GME Short Squeeze and Ryan Cohen DD for Jim Cramer, The (Man)Child Who Wandered Into the Middle of the GME-Cohen Movie 🚀 🚀 🚀
The Dude:It's like what Lenin said…you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh... Donny:I am the walrus. The Dude:You know what I'm trying to say... Donny:I am the walrus. Walter Sobchak:Shut the fuck up, Donny!V.I. Lenin!Vladimir Illanich Uleninov! Donny:What the fuck is he talking about, Dude? Hello again, GME Gang. What a fun day we had yesterday! Could it continue today? Only Melvin Capital (and maybe Ryan Cohen) knows! And an extra special hello today to our newest WSB lookie-loo, Mr. Cramer (Can I call you Jim? I’m gonna call you Jim). Now Jim, from what I’ve been able to gather, you and your Boomer stocks and your Hot Manic Takes don’t always get a lot of love around here. But that’s not all your fault, Jim. The Paste-Eating Rocket Kids are often good for a solid meme (FYI: it’s pronounced “Mee-Mee.” Feel free to use that on air without verifying). But the Rocket Kids can be a dense bunch and they’re also often one click away from Total Financial Ruin (Quick shout out to SPCE: Pleas fly again). So you have to dig a bit in here to separate the wheat from the chaff, as someone like you actually says in real life. What the fuck even is chaff, Jim? And why do all Boomers seem to think that folksy farm-based idioms are the perfect way to conclude a thought? Anyway. Those of us who watched your teevee clips last week where you reference your interest in WSB know that you, Jim Cramer, might be one of the Olds, but that you also Think Young(TM). https://www.thestreet.com/jim-cramestock-market-advice-moderna-boeing-fed-ftc-dec-15. So we’re going to do our best to help your young-thinkin’ brain find the Needle In the Haystack here so you can get All Your Ducks In a Row on GME. Because we know that you’re a long way from being Put Out to Pasture, and though you may be an out-of-touch millionaire prone to facile yammering, we now like you here, Jim—simply because you mentioned us and that made us blush a bit since we’re needy Millennials who just want our Boomer mommies and daddies to Tell Us They’re Proud of Us. So even though the Paste-Eating Rocket Kids here are often Buying A Pig in a Poke (Christ, please do not ever say that or the kids’ Mee-Mees are gonna fuck you up), we appreciate you recognizing that, every now and then, there’s something worth paying attention to over in this weird little pocket of the Interwebs. And since you’re actually telling your loyal single-finger-typin’ viewers to check out this WSB shitshow, and “if they’re running GME, then do some work on GME,” we assume you might actually be checking this shit out too, since all true Young Thinkers know that What’s Good for the Goose is Good for the Gander. Now, is the GME play as solid as your recent recommendation to buy Bed Bath and Beyond? Who knows? That seems pretty stupid, and I would look it up myself this weekend but my nice little Saturday is already pretty full so I don’t know—I don’t know if I’ll have enough time. But I’ll tell you one thing: the GME play is a lot more fucking fun. Life in a pandemic is boring, but here in this weird WSB place, these kids like fun. And for all your Boomer weirdness, you seem like you still like to have a little fun in this Mad, Mad world of ours. So consider joining us here more often. A word of warning, though: if you don’t like all the dern cuss words we use around here, Jim, well that’s just, like, your opinion man, and we’ll have you know that the Supreme Court has roundly rejected Prior Restraint. First thing’s first: we have a bit of a bone to pick with you (now there I go). The stuff you said last week about GME as the next Blockbuster was D-U-M dumb, Jim. You were a bit out of your fucking element with that. You even made our largest shareholder and conqueror-in-waiting, Mr. Ryan Cohen, send an emoji-only tweet in response, which if you know the super nice-guy Ryan Cohen like all of us do (we actually know nothing), that is pretty much the equivalent of him bringing his dog over to micturate on your and George Sherman’s rug. Now, I myself have never been into the whole brevity thing, but I wanted to take this opportunity to get you up to speed on the GME movie you’ve wandered into. And I know you’re down with this because you told all your viewers that if WSB is talking about GME, then “make sure you know GME.” So before you say something Absolutely Mad again and Cohen sends a tweet with an even less ambiguous emoji, it’s high time that you start Making the Sure here, Jim. Just consider this to be CPT Hubbard delivering you some Orange Sunshine and turning you on to some of that Sweet, Delicious Non-Chaff Wheat you love so goddamn much. Part 1: GME’s Bonkers-Ass Short Interest Now, I’m going to lead with the most crowd-pleasing part of the story here (Get ready, Rocket Kids!), and it’s the one that you did not even seem remotely familiar with in your “Stay out of GameStop, Deadbeat!” rant last week. Maybe that was by design or maybe not. We’ll return to that, Jim. But the point here is: the short interest here is batshit insane. And not just your garden variety Boomer in Rolled Up Sleeves Ranting About Buying Estee Lauder While Hitting Buttons On The Beep-Bop-Boop Machine kind of insanity. Really and truly fucking nuts. So to TL/DR this shit for you, Jim (to use the parlance of our times): GME is themost shorted stocktrading today—by far. https://financhill.com/most-heavily-shorted-stocks-today How shorted? Well, the value of shares short exceeds the market cap of the company; there are currently more shares short than the total number of shares outstanding. And when factoring in the institutional and insider ownership, the total short percentage of float is nearly 300%. https://www.gurufocus.com/term/FloatPercentageOfTSO/GME/Float-Percentage-Of-Total-Shares-Outstanding/GameStop-Corp Even higher, actually, now that Cohen’s interest is over 10%. Now, I’m not a numbers whiz like you, but that level of short interest and the small available float seems pretty fucked up to me. Like: “how is that even legal?” fucked up. And just for a frame of reference, the third most shorted security right now is your beloved Bed Bath and Beyond, with a short percentage of float at a nice and tidy 69%. Are you starting to gather why some of us in this weird little pocket of the Interwebs are a little excited about GME? You see, as u/Jeffamazon and RodAlzmann u/Uberkikz11 and others have explained in these here corners and on the twitter machine with their top-notch DD, and as I will translate to you in lingo you can dig, the short sellers got way over their skiis on this one expecting a bankruptcy in Spring of 2020 that never came. And yet, amazingly, the short interest has only increased since then—there has effectively been no covering in the aggregate and, in fact, the short percentage has only gone up. And now, on the threshold of 2021, we all sit atop a massive powder keg wondering what is going to be the thing that finally lights this shit up. And at the end of this little missive, I’m going to tell you what I think that thing might be (Spoiler: It’s Ryan Cohen! Better start getting used to seeing his name, Jim, because this dude does not fuck around and he’s not going anywhere). https://www.reddit.com/wallstreetbets/comments/k4csaa/the_real_greatest_short_burn_of_the_century_part/ https://twitter.com/RodAlzmann https://thecollective.finance/2020/10/gamestop-gme-a-squeeze-to-44-from-14-can-be-justified-fundamentally-100-of-the-shares-are-short-watch-out/ Part 2: GameStop Isn’t Going Bankrupt and People Actually Want to Buy Shit There So, you foul mouthed little prick, a bonkers-ass short interest is neat and all, but why is Jim Cramer wrong when Jim Cramer compares GME to Blockbuster you might be asking yourself in the third person. First, the most obvious answer, Jim, which you should fucking know already: Blockbuster was nearly $1 Billion in debt and missing debt payments left and right when it was delisted way back in 2010. That was also when there was a bit of a credit crunch, if you recall, right after that whole Housing Crash Unpleasantness that you saw coming from a mile away and from which you made hundreds of millions of dollars due to your contrarian foresight—I’m sorry, I’m clearly confusing you with Christian Bale starring as Dr. Michael Burry, weirdo head of Scion Asset Management, which also holds about 1.4M shares of GME (You really gotta start looking into this stuff, Jim. This story is made for TV, man—and you Boomers were raised by TV and you turned out TV!). Also, in 2010 when Netflix is ripping and when Blockbuster was about to be delisted and bankrupt, an analyst noted the obvious fact that Blockbuster had “nothing on the horizon that makes it look like Blockbuster is going to be more profitable.” https://www.reuters.com/article/us-blockbusteblockbuster-wins-debt-reprieve-forced-to-delist-idUSTRE66052720100702 But Jim, if your Blockbuster comparison has any plausibility, GameStop must have a major debt problem then, right? And yet just last month GameStop repaid $125M in debt several months ahead of time. It’s also really weird that over the past year management bought back a ton of shares, taking the OS from 102M down to just under 70M (making a short squeeze even more likely, my Rocket Children). The weirdness continues with a soon-to-be-bankrupt company holding almost $500M in cash on hand. And according to George Sherman’s “Thine Omnichannel Shalt Be The Omni-est Channel of Them All” Conference Call following Q3, by March 2021 GME will have retired a total of $500M in debt and returned $200M to shareholders through stock buy backs. I’m no expert here, and I do not presently own a Beep-Bop-Boop Machine, but that’s all pretty weird shit to be doing if you’re about to go bankrupt. No, no – I get it: who the fuck actually looks at balance sheets anyway before spouting off about what a stock is going to do? I sure as hell don’t. That’s why I follow my man u/Uberkikz11, since that dude is a GME DD Encyclopedia and was born to crunch numbers. No, when Really Smart People make the Blockbuster comparison, it’s usually just Mouth Sounds for: A B&M Store That Used to Be Popular But Now Is Not Because Technology, QED. But here even the Really Smart People might be missing something as well. They’re right in the sense that GME must use this new console cycle window and cash influx to quickly pivot to a tech-first gaming company (more on that and our boy RC shortly!), but they’re wrong on the timing and relevance of this Super Smart Insight. So fine, they’re doing ok on debt and cash. But who even goes to that 90s-Ass-Looking Cluttered Mall Geekery anymore anyways? I confess: in my darkest moments, as the short sellers manipulate the fuck out of this stock and I curse the names Bell and Sherman, I too have wondered this. But it turns out that, just like I have no idea why anyone listens to Maroon 5 or eats at Applebee’s, apparently a lot of people in America do shit that I do not. Crazy huh? So here is some pretty neat data showing us how out of touch we might be here, Jim: First, when a pretty large sample size of people were recently asked the question: which of the following stores or websites do you plan to buy holiday gifts from? The #5 response from United States Americans was none other than GameStop (Ticker, Jim: GME). Only Walmart, Amazon, Target, and Dollar Store (poor people buy gifts too, Jim) were ahead of little old GameStop. That’s higher than Nike, Macy’s, the Apple Store—and double the response of Bed Bath and Fucking Beyond in every category they surveyed. Check it: (h/t to my man u/snowk88) https://stocktwits.com/snowk88/message/260983915 That’s kinda crazy huh? See Jim, when you Think Young(TM), you really can learn something new every day. And by following our man u/snowk88 (@snowk88 over at stocktwits), I learn lots of cool shit. But guess who already knew that? The guy that wrote this bad-ass letter that identifies GME’s brand and customer data as being one of the most valuable things GME has going for it. https://s.wsj.net/public/resources/documents/RC_Ventures_Letter_to_GameStop.pdf So now we know that Real Life People actually buy shit at GameStop here in the year of our lord 2020. But like that analyst from 2010 said about Blockbuster, there must not be anything on the horizon for GameStop to be more profitable in 2021, right? Now, I will admit that being a bit bearish on GME in December of 2020 would make more sense if, say, GameStop were the nation’s largest purveyor of limp and half-lit pumpkin spice-scented candles and we were exiting the apogee of Shitty Candle Season. But as it turns out, GameStop is currently selling basically the most sought-after items that exist in the marketplace right now—where demand for the Xbox and Ps5 is far outpacing supply and is projected to