groceries / household supply spend; Looking at YNAB, my average spend has been just over $700/month. This seems insanely high for one person, but I do also follow a RP meal plan, meaning that I tend to eat A LOT to fuel my workouts. I also haven’t gone out basically at all ….
Regular therapy: N/A
Charitable Giving: $75/avg. August-Dec 2020 (Much of this was “rage” donating in the run up to the election)
Annual Expenses:
YNAB (You Need A Budget): $83.99/year
NB: Anytime I leave my house, I am masked, including gym visits. It’s honestly not terrible once you find a mask that works for you!
Day 1: Friday
5:45am: Alarm goes off and I get up to put the kettle on to start coffee. Today is a weigh in and weekly review for my meal/training plan, so I enter my numbers and see what my upcoming week will look like as far as my macros. I notice that my chest/shoulder are sore, and hurt when I take a deep breath, but assume that I just slept on my arm wrong. I take out the dog, feed him, and head out to my weightlifting class.
7:30am: Nope, not just sleeping on it wrong. I make it through the lifting portion, but when we start the metcon, I have to stop because it hurts too much to take a really deep breath, instead stretching and cheering everyone else on. Annoyed, but hopefully it’s nothing too crazy. I think it’s just a strain from my muscle up drills the day before. Once I get home, I make breakfast - a savory oatmeal with oats, cheese, chicken sausage, egg whites, and mushrooms, topped with a fried egg and za’atar seasoning from Trader Joe’s. YUM. I log into work and get settled in for a 2 hour (ugh) staff meeting.
11:00am: Finally done with that. Thank goodness for my camera getting to be off. I take a shower and get into “work” clothes - aka lululemon from top to bottom (align leggings, ebb to street crop tank, and a sit in lotus wrap). Back to work until it’s time for lunch, which I have just after noon (rice, sweet potatoes, bell peppers, and ground beef, topped with avocado). Work continues afterwards.
2:00pm: Time for work #2! It’s a fairly uneventful (and slow) afternoon/evening, which is ok after the craziness of the holiday season. And I only have to tell 2 people to put their masks on over their nose and they don’t give me an attitude - woohoo! Around 5 I eat my food on my 10 minute break - another taco-ish bowl, just without the avocado from earlier. I get out from work at 7:30pm.
8:00pm: Home, take the pooch out and feed him and make my casein hot chocolate (casein protein is a slower digesting type vs. whey and it’s my evening “meal” most of the time) plus a couple dark chocolate peanut butter cups. I facetime my Mom briefly and then we each put on our respective Star Wars shows - she and my Dad are watching the Mandolorian (they just got Disney+), and I’m deep into season 4 of the Clone Wars. Bedtime routine starts at 9:30 with a couple of melatonin gummies and I brush my teeth and wash my face (eye makeup remover, then Neutrogena foaming cleanser, and a nighttime moisturizer from Aldi). Snuggle up with the dog and a heating pad with a Headspace night sounds playing.
Daily Total: $0
Day 2: Saturday
5:50am: NO. It’s like 30 minutes before I want to wake up...NO.
6:10am: Uggggggh
6:20am: FINE. Dog outside, then fed. I make coffee and another savory oatmeal (AMAZING - same as yesterday, just no bell peppers). Catch up on podcasts and my YNAB budget. In happiest news, I can take a full big breath without that weird pain from yesterday! Yay!
10:00am: Home from my workout, which went amazingly - I love a good long chipper of a workout! I take the dog out for a little cold weather walk and then make my post-workout meal - Kodiak chocolate chip pancakes with blueberries! (use 1 egg and almond milk to make the pancakes and it fits my post-workout macros: 35P, 10F, 65C). I follow this with a cuddle session with the dog while watching Marple episodes and drinking coffee. I also add items to my lululemon shopping cart and exit out of it before I can spend money. While I get a great discount (especially on markdowns), I know I don’t really NEED anything, so I don’t get anything.
1:00pm: Off to the mall for work. I stop on the way to fill the gas tank ($25). It’s a busy day, but a good one - during my break I eat my taco bowl (rice, sweet potatoes, ground beef, peppers and avocado). I work until 7:30pm.
8:00pm: Home, dog out, casein hot chocolate - the usual. I’m nothing if not a creature of habit. I pull out a Trader Joe’s chocolate croissant to prove overnight in the oven. Bedtime is around 10pm.
Daily Total: $25
Day 3: Sunday
7:50am: Whoooops, I intended to wake up around 7:15, but I didn’t actually set the alarm. Luckily the dog wakes me up with a polite whine - I take him out, make coffee and a bowl of oatmeal (oats, almond milk, egg whites, topped with blueberries), and head to my workout around 9.
11:00am: 2 workout classes later, I’m home - post workout meal is the aforementioned chocolate croissant, and a little egg scramble of egg whites, mushrooms, chicken sausage and broccoli. The afternoon is spent with old Miss Marple episodes on Amazon Prime, combined with laundry and apartment cleaning.