continue well into 2021. https://www.gamesindustry.biz/articles/2020-11-17-microsoft-expects-xbox-series-x-s-shortages-until-q2-2021 I don’t really need to get into the details on that here, because it’s pretty goddamn obvious, but I think 2020 GameStop at the precipice of a new console cycle might be in a bit of a better position than, say, 2010 Blockbuster relying on the latest Adam Sandler release to lift its sagging rental numbers. But I don’t know. Millions of people don’t watch my show looking for Candid Analysis from me and my folksy man-of-the-people-lookin’ rolled-up sleeves. Part 3:Ryan Cohen is the Sword of Damocles Hanging Over the Short Sellers’ Dumbass Heads And now we’ve gotten to the best part. It’s my favorite part of all of this, Jim, and if you give this a little time, I think it will be yours too. You see, all that corporate bla bla bla about balance sheets and console cycles and early debt repayment and overleveraged short sellers and brand recognition is neat and all—and definitely worth a second look by itself. Maybe even a little Beep-Bop-Boop on the ol’ sound machine—I don’t know your methods. But the real thing that’s about to rip all our faces off here is the business and investment decisions of a mild-mannered wunderkind named Ryan Cohen. Now you can revisit my prior epistle if you want to know a bit more about the involvement of Mr. Ryan Cohen in Le AffairGameStop. https://www.reddit.com/wallstreetbets/comments/kakxrm/gme_tribe_a_story_about_how_ryan_cohen_is_about/. My fly-by-night theory of his lawyer’s possible use of the consent solicitation could have probably marinated for another day, but the thrust of my argument there was that Cohen and his attorney have been laying the groundwork to come after GameStop for a while now. And that Cohen was likely emboldened by the humiliating, lame-ass CC performance by some dude with a mid-century comic-strip sounding name that we’ll all soon know only as: The Guy With the Punchable Face Who Used to Be CEO of GameStop. But here is where things get really interesting. This is a story in the making, Jim, for fucks sake - take notes! This Monday, on December 21, Mr. Ryan Cohen filed a revised 13D showing that last week he started buying a shit-ton of shares—starting on Tuesday December 15th—which is the day after the stock price inexplicably plunged on Monday the 14th and the very same day you were yammering on the teevee about GME being Blockbuster! Instead of listening to you, however, Cohen started buying more GME shares (super-sleuth dark pool watchers u/rgrAi and u/snowk88 noticed in real-time that there was some very large accumulation taking place), which culminated in the big reveal that Cohen purchased a total of 2,501,000 additional shares last week—500,000 of which were purchased on Friday December 18, 2020 at the price of $16.02 a share. Ryan Cohen is still the single largest shareholder of GME with 9,001,000 shares in total, taking his ownership of GME above the 10% threshold from 9.98% to 12.9%. And so he apparently thinks that the floor for his investment is $16.02 per share. Is he still buying? We’ll know soon. But yesterday seemed like a little taste of what it might look like if a large buyer steps in to prevent short sellers from manipulating all of my nervous little Rocket Children here and their delicate little paper hands. There was another thing we learned from this 13D filing: Ryan Cohen has apparently hired a new attorney and law firm. Instead of the great Christopher Davis of Kline Kaplan, now Ryan Cohen is represented by Ryan P. Nebel, a partner with Olshan Frome Wolosky, LLP. Now, if you’re familiar with my prior ramblings, you might wonder if I was a bit confused, and maybe even a little sad, at this sudden change from my man C. Davis. And you might be a little right. But then the wonder of the internet allowed me to learn a bit about these new lawyers. And holy shit, things are about to get fun. Now, I liked what I knew about Chris Davis and he seems like a genuine bad ass activist attorney. But the folks at Olshan Frome and Wolosky, LLP are Next Level Players and really seem tailor-made for this exact situation. First off, Olshan is ranked as the top global lawfirm for Activist Attorneys. https://www.olshanlaw.com/assets/htmldocuments/Bloomberg%20Activism%20League%20Tables%20H12020.pdf (H/t @flummoxed at stocktwits). They seem to be the go-to law firm for major proxy battles initiated by activist investors. But possibly even more important is that Olshan is the same firm that represented Hestia and Permit in their successful proxy battle earlier this year to appoint two new directors to the GME Board. I’m not going into the fine details of that, because this is already a bit of a long-form Idiot’s New Yorker article, but GameStop just went through a proxy fight last year with Activist Investors Hestia Capital and Permit Capital, which resulted in two Board seats for our shareholder buds from Hestia and Permit. So, it’s reasonable to assume that the attorneys at Olshan might know their way around GameStop at this point and where the pressure points are here. http://www.globallegalchronicle.com/hestia-capital-and-permit-capitals-two-new-directors-to-the-gamestop-board/ https://www.olshanlaw.com/resources-mentions-HestiaCapital-PermitCapital-GameStop-BoardofDirectors-ShareholderActivism.html And if you follow u/snowk88 over at stocktwits (@snowk88)— you’d also find a wealth of DD on how Olshan rolls when entering these activist-investor-replaces-dumbass-boards-and-CEOs type disputes. To bottom line it: they get it fucking done. https://stocktwits.com/snowk88/message/266158534 https://stocktwits.com/snowk88/message/266155112 https://stocktwits.com/snowk88/message/266153175 But what else did we learn from the 13D? We learned that Ryan Cohen is definitely not going anywhere any time soon. Specifically, the filing notes that RC Ventures intends to continue to engage in discussions with GameStop’s board “regarding means to drive stockholder value, including through changes to the composition of the board and other corporate governance enhancements." And while RC Ventures “desires to come to an amicable resolution with [GameStop, it] will not hesitate to take any actions that it believes are necessary to protect the best interests of all stockholders.” I really like that last part, don’t you? And although I thought his November 16th letter was pretty goddamn clear, this 13D just ratcheted up the transparency level here. In sum, Ryan Cohen has all of our backs and he’s going to replace this Board and Sherman with people that are on the level and that will help implement his vision. And now seems like a good time to return to those “Ryan Cohen: Boy Genius” articles that were definitely NOT part of a well-coordinated pre-hostile takeover media campaign initiated earlier this year. I think there might be a few things in those articles that Mr. Cohen wanted all of us shareholders (as well as the short sellers and the Board he’s about to replace) to really and truly understand. Recall also that Cohen is not one for diversification or for playing it safe. So here’s a few choice nuggets for you to ponder: *** Bloomberg, June 2020: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-06-05/chewy-founder-cashes-out-bets-on-apple-wells-fargo · "It's too hard to find, at least for me, what I consider great ideas," he says. "When I find things I have a lot of conviction in, I go all-in." · Cohen uses the word “conviction” a lot. He says it’s something he learned from his father, who ran a glassware importing business in Montreal where Cohen grew up. “He taught me how to block the noise from the masses,” says Cohen. “To have a point of view and have conviction and not waver.” · He wouldn’t, however, recommend his [non-diversified] investment approach to everyone. “You need to have the temperament to block the noise,” he says. “Sometimes it feels like a roller coaster.” · He likens his obsessive focus on building Chewy to his approach to stock picking. "I don't want to swing for a single," he says. *** You hear that, Jim? Our man Cohen likes idioms too! But fuck those farm idioms, Jim – we’re upgrading to the Sportsball kind now. So what’s the takeaway here? I’d say that Cohen has his Eye On The Ball and that it’s time for all short sellers and the Board to Throw in The Towel because Ryan Goddamn Cohen likes to Take the Bull By The Horns and will ensure that he Hits a Homerun for shareholders that believe in his vision. Here’s a few more things Mr. Cohen wants all of us to know: *** Forbes, August 2020: https://www.forbes.com/sites/zackfriedman/2020/08/16/entrepreneur-chewy-founder-ryan-cohen-shares-his-best-advice/?sh=41e1370e5840 · “For me, each no sounded like they just didn’t understand my vision. It was frustrating at times, but never discouraging. Those ‘no’s never made me doubt my strategy – it was the opposite. I was motivated by all the rejections and they just got me fired up.” · “I understood that thinking big was likely going to be misunderstood along the way. I’m contrarian by nature, so being misunderstood often validates what I’m doing. It wasn’t until Chewy boxes were on doorsteps across the country that the bulk of investors started to recognize our formula.” · “[M]y biggest risk would have been not taking risk. The risk of going head-to-head against Amazon. The risk of insourcing fulfillment. The risk of building a company in Florida rather than a popular tech hub. The risk of spending $3 million a month on TV ads, more than Home Depot HD -0.1%'s budget. The risk of hiring expensive executives even though we weren’t profitable. These decisions were some of the most controversial and required me being comfortable betting against conventional wisdom, and were often contrary to the advice of my board. Suffice it to say, I was not the most popular board member.” · “Dad never swayed when he believed in something. I never compromised my vision, regardless how many investors turned me down I was not going to give up on building Chewy into the world’s biggest online pet retailer. I love to be challenged, and I’m flexible on details, but I’m never willing to give up.” *** Goddamn it, Ryan. I was done having children but now you’ve forced me into getting back on that train just so I can name this future child Ryan Fucking Cohen. Thanks a lot, asshole. But to return to my point: are those the statements of a man that seems likely to walk away at this point? Or is Cohen trying to tell us all to get ready because he is going All In on this shit? So where does this leave us? After a huge week where Cohen buys 2.5M more shares and then the SP skyrockets to $20 yesterday on that news? Well, this is where I want to tip my cap to my man Justin Dopierala over at Seeking Alpha and allow him to conclude this section. He, along with his pal Dmitriy Kozin have been pretty clear-eyed on all this shit for a while now and they both deserve some credit. And I know I gave my main man Justin a bit of a hard time in my last novella, but the dude is sharp as hell and helped a lot of us see the forest through the trees here. And you should also definitely invite him to join your poker nights (seriously: check out the dude’s tweet in response to our own Rod Alzmann’s introduction of the #WeWantCohen hashtag right after the Q3 call debacle). https://twitter.com/DOMOCAPITAL/status/1336446055685230592. You have no comment on a potential takeover involving Ryan Cohen, Justin after your hour-long googly-eyed call together? Can’t believe you’re just preemptively leaving the WSJ and Bloomberg hanging like that. Justin, I love you dude, but if I’m holding pocket Kings I’m folding after that tweet because that twinkle in your eye lets me know you’re about to drop two Aces on my ass. Anyway. Here is what our man Dopierala thinks might happen here soon (and he called this way back on November 17th- and sorry - no links here, per the mods, as apparently no Alpha must ever be Sought from these parts): I think a very likely outcome at this point is a majority slate next shareholder meeting where Cohen takes over BOD and then makes himself CEO. A majority slate proxy battle would require all institutions to call in shares and would force a squeeze. We’re intrigued, Justin. Please continue: If Ryan Cohen successfully negotiates a purchase price with the Board then the shareholders will have to vote on it. Unlike the proxy battle where Hestia and Permit were running a minority slate of directors, an offer to purchase GameStop would force institutions like Vanguard and Blackrock to call in their shares. By doing so, the shorts would be forced to close out their positions and GameStop would finally have the greatest short squeeze of all-time. Ironically, Cohen could use this opportunity to sell all of his shares and use the proceeds to entirely fund the acquisition of GameStop going down as the first person in history to acquire a billion dollar company... for absolutely nothing. In fact, his acquisition price would be less than zero. And now is when I get to speculate on what I think is going to happen here. But I do not necessarily think Cohen is going to put an offer to buy GME to take private. That would definitely trigger a MOASS, but I’m not sure I see it given the attorneys he’s hired and his recent buys up to $16 and the amount of cash that would take. Like Dopierala’s first comment, though, I think Cohen is going to nominate directors to replace nearly the entire Board of Directors with a vote happening at the annual meeting and once that Board is in place, they’ll appoint Cohen as CEO. And as Justin notes, if he nominates a majority slate of directors, shares will have to be called in to vote. And this vote and proxy battle will make the prior minority slate Hesita/Permit battle, and the tiny short squeeze that took place when that happened, look tame by comparison. Now everyone: get your calendars out. Because the date to nominate directors here is in Mid-March, and my super-smart corporate lawyer buds inform me that it’s standard practice to file about 7-10 days prior. So, if this actually happening, we should be seeing something on this by early March. But even though early March is now the mark on the wall, today’s insane price action caused me to think about all of this a bit harder and speculate a bit more. And a major h/t to my buds on the stocktwits board, especially u/rgrAi (@amarbar) for all the sharp analysis on this. But if you were Ryan Cohen and you knew this company was hugely undervalued and you had a high level of CONVICTION here and also knew you needed shareholder votes to sweep out these dumbasses and implement your vision—then how would you play this with the short interest here as crazy as it is? I’d keep buying. Why? Well, lots of reasons, you smart alecks. First, so I have more guaranteed votes (duh?). Second, so that when the building starts burning and short hedge funds run for the exits they find that a mild-mannered Millennial with super-good ideas has sealed off all the doors and windows. That’s gruesomely delicious, isn’t it? Why else, CPT? Well, finally, and maybe most importantly, because I would want to excite and delight all my fellow shareholders by triggering a slow-burn short squeeze, raising the SP significantly, so that I can once again make the point (as he did in the Nov 16 letter) that the incompetent management that caused a HUGE drop in SP following that utterly incompetent Q3 call and the shelf registration, had nothing to do with the SP increase that again happened once Cohen announced his intent and started buying. Not the console cycle, not the cost containment measures, not the buybacks and not the early debt reduction. Nope: rightly or wrongly, shareholders will see Ryan Cohen buying shares and the corresponding SP increase and everyone—especially all new buyers who are delighted at their good fortune and swept up by Ryan Cohen Fever 2021—will start getting #WeWantCohen tattoos on their ass they’ll be so happy. And all of us, newly enriched by Ryan Cohen’s Big Canadian Balls and tactical brilliance, will crawl over glass to vote for him over The Boomer Artist Formally Known As GameStop’s CEO. I could be very wrong on this last point in particular, but if we start seeing 13Ds drop here shortly, things should get very fun very quickly. Part 4: A Return to Our Short-Squeeze-to-Da-Moon Discussion: Who’s Side Are You Fucking On, Jim? Now, Jim, given the fast friendship we’re creating here, and all we’ve been through over the past 5000 words, I hesitate in bringing this up. But we’ve all seen the video, Jim. You know the one I’m talking about. Yes, the one where you actually tell the truth about how short selling hedge funds manipulate the market to knock down the price of perfectly good securities that many hard-working people invest in—many normal-ass people all assuming they wont ever have to Point Where On The Dolly The Invisible Hand of the Economy Touched Them. But that’s not life now is it Jim? And fuck those poor-ass rubes for not knowing how to play the game with you sophisticated Masters of the Universe, amirite? https://www.reddit.com/dashpay/comments/93evx4/jim_cramer_reveals_dirty_tricks_short_sellers_use/ https://dealbook.nytimes.com/2007/03/20/cramer-market-manipulato So where are you in this whole GME/Cohen story, Jim? You candidly (gleefully?) acknowledge that a prime strategy that shorts deploy is to spread negative rumors that are then amplified by Big Smart Trustworthy Financial Media Titans like yourself to shake out unsophisticated retail players like my Rocket Kids here—who because of their tiny paper hands and you mean short selling brutes often subsist on paste and paste alone. So for this particular security, are you the one helping with the manipulation and actively creating the “new truth” or are you just one of the Useful Idiots that these short sellers use to manipulate with an anodyne, TV media-ready comparison like: GameStop Is The Next Blockbuster? And how in the fuck does this fit into your Think Young(TM) project, Jim? Because if there is one thing that we over at WSB fucking hate, it’s a bunch of Manipulative Short Selling Boomer Fuckwads. Why on earth would a hip Young Thinker like you want to be included in that crew, Jim? And I know we’re all friends here now, Jim, but I need to push back a bit on some of what you said in that video in such a cavalier whatareyagonnado manner. So if I understand you, short and distort and fomenting negative reactions from retail players based on deliberately false narratives is illegal, but still easy as fuck to do "because the SEC doesn't understand it." But you fucking do understand it, Jim! So why are you helping those short and distorters break the law here? Why are you being such an obtuse dumbshit? Just check out what happens to the borrow rate and short selling every time there is any good news for GME: https://stocktwits.com/Slantedangles/message/264519950 (h/t @slantedangles). This manipulation isn't just happening with GME; it is happening everywhere. It’s baked into the cake. And that is pretty fucked up that we all just accept it because whatareyagonnado. I think that one thing that those of us who truly do Think Young(TM) have a hard time understanding is at what point in your lives do you Boomers all finally come to realize that it’s maybe time to stop playing the game like you have been? What point do you finally have enough where doing the right thing matters more than getting paid? Maybe start by telling the truth more often—and maybe don’t go out of your way to help those corrupt-ass hedge fund managers who continually fuck over average people merely because they were stupid enough to believe you all. What contempt you Masters of the Universe have for all of them—for all of us. There is a bigger story here on GME and this out-of-control short interest (naked shorting, counterfeit shares) http://counterfeitingstock.com/CS2.0/CounterfeitingStock.html than even Ryan Cohen and the inevitable short squeeze we’re about to witness here. And it begins and ends with people like you and Melvin Capital and Bank of America not giving a fuck about the rules while thinking you’re smarter than the rest of us who do—but who lack power to do anything about it. And you know what? Maybe you are smarter than us. You certainly know how to play this game pretty well, as that video shows. But if I know my old school 1980s movies like I think I do, this is usually the part of the story where the rag-tag kids from across the tracks come over to show you hubristic rich fuckheads what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass. Now I myself have never dabbled in pacifism, Jim, so this isn’t too much of a stretch for me, but seeing that video of yours and seeing the insane short interest and all the manipulation here makes me want to burn the whole corrupt system to the ground—while barricading the doors to trap in those arrogant-ass short sellers who lie and cheat and distort to profit off average people. And though I’m certain that this larger battle is not driving him, maybe that result is one that Ryan Cohen wouldn’t mind too. Though he’s a polite Canadian and would probably just let everyone know that he’s not really mad, just disappointed. But me? I’m an Angry American and I say: Block the fucking doors and windows and light that shit up. So maybe this epistle will be useful for your Think Young(TM) project and cause you to reflect a bit more on what’s really going on out there with this whole GME thing and the likely illegal shorting that has driven the short percentage of float to these insane levels, drawing in new retail shorts too stupid to know what’s even happening. Or maybe it wont cause you to reflect in the slightest (count me as one of those cynical types that see your overtures to WSB as a transparent play for greater market share from the Young Crowd since your old-ass audience is dying and/or switching to bonds). But in a few months when all the Billy Ray Valentines and Louis Winthorpes assembled here are toasting each other in stupid shirts on a white-sand beach somewhere, we do not want you to look back on your knee-jerk boomer-ass dismissal of GME and your Useful Idiot blathering with that same tinge of regret and longing you feel when you look at a pre-Client 9 picture of you and your old roomie: warm-toes-and-hosiery-enthusiast E. Spitzer, Esq. In conclusion: GME = Blockbuster comparisons are for Simps and Corrupt Short-and-Distorters. Don’t be like them, Jim. And to my Rocket Children: the only weapon we wield in this stupid game is Diamond Hands with a float like this. Toughen the fuck up. And Happy Holidays everyone. --CPT Hubbard TL/DR: Jim Cramer likes farm-based idioms and apparently being a useful idiot to scummy short selling hedge funds. DD on the GME turnaround is solid and overleveraged short sellers should be shitting themselves. Ryan Cohen, our polite, hard-working Canadian benefactor is about to rip all our fucking faces off and trigger a MOASS. Probably even by early March, if that time is good for you (he’ll text before he comes). And fuck infinite regress: It’s rockets all the way down here. 🚀🚀🚀 Now: diamond hands, motherfuckers. **This is a shitpost and is only to be used as investment and life advice for Mr. Jim Cramer, Esq.
Hey guys wanted to share my little journey with you guys, leave this up as a milestone marker, and ask you guys for your opinions on what i should do next. August 2020 i got an email from Americas card room trying to get me to come back and play on their site. They credited my account $10 and i had another $5 in unclaimed rakeback from many years ago I was bored so i decided "I'm not going to deposit shit because last time i went on tilt and busted my account on roulette/ blackjack after a couple bad beats and i know thats what they want, but i will take this $15 and play 2nl seriously and try to run it up with strict bankroll management only moving up with 25+ buy ins and avoid roulette/BJ no matter what" I started playing 2 tables (then 4 later on) of 2nl August 27th 2020 and played well/ ran really well (70bb/100 for 5,000+ hands was pretty swell)... 2nl Graph https://ibb.co/qFtMzn0 Once i quickly hit $125 for 25 buy ins i moved up to 5nl (and only played 2nl after that when i was bored/ tired at 4am to not screw my roll up too much) 5nl graph https://ibb.co/sgLwLxj Once i had 30 buy ins i moved up to 10nl fast fold and regular tables where i have been since, surprisingly my fast fold win rate is even slightly higher than my 10nl reg tables (both 10-11bb/100). I'm now playing 12 regular tables at a time 8x 6 max + 4x 9max and still winning pretty solid. 10nl reg+blitz graph https://ibb.co/V9LMyqh Total graph as of today $1,645 total https://ibb.co/z6YbH84 Best part is no matter how tilted i got i stayed off of roulette and blackjack for 5 months now and learned its ok to go to sleep down $ and not to chase losses. Also like 80% of these hands were played at horrible hours like 12am-6am eastern so the games were way tougher, the few times i played at prime time hours on a friday i won like 10 buy ins in 3 hours 12 tabling ... https://ibb.co/Yt8bnb0 So the question is where do i go from here? Im having fun at 10nl and have easily made The Beast promo for free $50 every week for the past month. I'm rolled for 25nl, but i wonder if maybe i should do 1 month of a poker training site first... For me which would u guys suggest (i only play cash games) 1 month of Upswing or 1 month of Johnathan Littles pokercoaching.com site? I think he has a 30 day cash game challenge course. Both are $99 Anyone know how much harder 25nl on ACR is than 10nl blitz? Should i maybe withdraw some and go to Ignition instead for 25nl +sign up bonus?
JANUARY UPDATE: The Most Important Turning Twenty-One Ever!