3:00pm: I made a quick loaf of bread (2 hrs of rising, then shaping) and put it in the oven. Happily it turns out pretty damn tasty - I make Trader Joe’s Cippino (seafood soup) and have that with toasted fresh bread around 4/4:30pm. A Clone Wars marathon ensues - the Bills are playing in the AFC championship tonight, so the city is basically a giant ball of nerves. I don’t watch the games (and haven’t all season - mostly because I don’t have all the apps/cable), but I follow the score on my phone while watching many (MANY) episodes of Clone Wars. I facetime my mom and dad around 7 after they finish the Mandolorian and we can all squeal with excitement.
9:00pm: Melatonin gummies, contacts out, teeth brushed, face washed, bedtime.
Daily Total: $0
Day 4: Monday
5:45am: Awake, coffee, take the dog out, head to crossfit.
7:30am: Home, dog out again, then breakfast (homemade toast, everything but the bagel smoked salmon, scrambled egg+egg whites) and more coffee. I login to work at 8am, and get the morning podcasts going (Up First, the Daily, Post Reports, the Intelligence).
10:00am: I place a Target pickup order for the snacks for our break area at the mall (seltzer, peanut butter crackers, cookies, granola bars - all single serving packs). I will be reimbursed for this by the store. ($39.57 - I get a notice that an item isn’t available after I place the order...oh well)
11:00am: I’m traveling out of state for a couple of days - it’s a long awaited tattoo coverup (don’t get a tattoo for a significant other….I knew not to do this...and yet I still did), so I make my list of items to pack and things to remember to do (take out trash, do all my dishes, etc). I will be driving to my destination (Indiana), staying at a hotel by myself, going to the tattoo shop (masked), and back to the hotel. Not telling friends I’m there, not going out anywhere. And I’ve scheduled a test for 4 days after my return, per NYS rules. If I could make the drive nonstop, I would, but your girl isn’t giving herself a UTI lol. I’ll be masked and sanitized anytime I step out of my vehicle. Still super nervous, but getting this tattoo covered up is like….the final FINAL step. I also take a shower (finally, yes I’m gross and have been sitting in my workout clothes since I got home - god help me if I ever live with a human again lol).
2:00pm: Time for head out for work! On the way, I pick up my previously mentioned Target order, and also pick up meals for my trip from a local meal prep place - I get a bunch of great stuff (2 breakfasts, 2 dinners, 1 lunch plus energy bites for the car), plus it means that I can just hermit it up in the hotel room apart from the actual tattoo appointment. ($62.68). I get to the mall early before my shift starts - since I know I’ll have a tub in the hotel room, and I don’t have one in my apartment, I get a couple of bath bombs and lotion from Lush ($25.93) and a whole bunch of sheet masks from Sephora ($25.01). Then time for work - It’s a fairly quick shift, which is nice, not too terribly busy and we get a lot done. And people at the mall are generally not pills today - epic win!
8:15pm: Home from work - take the dog out and have a little evening meal of homemade soup from my co-worker (it’s a kale sausage soup her husband makes and it is AMAZING) and the rest of my homemade bread. I finish packing up and the poor pup definitely knows something is up. Bedtime around 10pm.
Daily Total: $153.19
Day 5: Tuesday
5:45am: Alarm, dog, coffee. Rather than dirtying dishes, I heat up one of the prepped breakfasts I brought (a breakfast sandwich with chicken, which is actually quite tasty - plus some blueberries). I get the car loaded up with my stuff and the dog - he’s staying with my parents while I’m gone - and head out by 7:15am. After I drop him off I top off my gas tank ($14.10), and also get a couple of bubly waters and a can of death wish coffee for the road ($6.25).
12:00pm: Lunch stop at panera - fuji apple chicken salad and a cup of chicken noodle soup - drive thru and eaten in the car ($10.94, but I have a gift card). Road Trip Podcasts: You’re Wrong About and Noble Blood.
3:00pm: Gas stop (there’s also a few bathroom stops, but since I didn’t spend anything, it’s not terribly relevant, right? :) ) ($27.01).
5:30pm: Arrival! Check in to the hotel - masked front desk employee, check. Bring my stuff up to my room, and jackpot - biiiiiiiiig tub. Looks like those bath bombs were a solid choice! Open up the work laptop to see if there is anything urgent - nothing crazy - and decide which meal I want for dinner. Bourbon Chicken with Broccoli and Sweet Potatoes it is. Plus a Sparkling Apple Cider vinegar beverage (ginger and lemon) from Trader Joes. Before I eat, I do a lower body focused stretching routine from ROMWOD since I spent so long in the car.
7:30pm: Bath Bomb, Face Mask, Feet Mask, and finished Night Stalker on Netflix. Since I’ll be quarantining until I get a negative COVID test after my trip, I order 10 meals through the same meal prep company that I got my travel meals from ($88.43 - includes both delivery fee and tip). They will be delivered on Sunday.