I have never been so excited to turn twenty-one again; 2021 that is! "There is an end to everything, to good things as well." The proverb originated around 1374. The verbiage has since been reconfigured and is more commonly known now as, "All good things must come to an end." Oddly enough, the proverb spawned little more than twenty years after approximately twenty-five million humans succumbed to the "Black Death." 2041 Proverb Prediction "Six feet mother-fucker!" There is an end to everything, which means bad things end as well. In one-hundred years, children will still have twenty year old textbooks, and they detail the unpleasantness 2020 bestowed upon humanity. The Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID19) pandemic drastically impacted, and devastated the entire globe. The United State of America (USA) also ceased this opportunity, in true USA fashion, to one-up other countries. World Series of Poker (Texas Holdem) Flop Russia: Call! China: I will raise one Global Pandemic. USA: Call! Russia: Call! Turn Russia: Call! China: Call! USA: I will raise some Political Consternation. Russia: Call! China: Call! River Russia: Call! China: Call! USA: I would like to raise some Police Brutality, Racial Inequality, Rioting, Looting, and Bombing In Nashville, Tennessee. Russia: Fold. China: I don't think we have a Nashville. Call! Dear 2020, I mean this with all sincerity; Go Fuck Yourself! What a topsy-turvey year 2020 has been. I vividly recall my Mother being disappointed with me during my teenage years. The one thing that irritated my Mother the most was me remaining in bed after noon. That very same action in 2020 is your commitment to the preservation of humanity. Lazy sleepers, like Kelly, are finally doing their part to save the world. Dear Reader, have you ever "coughed" to muffle a fart? I have. Now, I try to not-shit-my-pants when I forcefully thrust a fart out my balloon-knot in attempt to obscure a cough. If that's not "topsy-turvey" then I don't know what is. Just last night, I found out that two of my closest friends tested positive for COVID19. Yup, they are both fucking zombies. They have both lost their sense of smell, and taste. They were both clearly miserable, and I offered them my sincerest thoughts and prayers. Then Sloppy took the wheel and went hunting for laughs. Ring. Ring. Ring Mark: Hello! Sloppy: How you feeling buddy? Mark: Not good. Not good at all brother. I feel like a freight train hit me. I can't smell anything, and I lost my sense of taste. I can't even walk up the stairs. Sloppy: How is the rest of the family? Mark: Casey has the Rona too? Sloppy: That's horrible man. I am really sorry to hear this. Look at the bright side though. Mark: (Laughing) The bright side? I am fucking dying here, and you are telling me to "look at the bright side?" Sloppy: Yeah!?! Dude, you can totally ask Casey to do Ass-To-Mouth (ATM) now. This COVID thing may be a blessing in disguise. She won't taste a thing! Mark: (Cough-Laughing Hysterically) I don't know if she'd go for that buddy. Sloppy: Not unless you reciprocate. Tell her you're gonna tongue-punch her fart-box first! Lube that puppy up. Mark: (More Hysterical Cough-Laughing) Casey, NICKNAME has to ask you something. Casey: (Happy) Hey NICKNAME. What do you need to ask me? Mark: Look. Mark may, or may not be interested in an Ass-To-Mouth session, and your lack of taste will aid in this effort. Casey: (Laughing) Gross. No! NO, NO, NO. Sloppy: Mark said he'd tongue-punch your fart-box first though! Casey: (Cough Laughing) FART-BOX?!? (Laughing) Oh! Marky, you're gonna pleasure my fart-box? Mark: (Background) Never said that! Dear Reader, I am not saying you have to lick a butthole when life gives you lemons! What's the harm though, especially if you cannot taste the lemons, or wrinkle-grommet? Nail Salons, Hair Salons, and Waxing Salons have since been closed, and it is starting to get hairy out there. Literally, it's hairy out there, and I think the vagina-raptor next door feeds of the hairy chaos. Furthermore, I don't recall hearing any sirens, but Category-Five Human-Tornadoes hit every grocery store in my immediate area. I have personally witnessed geriatric humans physically squabble over toilet paper. Both Old Man River's probably believe Twitter to be a bird watching site, but they knew how to swing canes. Honestly, I was disappointed the fight was broken up, but I was more disappointed nobody was fighting over Depends. Dear Reader, the Moderators and I are taking 2021 to the extreme. We are going to make our own rules this year. The "Awareness Month" website I utilize is lacking for January. My fellow Moderators were on point with their suggestion. January 1ST, 2021 is National Hangover Day. Dear Readers, one "National Hangover Day" is not going to erase the misery that 2020 brought us. My fellow Moderators decided to extend "National Hangover Day" to "National Hangover Month!" I have never felt prouder of my fellow Moderators. Open Letter Dear Liver and Kidneys, I am coming for you! Cheers, FUckers Everywhere Dear Readers, I again, would like to say thank you for subscribing to FUckery. I am still baffled with the original growth. FUckery reached one-thousand FUckers in six days, and we have been rock-steady since then. Frankly, I have no ambition of transitioning into a "Super Sub" with millions of subscribers. It is my personal belief that the majority of FUckers are committed, and continually contribute to FUckery. FUckery is more of a living room, and less mall-like, and I enjoy it. I have little to offer than a humble thanks, but I do sincerely appreciate the contributions. There is typically a more serious note in the Monthly Post, and I will not forgo that nearly five month tradition. The past year (Almost There) was anything but pleasurable. I will forgo talking about struggling businesses, or the fiscal burden. They are very well known. I would like to take a moment to talk about social interaction. Generally speaking, the majority of us are very social creatures. This includes the strange introverts such as myself. However, this lack of human interaction is noticeable. I have not traveled much lately. I was never at odds when a deployment interrupted my holiday plans. This past year was different. I was anxious and excited to bond with friends and family during the holidays, but that never came to fruition. However, I am not as disappointed as I imagined. I have found a very close circle of internet strangers. Thank you for being a friend and a confidant (Golden Girls.) Please be cognizant of these interactions. I know they have helped me out tremendously, and I know that I have done my best to help others out. I would like to continue that tradition this month. No, I am not talking about pushing Sally into the ocean so she is properly "fucked" either. I am asking that you continue to be vigilant regarding our fellow FUckers. I hate it, and it is certainly cliche, but, "If you see something, say something." Believe it or not, Ken and I were friends last year. Maybe not friends, but we were at least cordial with each other. There is only one thing Ken ever said that made me laugh, and I think it is appropriate that I share it with you now. I think it is important to start our next twenty-first Birthday with at least a slight chuckle. Ken: Karen is all pissed off today. Sloppy: That sucks. Why is she angry though? Ken: She had a poor experience on the bus. Sloppy: Aren't any experience on public transportation poor? Ken: I suppose, but this time it was a bit different. Sloppy: Really? What happened? Ken: She was on her way to an appointment to have her mustache and back hair waxed off when the bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I have ever seen." Sloppy: He actually said that? Ken: That's what she tells me. Sloppy: That's horrible. Ken: But wait! It gets worse. Sloppy: Not possible. Ken: She then sits down, and tells the guy next to her that the bus driver insulted her. The guy said it would be best if she addressed this issue before she had another Herpes flareup. Sloppy: So what happened? Ken: She got up to go address the issue with the bus driver, and the man sitting beside her said, "Go on, I will hold your monkey for you." Sloppy: Did he hold the monkey? Ken Storms Away Yes Dear Reader, you've got me again. That was a joke. I don't think Karen rides the bus, and we both know Ken and I were never friends. I refuse to back-down on the other important information such as, but not limited to back hair, Herpes, or having ugly children. I also realize I have been lacking on recognizing FUckers. Besides drinking more alcohol, my other New Year's resolution will be to get my shit together, and do some Moderating. I still need to recognize people for November, and December as well. I will get there eventually though. Here's to the fantastic start to a wonderful New Year. Be safe, and be blessed. The garage is always open should anyone want to drink beer, and watch me totally not-fuck with my neighbors. Be forewarned though! I stopped drinking beer for good. I now only drink beer for evil, and that evilness will be directed at the assholes next door. Happy 2021 Cheers, Sloppy
The Year is 2006. Online poker is thriving. Partypoker has the highest traffic of any poker site but Pokerstars are gaining new players quickly with aggressive marketing strategies. Lots of poker sites are investing heavily into marketing and one key place to channel their advertising budget is TV. New innovations, improved graphics and increasing funding meant that poker TV is at an all-time peak of popularity. 40% of the the 2006 WSOP Main Event’s attendance is from online sites and poker sites are offering large amounts of cash for players on TV to wear an advertising patch. According to Dan Goldman’s blog, Pokerstars spent over $730,000 on WSOP players’ gift bags. The WSOP is seeing more TV time and this year the $50k HORSE event is added to the TV schedule alongside the WSOP main event. This year’s $50k WSOP HORSE final table saw some huge names including Chip Reese, Phil Ivey, Patrik Antonius and Doyle Brunson.
The Path of a New Player
In Finland, Mikael Paisting is watching the 2006 WSOP on TV. He enjoys watching poker broadcasts and is fascinated by the game. It’s a very common story for players to catch an interest by watching poker TV and sign up with to one of the many poker sites available. He chooses to deposit on Partypoker. Mikael is a committed learner and player. He reads several poker books from well-known authors such as Dan Harrington and David Sklansky. He also watches many training videos. Like many players starting in online poker he begins at the microstakes cash tables. Microstakes are a rite of passage for many online poker players. The limits range from 2nl to 10nl, so the standard buy in is $2-10. Some will play microstakes for weeks, months or even years improving their game and increasing their bankroll so they can move up to small stakes, 25nl and above. Some players see the microstakes as a job and play as many tables as they can to eke out a living wage. Some players have never played microstakes and skip it entirely for higher stakes. Mikael starts to play and doesn’t do well, this is normal for many beginners, even those who study. However, over the next few weeks Mikael continues to lose. Months go by and Mikael still hasn’t turned a profit. He discovers problems with tilt and often takes his frustration out in the chat box. An example of his rage:
Paisting:THAT IS NOT NORMAL OMG!! JUST UNBELIEVABLE
Mikael doesn’t play 10nl very often and spends the majority of him time playing 2nl and 5nl. He continues to multitable cash games on Partypoker but he just can’t win. He starts to lose big, thousands of dollars, mostly at 2nl which is known as the softest cash game on the internet.
Getting Noticed
Mikael continues to play long sessions over the next five years, he claims to play 5-7 days a week for 4-8 hours a day. By 2011 he had played 2 and a half million hands while playing 6 to 9 cash tables at one time. Mikael is still mostly playing 2nl and is down a colossal amount: $7000. Mikael has been suffering from major tilt problems and has a very wild and noticeable style of playing microstakes. He starts to get noticed on 2+2, a very popular poker forum. A player posts a link to his PTR graph, a site which tracks online cash games. They are shocked at his losses over so many hands:
yegor: wow such a massive fail he played 2.5m hands at 2nl and 5nl and he's losing Donkey111: I remember him from my 2NL days. often goes on some massive tilt sessions and spews like 20 BI in 500 hands by shoving any 2 cards preflop.
He even gets hate from his PTR account where he is ridiculed on his profile comments, he also replies:
VELAir26: Spend your time with family, friends or other hobbies instead Paisting: im fine with this you stupid idiot
Mikael continues to play his reckless and tilting style over the years. By 2014, he has been playing for 8 years and is down five figures at microstakes; he starts to look for excuses for how much he has lost. He posts a thread on 2+2 detailing how he feels that he wins at the start of the month and then inevitably starts to lose. He asks how he can take legal action against Partypoker. His fellow posters tease him:
5thStreethog: Did the thought ever cross your mind that it might be possible that the reason you cant beat NL2 in over a million hands might be because you arent very good at poker?
An Attempt at Redemption
2019 comes and MikaelPaisting has been playing microstakes for 13 years, and steadily losing a lot of money. He got a new computer in late 2018 and has been grinding away on it. Mikael is getting mentioned more on 2+2 and he is well known on the tables of Partypoker as he drops stack after stack. Many players on Partypoker furiously try to get on his tables to call his tilt shoves; when Mikael is present other player’s stacks can get as high as $100 at 2nl as he shoves buy in after buy in to button steals. Some were said to be using seating scripts to instantly be placed on a table with Paisting. At this point he is feeling very low. But despite years of losing money and insane tilting he is determined to improve. Mikael is aware of his losses and has a fierce desire to make back the money he has lost since he’s started tracking on his new PC. He decides get help and he looks to 2+2, the very same forum that had mocked him over the last decade. He logs in as Paisting, his last name. He starts a new thread, types out a post and chooses a title: 'Biggest loser in online poker history wants to grind $16k'. He posts this thread in the sub-forum Poker Goals & Challenges, a place where players post their goals and try to update their thread with their progress. He posts graphs of his losses from his database on his PC. He starts the thread by posting some shocking graphs of $8700 lost at 2nl, $6000 lost at 5nl and $800 lost at 10nl. At 2nl he had an incredible rate of -170BB each 100 hands. The final graph of his microstakes losses posted show $15,000 lost over 365,000 hands. An average loss of $75 a day. The 2+2 poker community are stunned by the graphs:
HorseofHell: I'm actually shocked it's possible to lose this much at 2nl Mahsjdj: This can't be real can it?
Mikael posts about the hard work he’s put into poker and mentions that has watched videos, read many instructional books and is honest with his astounding losses:
Paisting: I've lost literally all my money including all my life savings to online poker. I want to try one last time to win those money back and little bit of extra. That's why $16k. What I need is support and guiding.
The community react to his plan to grind all the money back at microstakes:
Fodersneso: This is really disturbing. Why on earth would you try to grind this all back? Losing at this rate is traumatizing. You're going to grind out 3000 BIs @nl5 now or what's the plan? Really curious how you think you can turn this pile of insanity around...
The community show disbelief and doubt that his story is real but several posters claim that what he says is true. He has been active in Finnish forums for more than 10 years and players starts to share hand histories and stories about his playstyle. He posts about his regret of picking the game up:
Paisting: Never had a winning week in 13 years. If it were possible to go back ten years I would say to myself "Do not never play single one hand!"
He then goes on to tell 2+2 posters a disturbing source of his funds for his staggering 2nl losses:
Paisting: I've taken huge amount of fast loans.
He sheds a little light into his personal life:
Paisting: My age and relationships has nothing to do with this. But not working, no kids or wife and middle aged. What I have is time to play. I get a little unemployment benefit that goes straight to the rent. My eating costs are very little because I'm only eating one meal per day. There are times when I must take more fast loans if need of clothes, unexpected bills, sickness etc. That's why getting back those $16k is so important to me. No disability, never played anything else than poker or lottery when pots are bigger, maybe 5 times in year. Playing poker does not give me any excitement or I'm not cheering won pots.
Posters try to give him strategy advice, they try to persuade him time and time again that shoving 100+ blinds to a minsteal isn’t a good idea. Some others question his sanity and tell him to quit:
FazendeiroBH: Not trolling, I´m actually serious here. You lost an absurd amount of money playing the easiest stake in the world (nl2). You keep losing doing the same faulty strategy. No book ever said you should jam 100 bb preflop rfi. It´s quite obvious there is something wrong with you and your brain, and the more you delay seeking professional care for your mental problems, the worst it´s gonna be for you.
Paitsing updates his thread with highlight hands from his cash sessions. He seems to cherry pick hands to post and will only post hands where he loses all ins as a 70-95% favourite. He delusion leads him to blame the site, his luck and the other micro grinders. He often writes about specific players and gives his opinion on how badly they play. He often quotes their HUD stats and wide calling ranges while ignoring that they are probably adjusting heavily to his own playstyle. Some time passes and he discloses that he has lost almost $500 at 2nl since starting the thread three weeks ago. He updates his followers with the first monthly graph of the thread from his 2nl play in April 2019. He plays for 90 hours in April and his average daily loss is $50, 25 buy ins each day. 2+2 players start to analyse the graph. They notice that there are several breakeven spots where he may be playing reasonable poker but also huge 150 buy in downswings, some drops in the graph are so steep that he is losing about a buy in every 5 hands for periods of hundreds of hands. He says:
Paitsing: Only trying to get my money back from guys who are playing nl2 forever and never moving up. When I started poker long time ago I tought it's exciting to read watch videos if it gives me more money. After 2 years figured out it's just sitting on computer like in work and if I'm someday +-0 never ever playing this stupid game. This is like war.
The thread goes on like this for almost a year. The thread repeats itself over and over. He will post a few selective bad beats, ignore good advice and berate his microstakes tablemates. A fellow microstakes grinder makes his first appearance in the thread: 6betpot. 6Betpot would play at Paisting's tables and often win many buy ins, 6Betpot would go on to post highly contrasting hand histories to the bad beats that Paisting posts, he would also reveal Paisting’s preflop 3 bet is around 30%. Some players would criticize 6Betpot for predatory behavior but 6Betpot would maintain that he would try to persuade Paisting to stop playing in a spewy manner. Someone asks to see the hands and 6Betpot posts some, here is one:
888 Poker - $0.02 NL (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players BTN: 250.5 BB SB (Paisting): 425.5 BB BB: 101.5 BB UTG: 100 BB MP: 106.5 BB CO: 84.5 BB Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) BTN has AdQs fold, fold, fold, BTN raises to 2 BB, Paisting raises to 425.5 BB and is all-in, fold, BTN calls 248.5 BB and is all-in Flop: (502 BB, 2 players) Kh4s4c Turn: (502 BB, 2 players) 3h River: (502 BB, 2 players) Jc BTN shows AdQs (One Pair, Fours)
Paisting wins 471 BB< Later in the thread Paisting would reveal his line of thinking during hands like these; a poster asked why he though 3 betting hands like J5 was a good idea. Paisting replies:
Paisting: If you don't want them to run over you, you must do something. Blind play is very important and you can't let them run over you. When 80+ habit stealer gets shoves straight to his face he must learn at some point that I'm not giving blinds.
Many tried to reason with him and show him clearly why this was wrong, he not only refuted their strategy but would argue against them, often citing his opponent’s HUD stats. Later on in the thread Mikael posts horrifying news. He explains that he didn’t transfer hands from his old computer to his new computer. The graphs he posted at the start of the thread only showed the tip of the iceberg. He reveals that $16k loss from the graphs was from just 7 months of play!:
Paisting: That 16k is in 209 days and in about 1 year as you can see from the first post. Big part of my losings has left to hard drive of my old crashed computer. That's past and I don't wanna think about it anymore. Main goal is this database I have here in my computer. But yes what I have been repeating many times, moving to 888 poker has sky rocketed my losses although I can play only 6 tables compared to party's 9 tables.
Posters speculate that his lifetime microstakes losses probably amount to six figures:
SpinMeRightRound: I mean if he's lost $20k in the last year, and he's been doing this for more than 10 years, he may have lost $200k or more.
In late 2019, Paisting claims that there was a ring of players were colluding against him. He goes on to say that the new site he plays on, 888, were asking for hand histories from certain players. He showed emails of his communications and posted that 8 players had had their account frozen. He also shows screenshots that his account is temporarily frozen during the investigation. Posters speculated:
CrunchyBlack: Pretty sure they think you're chip dumping lmao .isolated: They think you're chip dumping to him. Funniest. Thing. Ever. The irony here is nearly palpable.
2020: The Struggle Continues
At the end of the year Paisting posts his 2019 graphs. He says that he hasn’t had a winning week yet and he’s still committed to making back 2019’s losses. His graphs show down 12k from 320k hands of 2nl in 2019. In January 2020 he continues to post regularly and makes comments about him hunting down players worse than him:
Paisting: When you hunt really bad player (yes enzet there are plenty of worst player than me on 888 look those hand histories really carefully) hours and hours and wait good hand just to site let them to suck out it is affecting your game really badly.
He posts about his continuing struggle to win back the $16k:
Paisting: I have years dedicated for this project and anything back from that amount is winning to me. At this point it’s impossible to make any profit because of horrible suckouts.
He also posts about the high interest loans he’s taken out:
Paisting: I have huge amounts of loans that are basically all taken for poker. I don't eat much and all my other costs are very low. And because of those loans I must get back so much money that is possible and these suck outs must stop.
February 2020 arrives and he posts his January chart, the worst posted yet. He takes a gigantic loss of $1,550 at an eye-watering rate of 210bb/100 hands. Often when he posts monthly graphs he would highlight that he ran a few buy ins below EV when he would be down hundreds of buy ins for the month. The months pass and the cycle continues. Paisting posts the usual bad beats, posters berate him and try to give him advice and Paisting resists their efforts. Here is one of many similar hands posted in February:
March comes and the regular monthly graph is posted. The uploaded graph shows is he down $1900 or 950 buy ins for last month. Mikael refutes that he is a gambling addict:
Paisting: 888 has given many 10 dollar bonuses to me play slots. I have never played them and in fact my account has 20 dollars freeplay bonus to play their slots. I will not use those money now or in future. So that's gambling addict to you.
April and May roll by and the monthly graphs are posted. He played fewer hands than normal, 43,000. But is down $1,250, all at 2nl. In June he posts the usual monthly graph with -$1900 and it’s the lowest win rate he’s posted before, a colossal -335b/100hands, the graph has some alarmingly steep downswings with one section where he loses $500 in 1000 hands. That’s a loss of one buy in every 4 hands. Getting these monthly updates shows how quickly he loses money at 2nl and collaborates with earlier estimations that he is likely down more than $100k at microstakes over the past 14 years. Approximations indicate that Mikael has paid over $20k in rake to poker sites over the years.