Daily Total: $146.73
Day 6: Wednesday
6:00am - I had intended to sleep longer, but my body is like - nope, you’re waking up at the same time no matter what. Coffee (keurig in the hotel room - ick) plus a prepped breakfast (a goat cheese egg white scramble with sweet potatoes - which is delicious). Morning podcasts and I open up the work laptop. Since I’m awake I guess.
7:30am: Hotel room workout - I do yesterday’s workout from my gym, with a few modifications, but it still feels great to move after sitting in the car for so long! Shower afterwards, then food (Mexican Taco Bowl!) and work.
10:30am: Squuuuueeee it’s time for my tattoo. I double mask up, drive through for a Starbucks order ($4.74 - paid for on my Starbucks app with previously loaded funds) and head to the shop! I already paid my deposit and took advantage of a gift card sale before Christmas so I don’t owe anything additional today. We do linework, shading, and partial color. It’s going to take 2 appointments to do the full thing, so we make my next appointment for May (augh, I cannot wait!). My coverup is over black text, so a cover up involves a LOT of layering of color. I’m impressed that I still have stamina after not getting a tattoo for nearly 3 years.This is going to be BEAUTIFUL.
2:30pm: After my tattoo appointment, I make a quick stop at CVS (still double masked!) to pick up aquaphor, orange dial soap, ibuprofen, and toothpaste (cause naturally that’s the one thing I forgot to pack - d’oh) ($22.00). I make a curbside pickup order for Panera - another soup and salad combo ($10.55 - again paid for with gift cards!). I head back to my hotel room, eat, put on more podcasts (Planet Money, Can He Do That, Code Switch) and log onto work. An uneventful afternoon follows.
6:00pm: Facetime call with my mom, then dinner and various true crime documentaries on Netflix and Pinterest browsing because as per usual, now I want allll the tattoos. I also put in an order for a grocery pickup on my way home (coffee, coffee creamer, fruit, etc) ($66.82). I try to make a testing appointment through NYS for my return COVID test on Monday, but the automated system keeps putting me in the first available, which is Friday….I’ll try to schedule again on Friday so that the timing works. Bedtime tattoo routine of wash, aquaphor and ibuprofen, as well as a sheet face mask. Sleep around 10:00pm.
Daily Total: $104.11
Day 7: Thursday
6:00am: Welp, up and at em! I finish packing all my stuff, check out of the hotel and warm up the car. I head out around 7:00am. Top off the gas tank ($12.80) and I also add $15 to my Starbucks card and drive thru a Starbucks (Spinach Feta Wrap + Cafe Misto with almond milk). Then it’s time for podcasts and lots of driving. My mom had suggested a podcast from Serial - S*%*Town. IT’S AMAZING and this drive has never gone so fast!
11:00am: (or sometime around this time) Stop for gas ($27.01) and another Starbucks stop ($15 reload) to get another misto, a bottle of water, and a fruit/cheese/hard boiled egg box.
3:00pm: I was going to try to make it all the way without stopping for anything else, but my stomach is about to eat itself. I stop at a Tim Hortons about 45 minutes away from my parents’ house and get timbits and a hot chocolate (which is gross) ($6.66 - eeep). I get to my parents’ house - my mom and dad stay upstairs and in the basement respectively while I use the bathroom and retrieve a very happy pup. Once I get everything out to the car, my mom and dad come outside (double masked, as am I) and we quickly wave and air hug from a distance. On the way home, I drive through the grocery pickup and get my groceries.
5:30pm: Finally home. The dog is very happy to be home too - my mom said when she would come into the bedroom where he was, he would look at her and be - “oh…..just you…”. Such a momma’s boy :) Dinner is actual food (the rest of the kale sausage soup). I also put together a batch of cranberry almond biscotti (based off the Ina Garten cherry pistachio biscotti) - the apartment smells delicious. Settling in for post-travel isolation lol.
9:30pm: Melatonin gummies, tattoo upkeep, and then bedtime with the dog!
Daily Total: $76.47
Weekly Total: $505.50
Food & Drink: $326.64
Fun & Entertainment: $0
Home & Health: $22.00
Clothes & Beauty: $50.94
Transport: $105.92
Reflections:
First, GODDAMN I AM SO EXCITED TO PAY OFF THIS STUDENT LOAN. Just paid another $200 on it this morning, so we’re under $800!! If you hear an excited scream from the Western New York area next month, don’t worry, it’s just me.
Second, this was a higher spend week than usual, but I’m really proud to have budgeted for all of it. I had basically prepaid for the tattoo (on the gift card) and there’s still leftover for my next appointment. I had also budgeted and saved for the increased amount of gas and food.
Third, hopefully this isn’t too boring. My life pre-pandemic wasn’t terribly interesting, and it certainly isn’t now lol. I’m hoping to continue my debt payoff progress by finishing paying off my credit card debt in 2021, and start saving my 3-6 month emergency fund before starting that house down payment savings! I’m even starting to allow myself to start actually looking at Zillow.
I have been isolating since I got back - just drove through and got my COVID test, so fingers crossed for a quick reply!
Lastly, the coverup tattoo is going to be beautiful. I can’t wait for it to be finished!
Thanks for reading this whole thing!