The End, for Now
Mikael is still playing microstakes to this day. His poker story isn’t over yet but so far it is a sad one. My previous two Tales from 2+2 stories had mostly happy endings but not this one. This story is like a car falling down a cliff and it hasn’t hit the bottom yet. Let this story be a lesson that poker isn’t for everyone. Players with addiction or mental issues should reconsider if the game is best for their lives. Serious poker players should consider bankroll management and how tilt affects their winrate if they do choose to play. Seek help if you think you or others need it. Original thread (Still active)
Jack O'Donnell (August 25, 1926 - December 28, 2020)
JACK WEBB O’DONNELL August 25, 1926 - December 28, 2020 Jack was born on Aug. 25, 1926, in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, to Earl and Irene (Webb) O’Donnell of Tacoma, WA. He died peacefully at Legacy Salmon Creek Hospital, Vancouver, WA, with his two sons, Steve and Ryan by his bedside. Jack’s spirit departed our earth on Monday, Dec. 28, 2020, at 10:42 a.m. His death was the result of complications from prostate cancer, congestive heart failure and diabetes. Jack was 94 years, 4 months, and 2 days! Jack attended Lowell Elementary in Tacoma during the Great Depression and then Cheltenham High School in Elkins Park, PA, when his father was transferred to Philadelphia during his 16th year, the summer of ’42, he came back to the west coast by train and took a job position with the Forest Service as a ‘fire watcher’ in Central Oregon. He manned a fire tower with no TV or phone and received supplies on a weekly basis. At age 17, Jack enlisted in the US Navy and was sent to the Pacific Theater during the last two years of World War II. He served on the USS Norton Sound which was a tender ship to the Naval Aircraft carriers in the region. After the war, Jack returned to the Pacific Northwest and attended the University of Washington on the GI Bill. While at UW, he met Thelma Kathleen Spargur. They married June 30, 1949, in the Episcopal Church in Renton, WA. Thelma’s family had come to the Pacific NW during the depression from Missouri to Bremerton. After graduating from Bremerton High School, Thelma worked at Best Shoe Store in downtown Seattle which would become Nordstrom’s Best. Thelma passed on March 22, 2013, in Vancouver. Jack’s first professional job was with Mutual Loan Finance Co., where he was an assistant manager in Seattle. They built a home on Mercer Island and had two sons who were both born in Seattle. Jack was transferred to Vancouver in 1953 to become an office manager for Mutual Loan Finance Co. Jack and Thelma quickly immersed themselves into the Vancouver community, joining St Luke’s Episcopal Church, the Vancouver Jaycees, the Hazel Dell Merchants Association, and Royal Oaks Country Club (1962). Jack also became a member of the Rotary Club of Vancouver where he was a member for 20-plus years and believed in and lived the Four Way Test of Rotary. Jack’s career spanned five decades and several career industries. After 10 years in the finance industry he ventured out and started American Pacific Plywood and Pay N Pak, selling plywood, building materials, lighting and hardware. After 10 years in the home supply business, he joined Robert Coy Construction (CASCO). He was the company’s site manager and lead salesperson that built single family homes in the Hazel Dell Lakeshore area. After 12 years of home building, Jack founded and owned Vancouver Realty until retiring in 1996. Jack and his wife of 64 years lived a wonderful full life in Vancouver. Through their church, membership associations and careers, they met the most wonderful friends of the community. They played tennis, golfed and enjoyed many boating / skiing outings. Became snowbirds during retirement days to Palm Desert, CA. They traveled extensively around the world with his business associate, Robert Coy and his wife Dolores. They lived in Hazel Dell during the sixties on Ludlum Hill and enjoyed many neighborhood activities. Jack had a special place in his heart for the aloha life. He started up a plywood warehouse in Honolulu, HI, in 1964 and had a timeshare on Maui during the 1990s. Jack was involved for decades with a friendly monthly poker group. He was predeceased in the group by Bob Coy, Sam Jones, Bob Wiesmann, Leon Pagel and Mayor Jim Justin. Charlie Goodson is currently the last man standing from this infamous poker group. Jack dedicated his life to his family! He was instrumental in hosting our annual O’Donnell Family Reunion at Gearhart, OR, where golf, beach outings, and celebrating the 4th of July with crab feed, bonfire, and fireworks! Jack is survived by his two sons, Steve O’Donnell (Julie Harper) of Gig Harbor, WA, Ryan O’Donnell (Connie Collins) of Vancouver; four grandchildren, Joe O’Donnell (April Reiter, two children, Jack and Amelia) of Gig Harbor, Jessica O’Donnell (Max Galesi) of Bellevue, WA, Sara Elkins (Ethan Elkins, three children Mason, Emerson and Marley), Chris O’Donnell (Cate Hamilton, four children Gwendolyn, Natalie, Colin and Marlow) of Fairview, TX. He is also survived by his brother, Richard O’Donnell (Mary McDonald) of Bellevue; nephew, Sean O’Donnell (Shelly, two children, Logan & Maria) of Seattle; niece, Tammy Cowan (Tom Cowan) of Lopez Island, WA. The family will hold a Celebration of Life for Jack W. O’Donnell in late spring of this year at St Luke’s Episcopal Church in the Fellowship Hall Vancouver. In lieu of flowers, please consider a remembrance to a charity of your choice or the Vancouver Cancer Society. God Bless All of You! Please sign his guest book @ www.vancouverfuneral chapel.net and share a memory @ www.columbian.com/obits. source: http://obits.columbian.com/obituaries/columbian/obituary.aspx?n=jack-webb-o-donnell&pid=197473314
The Year is 2006. Online poker is thriving. Partypoker has the highest traffic of any poker site but Pokerstars are gaining new players quickly with aggressive marketing strategies. Lots of poker sites are investing heavily into marketing and one key place to channel their advertising budget is TV. New innovations, improved graphics and increasing funding meant that poker TV is at an all-time peak of popularity. The World Series of Poker (WSOP) is the biggest event in the poker calendar, it features many poker tournaments culminating in the prestigious $10k Main Event tournament. The Main Event is a popular televised tournament. 40% of the the 2006 WSOP Main Event’s attendance is from online sites and poker sites are offering large amounts of cash for players on TV to wear an advertising patch. According to Dan Goldman’s blog, Pokerstars spent over $730,000 on WSOP players’ gift bags. The WSOP is seeing more TV time and this year an extra event is added to the TV schedule alongside the WSOP main event.
The Path of a New Player
In Finland, Mikael Paisting is watching the 2006 WSOP on TV. He enjoys watching poker broadcasts and is fascinated by the game. It’s a very common story for players to catch an interest by watching poker TV and sign up with to one of the many poker sites available. He chooses to deposit on Partypoker. Mikael is a committed learner and player. He reads several poker books from well-known authors. He also watches many training videos. Like many players starting in online poker he begins at the microstakes cash tables. The standard buy in for microstakes online is $2-10, if a player plays microstakes for an hour they would probably win or lose a few dollars. 2nl means the big blind is 2 cents and standard buy in is $2, the standard buy in at 5nl is $5 and 10nl is $10. Microstakes are a rite of passage for many online poker players. Some will play microstakes for weeks, months or even years improving their game and increasing their bankroll so they can move up to small stakes, 25nl and above. Some players see the microstakes as a job and play as many tables as they can to eke out a living wage. Some players have never played microstakes and skip it entirely for higher stakes. Mikael starts to play and doesn’t do well, this is normal for many beginners, even those who study. However, over the next few weeks Mikael continues to lose. Months go by and Mikael still hasn’t turned a profit. He discovers problems with tilt (when players get angry and it negatively affects their play) and often takes his frustration out in the chat box. An example of his rage:
Paisting:THAT IS NOT NORMAL OMG!! JUST UNBELIEVABLE
Mikael doesn’t play 10nl very often and spends the majority of him time playing 2nl and 5nl, buying in for $2-5 at a time. He continues to multitable cash games on Partypoker but he just can’t win. He starts to lose big, thousands of dollars, mostly at 2nl which is known as the softest cash game on the internet.
Getting Noticed
Mikael continues to play long sessions over the next five years, he claims to play 5-7 days a week for 4-8 hours a day. By 2011 he had played 2 and a half million hands while playing 6 to 9 cash tables at one time. Mikael is still mostly playing 2nl and is down a colossal amount: $7000. Remember that he is mostly playing 2nl, with a buy in of $2, even losing $1000 at 2nl is unheard of. Mikael has been suffering from major tilt problems and has a very wild and noticeable style of playing microstakes. He starts to get noticed on 2+2, a very popular poker forum. A player posts a link to his PTR graph, a site which tracks online cash games. They are shocked at his losses over so many hands:
yegor: wow such a massive fail he played 2.5m hands at 2nl and 5nl and he's losing Donkey111: I remember him from my 2NL days. often goes on some massive tilt sessions and spews like 20 BI [buy ins] in 500 hands by shoving any 2 cards preflop.
He even gets hate from his PTR account where he is ridiculed on his profile comments, he also replies:
VELAir26: Spend your time with family, friends or other hobbies instead Paisting: im fine with this you stupid idiot
Mikael continues to play his reckless and tilting style over the years. By 2014, he has been playing for 8 years and is down five figures at microstakes; he starts to look for excuses for how much he has lost. He posts a thread on 2+2 detailing how he feels that he wins at the start of the month and then inevitably starts to lose. He asks how he can take legal action against Partypoker. His fellow posters tease him:
5thStreethog: Did the thought ever cross your mind that it might be possible that the reason you cant beat NL2 in over a million hands might be because you arent very good at poker?
An Attempt at Redemption
2019 comes and MikaelPaisting has been playing microstakes for 13 years, and steadily losing a lot of money. He got a new computer in late 2018 and has been grinding away on it. Mikael is getting mentioned more on 2+2 and he is well known on the tables of Partypoker as he drops stack after stack. Many players on Partypoker furiously try to get on his tables to call his tilt shoves; when Mikael is present other player’s stacks can get as high as $100 at 2nl as he shoves buy in after buy in in bad spots. Some were said to be using seating scripts to instantly be placed on a table with Paisting. At this point he is feeling very low. But despite years of losing money and insane tilting he is determined to improve. Mikael is aware of his losses and has a fierce desire to make back the money he has lost since he’s started tracking on his new PC. He decides get help and he looks to 2+2, the very same forum that had mocked him over the last decade. He logs in as Paisting, his last name. He starts a new thread, types out a post and chooses a title: 'Biggest loser in online poker history wants to grind $16k'. He posts this thread in the sub-forum Poker Goals & Challenges, a place where players post their goals and try to update their thread with their progress. He posts graphs of his losses from his database on his PC. He starts the thread by posting some shocking graphs of $8700 lost at 2nl, $6000 lost at 5nl and $800 lost at 10nl. At 2nl he had an incredible rate of losing an average of $75 a day. The final graph of his microstakes losses posted show $15,000 lost over 365,000 hands. The 2+2 poker community are stunned by the graphs:
HorseofHell: I'm actually shocked it's possible to lose this much at 2nl Mahsjdj: This can't be real can it?
Mikael posts about the hard work he’s put into poker and mentions that has watched videos, read many instructional books and is honest with his astounding losses:
Paisting: I've lost literally all my money including all my life savings to online poker. I want to try one last time to win those money back and little bit of extra. That's why $16k. What I need is support and guiding.
The community react to his plan to grind all the money back at microstakes:
Fodersneso: This is really disturbing. Why on earth would you try to grind this all back? Losing at this rate is traumatizing. You're going to grind out 3000 BIs [buy ins] @nl5 now or what's the plan? Really curious how you think you can turn this pile of insanity around...
The community show disbelief and doubt that his story is real but several posters claim that what he says is true. He has been active in Finnish forums for more than 10 years and players starts to share hand histories and stories about his playstyle. He posts about his regret of picking the game up:
Paisting: Never had a winning week in 13 years. If it were possible to go back ten years I would say to myself "Do not never play single one hand!"
He then goes on to tell 2+2 posters a disturbing source of his funds for his staggering 2nl losses:
Paisting: I've taken huge amount of fast loans.
He sheds a little light into his personal life:
Paisting: My age and relationships has nothing to do with this. But not working, no kids or wife and middle aged. What I have is time to play. I get a little unemployment benefit that goes straight to the rent. My eating costs are very little because I'm only eating one meal per day. There are times when I must take more fast loans if need of clothes, unexpected bills, sickness etc. That's why getting back those $16k is so important to me. No disability, never played anything else than poker or lottery when pots are bigger, maybe 5 times in year. Playing poker does not give me any excitement or I'm not cheering won pots.
Posters try to give him strategy advice, they try to persuade him time and time again that his strategy isn't working. Some others question his sanity and tell him to quit:
FazendeiroBH: Not trolling, I´m actually serious here. You lost an absurd amount of money playing the easiest stake in the world (nl2). You keep losing doing the same faulty strategy. It´s quite obvious there is something wrong with you and your brain, and the more you delay seeking professional care for your mental problems, the worst it´s gonna be for you.
Paitsing updates his thread with highlight hands from his cash sessions. He seems to cherry pick hands to post and will only post hands where he loses all ins as a 70-95% favourite. He delusion leads him to blame the site, his luck and the other micro grinders. He often writes about specific players and gives his opinion on how badly they play. Some time passes and he discloses that he has lost almost $500 at 2nl since starting the thread three weeks ago. He updates his followers with the first monthly graph of the thread from his 2nl play in April 2019. He plays for 90 hours in April and his average daily loss is $50, 25 buyins each day. 2+2 players start to analyse the graph. They notice that there are several breakeven spots where he may be playing reasonable poker but also huge 150 buy in downswings, some drops in the graph are so steep that he is losing about a buy in every 5 hands for periods of hundreds of hands. He says:
Paitsing: Only trying to get my money back from guys who are playing nl2 forever and never moving up. When I started poker long time ago I tought it's exciting to read watch videos if it gives me more money. After 2 years figured out it's just sitting on computer like in work and if I'm someday +-0 never ever playing this stupid game. This is like war.
The thread goes on like this for almost a year. The thread repeats itself over and over. He will post a few selective bad beats, ignore good advice and berate his microstakes tablemates. A fellow microstakes grinder makes his first appearance in the thread: 6betpot. 6Betpot would play at Paisting's tables and often win many buy ins, 6Betpot would go on to post highly contrasting hand histories to the unlucky hands that Paisting posts which shows the hands Mikael was not posting. Some players would criticize 6Betpot for predatory behavior but 6Betpot would maintain that he would try to persuade Paisting to stop playing in a crazy manner. Many tried to reason with Mikael and show him clearly why this was wrong, he not only refuted their strategy but would argue against them. Later on in the thread Mikael posts horrifying news. He explains that he didn’t transfer hands from his old computer to his new computer. The graphs he posted at the start of the thread only showed the tip of the iceberg. He reveals that $16k loss from the graphs was from just 7 months of play!:
Paisting: That 16k is in 209 days and in about 1 year as you can see from the first post. Big part of my losings has left to hard drive of my old crashed computer. That's past and I don't wanna think about it anymore. Main goal is this database I have here in my computer. But yes what I have been repeating many times, moving to 888 poker has sky rocketed my losses although I can play only 6 tables compared to party's 9 tables.
Posters speculate that his lifetime microstakes losses probably amount to six figures:
SpinMeRightRound: I mean if he's lost $20k in the last year, and he's been doing this for more than 10 years, he may have lost $200k or more.
2020: The Struggle Continues
At the end of the year Paisting posts his 2019 graphs. He says that he hasn’t had a winning week yet and he’s still committed to making back 2019’s losses. His graphs show down 12k from 320k hands of 2nl in 2019. In January 2020 he continues to post regularly and makes comments about him hunting down players worse than him:
Paisting: When you hunt really bad player (yes enzet there are plenty of worst player than me on 888 look those hand histories really carefully) hours and hours and wait good hand just to site let them to suck out it is affecting your game really badly.
He posts about his continuing struggle to win back the $16k:
Paisting: I have years dedicated for this project and anything back from that amount is winning to me. At this point it’s impossible to make any profit because of horrible suckouts.
He also posts about the high interest loans he’s taken out:
Paisting: I have huge amounts of loans that are basically all taken for poker. I don't eat much and all my other costs are very low. And because of those loans I must get back so much money that is possible and these suck outs must stop.
February 2020 arrives and he posts his January chart, the worst posted yet. He takes a gigantic loss of $1,550 at an eye-watering rate. The months pass and the cycle continues. Paisting posts the usual unlucky hands, posters berate him and try to give him advice and Paisting resists their efforts. Here is one of many similar hands posted in February, this hand shows him making an awful play and raising huge with a weak hand:
March comes and the regular monthly graph is posted. The uploaded graph shows is he down $1900 or 950 buy ins for last month. Mikael refutes that he is a gambling addict:
Paisting: 888 has given many 10 dollar bonuses to me play slots. I have never played them and in fact my account has 20 dollars freeplay bonus to play their slots. I will not use those money now or in future. So that's gambling addict to you.
April and May roll by and the monthly graphs are posted. He played fewer hands than normal, 43,000. But is down $1,250, all at 2nl. In June he posts the usual monthly graph with -$1900 and it’s the lowest win rate he’s posted before, the graph has some alarmingly steep downswings with one section where he loses $500 in 1000 hands. That’s a loss of one buy in every 4 hands. Getting these monthly updates shows how quickly he loses money at 2nl and collaborates with earlier estimations that he is likely down more than $100k at microstakes over the past 14 years.
The End, for Now
Mikael is still playing microstakes to this day. His poker story isn’t over yet but so far it is a sad one. My previous two Tales from 2+2 stories had mostly happy endings but not this one. This story is like a car falling down a cliff and it hasn’t hit the bottom yet. Let this story be a lesson that poker isn’t for everyone. Players with addiction or mental issues should reconsider if the game is best for their lives. Serious poker players should consider bankroll management and how tilt affects their winrate if they do choose to play. Seek help if you think you or others need it. Original thread (Still active)
Small and Mid-stakes grinder from 2006/07 returns in 2020. My story
Hi all When I was 24 in 2006/07, I grinded a $50 deposit into playing NL200 and NL400 (i.e. 1/2 and 2/4 blinds), mostly on absolute poker, while I was at university. Obviously there are massive amounts of stories more impressive than mine, I thought some might get a kick out of what the games were like then vs now, and a few other thoughts. Why I started again in 2020 I was a bit bored in lockdown but really enjoyed playing poker with friends over work (on a free site with video calls, with settling up $ after) so downloaded some poker clients to see what the games were like nowadays. I ended up getting into it, signing up for upswing for 1 month and then RIO for 1 month (both good, but as you'll see below, probably not worth it given the state of the games). I started in 2020 with a $150 deposit, and after ~70k hands it's sitting at $1300. But the games are tough. I mean: insane. If you can't bet 25NL - don't feel bad. 25NL now is like 600NL used to be in 2006 and I'm not kidding. It's f'ing ridiculous. In 2006 if someone 3bet they had AK, AA, KK, or were a maniac. I watched hours of upswing and RIO, and I can't believe the level these guys are teaching at. Literally no one was talking about blockers in 2006 at midstakes. Like, if someone had said I should vary call/bluff based on the fact that my hand held a busted flush draw I would have thought they were some weirdo ASD rainman. People probably did that at high stakes but they didn't talk about it. Now, people seriously raise the question of whether the NL500 zoom is the toughest game on the planet, and it probably is! That is crazy! I was shit compared to good players, and I beat NL400 (non-zoom admittedly), for higher rates than the all but the very best players seem to beat NL500z! Games in 2006/07 Let's talk about winrates. We used to measure winrates in "pokertracker big bets", which were 2x blinds. So if you played NL400 (I did), beat the game for 4ptbb/100 (I did), before rakeback (which I also got at ~50% on absolutepoker (lol) with bonuses + rakeback when rake was lower than it is now (!)), it meant that pre-rakeback I was winning at what people call 8bb/100 now. And then I got prolly 1.5bb/100 from rakeback as well. I don't have my old pt database, but I have a saved old forum post when I "retired" (finished university, had 3 breakeven months at the 2007 games (lol), and got a professional job). Over the 2 years I played an average of 14 hours a week, and won (with rakeback and bonuses) a total of $99 400 USD, for an average of $68 USD per hour. Anyone remember that guy EMPIREMAKER2 or whatever his name was? Dude had played 100k hands at something like a 7ptbb/100 winrate (that is, 14bb/100) at NL$1000. Sure run hot but come on! Games in 2020 and why it doesn't make sense to start poker now Let's say the high point of poker for all but the very very best is the NL500zoom game. Let's say you can get 1k hands in per hour, and with bonuses, your winrate is 2bb/100. From my understanding, this is a very solid winrate at this game. That is 2 x 5 x 10 = $100 USD per hour. That is pathetic. You would have to have immense natural talent, insane dedication, and huge grinding to build a massive bankroll to be rolled for it, and your reward is $100USD per hour? Reality check: by the time you get to NL500zoom, it's probably harder than it is now, and the new game will be NL200zoom. Maybe you beat that for 4bb/100, and now your hourly rate is $80USD/hour. And what about next year? In 2006/07, people talked about the good old days of 2004. In 2011, they were talking about 2007. In 2014, they were talking about pre-black friday. Now people hark back to 2014. In 2025 they'll be talking about how easy the games were in 2020. If they're not it's because widespread real-time solvers have actually destroyed the game and it's just not being played. Look at Doug Polk. Dude is a legend but is struggling coming back playing NL400 HU(down 30 buyins?) to train for his match against DNegs. Mikka Anttonen put it well when he said (here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2POAdRI31vo) that it just doesn't make sense to start a poker career Conclusion I brokeven after bonuses/rakeback at my cashgames (NL10 to NL50) in 2020, but won a few MTTs which gave me all my profit. I'm not going to be playing any/much more online poker but I'll leave the money online in case I want to play some MTTs in a few weeks. My suggestion: - If you like poker as a hobby, softest online games are low stakes MTTs, so maybe fire up two of those if you're keen to play some poker. - Seems like live poker is way easier. Home games are still fun. - Cash games might be good for you if:
You live in a very poor country and incomes in the local economy are low AND
You are exceptionally smart and dedicated AND
You can't emigrate AND
You have exceptional mental strength/health and won't suffer the burnout all others would.
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OBLIGATORY FILLER MATERIAL – Just take a hard left at Daeseong-dong…1
“ROCK!?! Can you please answer your damned sat phone? It’s those two goofy characters from the Agency again.” Esme calls to me from the kitchen. “Yes, dear”, I reply wearily. I set down my cigar and drink. I really don’t want to talk with anyone right now. It’s been an absolute clusterfuck around these parts with that Cheap Mexican Beer Virus. Plus the alarm, panic, and the general lack of anything that could be considered scientific acumen by the locals, eastern ex-pats, or the majority of the western ex-pats. Airports shut down. Cab service not available. Stores victims of panic shopping. Asswipe is totally unavailable. Asswipes abound though. Curious. Hell, I want this kind of crap, I’ll move back to Houston during hurricane season. Then there’s the ‘Ministry-of-medicine-we-learned-from-Dr. Nick Riviera’. “Social distancing.” What a jolly joke. Queueing here is more like piglets vying for a teat. Viruses can’t survive over a meter in the open air? Pshaw. “Depending on the material and the conditions, human coronaviruses can remain infectious from 2 hours to 9 days: “Human coronaviruses can remain infectious on inanimate surfaces at room temperature for up to 9 days. At a temperature of 30°C [86°F] or more, the duration of persistence is shorter.” [Epidemiology and Infectious Medicine Quarterly, Q1, 2020].” Also, the airborne spread has not been reported for HCoV-19 (SARS-2) and it is not believed to be a major driver of transmission based on available evidence. That mask you’re wearing does bupkiss for preventing COVID-19. It’s not transmitted via aerosol. “Social distancing?” My dimpled ass. Unless you institute total quarantine, complete bubblewrapification, it’s going to get around. Wash your grubby fucking mitts, don’t GAK on others, stop sucking your fingers, and carry on. No need to shut society down. Maybe just a little injection of common sense? Everyone’s wearing medical masks. Everyone’s wearing latex gloves. Everyone’s duct-taping their clothing closed at the wrists and ankles. Well, almost everyone. Esme and I are not. You see, Esme and I have actively functioning brains and immune systems. Sure. We had the Middle Eastern Annual Upper Respiratory Crud; plus we’re ‘high risk’ being both diabetic and cardiac patients. Shit. According to the local ill-informed medicos, we should be looking into what plots in which we’d like to eternally nap. It’s an annual bonus living here in the scheisse bowl that is the Middle East. There are more nationalities coming and going here in one spring or fall season than what is seen for an entire year at most stateside international airports. With the madding, unwashed crowds comes a Robert Bakker-esque batch of foreign germs, viruses, crud, filth, and novel microorganisms. It’s actually a biannual thing, when people leave on holiday and when they return. They bring back all their home-boy bugs and share them with everyone else. It’s actually a well-documented phenomenon. So, I’m not going to get into the idiocy that is the geopolitical ridiculosity of trying to legislate contagion control through hand washing, staying home, and hand wringing over some Yanni-come-lately bug. Truth be told, yes, of course, it is sadly responsible for killing a number of people, and its genesis as a probable zoonotic virus makes it an interesting study. However, this fucking bug will burn itself out as do all other infectious contagions and be relegated to the “Hey. Do you remember back to that 2020 idiocy where global governments were trying to teach its citizens how to wash their fucking hands?” OK, so maybe you think I’m wrong. I’m a scientific curmudgeon, so, yeah, that’s a common reaction. Think “bell curve”. World population (2020): 7,775,446,040 (est.) Corona cases worldwide: 1,118,603 Global deaths: 59,226 (Very much an estimate. Deaths due to complications of existing conditions? Unknown.) Percentage of world population dead from COVID-19: 0.00076%. Seventy-six one hundred thousandths of a percent. Percentage of COVID-19 infections which are lethal: 0.5-1.0%. You have a greater chance of dying from a shark attack during a thunderstorm while being hit by lightning while falling off a cliff. Now, as a little comparative Gedankenexperiment: remember the Spanish Influenza Pandemic of 1918? How long was spent in your Social Studies or History class on this little viral foofaraw? The number of deaths were estimated to be at least 50 million worldwide with about 675,000 occurring in the United States. Yet, I’ll wager a tall frosty can of my best cold beer that in public school it was hardly mentioned. It was noted that it was ‘bad’. It was noted that it came right after WWI. And teaching continued immediately with the Roaring 20s. Cheap Mexican Beer Virus and all its evils will be responsible for many deaths. That is disheartening and very unfortunate. So is ignorance, greed, and idolatry. Let’s legislate against those and see how well that works… Sorry about the rant. This global idiocy is costing me some serious contracts. Anyways, back to reality. “Что?” I bark into the phone. “Good day, Doctor.” Agent Rack replies, “Glad to see you’re in a good mood today.” “Ох, черт возьми, ведра.” [“Oh, fuckbuckets…”] I groan, “Hello, Agents Rack and Ruin. How are you doing today with all this Dos Equis Virus business?” “We are fine, Doctor”, Agent Rack replies, “We’re government agents. We already had our inoculations.” “Well, that’s a fine fucking how do you do!”, I thundered, “You get jabs to ward off the crud and all we get a fucking phone call. “ “Doctor”, Agent Rack relates, “These are experimental vaccinations. However, I’m certain if you and your lovely wife would like to take part in the program, we could…” “OK, gotcha.”, I noted, “Nah, not this time. We’ll just let our white blood cells work out on their own. So, what can I do for you?” “Ah, Doctor”, Agent Rack relates “This is why we so like calling and talking with you. Right through the bullshit and right down to business.” “Indeed”, I snort back, “So, what’s it this time?” “Doctor”, Agent Rack hesitates, “There has been talk at high levels regarding the current oil crisis and what Russia and Saudi Arabia are doing to the global oil industry.” “Yeah, they’re fucking it up for everyone”, I reply, “Cutting off their noses to spite their faces. In the meantime, millions if not billions, suffer. Cheaper gas! For a bit, but that won’t last if either one manages to fucker the other. This is but the tip of the iceberg that preparing to descend upon us. No one knows what’s going to happen, even me. But, I can guarantee you, it’s not going to be pretty or fun. It’s going to be a global bloodbath before it’s all over. And if you think your Ecoweenie electrics are going to make any difference, where are you going to get the diesel fuel to power the heavy equipment needed to mine the lead, lithium and other metals for your batteries?” “Rant over, Doctor?” Agent Rack snickers. “Rant over?” I ask, incredulously, “I have yet to begin to rant. Thinks that’s fun? Just wait until all the virus-whackos crawl out of their bubble wrap and Purcell sleeping bags. The viral world is going to have a fucking field day on all those billions of compromised immune systems…” “Let me pause you right there, Doctor.”, Agent Ruin cuts in, “We have a proposition for you. Would you care to listen?” “Ah. Agent Ruin. Good day”, I say, “OK, OK, I’ll make nice. What do you have for me now?” “You have done exploratory work in the Orient, is that not correct?” Agent Ruin asks. “OK, Ruin; now you’re just being dramatic. You have my full dossier. You know full well I‘ve worked in Japan, China, Mongolia, Korea…” I say. “Ah. Precisely.” Agent Ruin stops me. “Which Korea?” “Oh, bother.” I exhale loudly, “South Korea. Where else? North Kore…oh, no. You’re not…” “Yes”, Agent Ruin relates, “We would like you to venture to the ‘Democratic People's Republic of Korea’ as part of a scientific team investigating the possibility of oil and gas reserves there.” “Best Korea?”, I ask, “OK, I’ll bite. Who? What? And why?” “’ Who’ is the United Nations and their ‘Oil for Development Program’. Also the IUPGS. They were the ones instrumental in all this. ‘What’ is to review the geology of the northern half of the Korean peninsula. It seems that their own geoscientists there are coming up short, being so scientifically and socially insulated for all these years. Since they have seen no direct evidence of oil nor gas, they’ve concluded that such does not exist there.” Agent Ruin explicates. “I’ve seen this syndrome before.” I nod in agreement, not recalling that I’m not on a videophone, “In Russia in the early days. In China. In Mongolia. They were so inward-looking, they had no other examples to even consider as potential analogies. OK, that makes perfect sense. Now for the biggie: why? More precisely, why me?” “Well, Doctor”, Agent Rack is back on the line, “Let us just say that you are preceded by your reputation. You were mentioned directly by name by several ministers of oil and gas ministries of several countries. In fact, your longtime friendship with the head of SNIGGIMS (the Siberian Institute of Geology, Mining, and Mineral Resources) in Novosibirsk was the one that rather cemented the call.” “Remind me to do something nasty for Yevgeny next time I see him”, I snicker. “Yes. Anyways”, Agent Rack continues, “We have obtained for you a worker’s, touring scientist, and exempted individual’s visa for this country. In fact, they have been obtained for all team members. It was not easy, especially for you, considering your past history; that is, your extreme global travels. These people are very, very nationalistic and xenophobic. They are extremely wary of outsiders; to the point of obsession. An outsider like yourself, I’ll wager, once you arrive, will give them apoplectic fits of paranoia. Therefore, with your education, experience, and innate ability to drive people fucking crazy as well; we thought you’d be perfect for the task.” As I’m snickering over the left-handed compliment, I have to agree, it is most enticing. “And who will be the others making up the team you mentioned?” I asked. “There are several from around the globe. I will send you a list once we have your assurance that you’ll be attending this little function.” Agent Rack reminds me. “You have academic and industry seniority, though, I would expect you to be seen as the team leader.” “Fuckin’ A, Bubba”, I smile into the phone. “Price of poker’s just gone up.” “Yes, quite.”, Agent Rack replies. “OK, I’m interested,”, I say, Now, before I sign on the dotted line, two things: JD [job description] and compensation, not necessarily in that order.” “Of course,” Agent Rack replies, “Check your Email for both. Call us soon when you decide. Good day, Doctor.” “Yeah, adios comrade-ski”, I say, hang up the phone and wander upstairs to my workstation. As I wander towards the stairs. I poke my head into the kitchen where Esme is busy pickling stuff for later. Homemade sauerkraut, giant Kosher garlic dills, and icky, in my opinion, Bread-n-Butter pickles. Plus, pizza dough. Make it, freeze it. Thaw when needed, let rise and top, cook in a wood-fired stove. Lovely. After admiring her handiwork, I pipe up and ask: “Hey, dear. Wanna go to Best Korea with me?” I ask. Without a moment’s hesitation, “Nope. I figured it’d be someplace fun when R&R (her pet name for our favorite agents) called.” She said. “Can I go and play with the funny Commies?” I asked. “How long and when?” she asks. “Dunno.” I reply, “Soon. Rack and Ruin sent me the JD and compensation package. Hell, anything to get out of here for a while. Sure you don’t want to go to Tokyo and visit Yuguchi? Or Ulaanbaatar and visit Bayarmaa? Beats the hell out of rattling around here by your own self alone.” “And miss the chance to sleep in late? Watch what I want on the box? Not have to cook something fresh and exciting thrice daily?” She smirks. “Hey, be nice”, I note, “I do a lot of the cooking and all of the shopping.” “Oh, I know.”, Es sighs, “Just being stuck here and missing the girls. Maybe I could get on a plane to the states?” “Sure, why not?” I reply, “I’ll make that part of my package. Biz class for you to what, Chi-town? Brew City? You name it. I’ll make it happen.” “Oh, Rock!”, Esme gushes, as she hugs me and now I smell like a New York deli, “That would make me very happy to see my mother and the girls.” “Consider it done,” I respond. “Courtesy of my Red Passport and connections with the Agency.” We embrace a bit more, kiss and Es goes back to smashing garlic. I repair upstairs to see what the new job entails. I power up my workstation, all 28 terabytes of deep scientific data and generic stuff. I whack thrice upon the secret key. “Good morning, Rock”, my computer greets me. “How can I help you?” “’ Morning, Sindy. Pull up my Gmail, please.” I ask nicely. Yeah. I know. Call me an old sentimentalist. My Email pops up and there it is, an encrypted and hefty email from my agency buddies. I go through the flips and twists necessary to decrypt their communiques. After a few minutes, I’m puffing a new cigar, sipping a new Greenland Coffee, and goggling over what the hell I’m supposed to be doing for the next few weeks. “Holy shit”, I snicker, “This could be some fun…” I’m off on the road to Best Korea. I certainly do get around… The main upshot is that there hasn’t been any serious geological reconnaissance of Best Korea since before the 1950s. In fact, the northern part of the Korean peninsula was sort of ignored as the geological expeditions pre-“Korean Conflict” centered on what was to become South Korea, China and to a smaller extent, southern Russia. As usual, “Best Korea” was odd man out. OK, before I continue, there’s going to be a lot of background I have to relate before any of this makes any sense. There’s going to be some historical geology, historical exploratory history, which is historically most historic. Plus some chronological historical background how I, a fully-fledged American, somehow finagled a way both into and out of the worker’s paradise known as the ‘Democratic People's Republic of Korea’. Right. With that being sorted, we need to look to the past and what had transpired in Best Korea after the shooting stopped, Hawkeye and BJ sobered up, and everyone was hunkered down behind their particular chunk of the 38th parallel. The first known organized effort to explore for oil and gas reserves in North Korea occurred during 1965, when North Korea established a “bureau for the management of geological survey for fuel resources” and, with Chinese assistance, conducted initial geophysical surveys and exploratory drilling in the western (Sukchon-gun) and northeastern (Kilchu-gun and Myongchon-gun) sections of the country. In 1967, North Korea conducted a joint geological study with Soviet geologists in the Tumen estuary area using drilling equipment acquired from Romania. Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. In 1976, a group of North Korean specialists traveled to the Soviet Union to examine an oil platform in the Caspian Sea, learn the basics of offshore drilling operations and acquire associated technology and equipment. Attending this, North Korea established two oil and gas exploration organizations: the Taedong-gang Survey Group (for offshore exploration) and the Tumen-gang Survey Group (for onshore exploration). Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. Nationwide Exploration began in earnest in the 1980s. These efforts were enlarged during 1981 when the Geophysical Company of Norway (GECO A/S) was signed to a four-year contract to conduct a joint seismic survey of several exploratory blocks. While this initial four-year effort showed grievously inconsistent results, the Tumengang Survey Group did identify oil shows at a drilling site in Sukchon-gun. The small size of this reserve and its characteristics made it uneconomical to pursue but provided cold comfort. Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. During the mid- to later 1980ss, North Korea purchased a clapped-out 14,000-ton drilling platform from a Singaporean company and used it to drill additional exploratory wells in the Korea Bay. Additional offshore exploration took place in the Donghae (East Sea) Basin off the east coast port of Wonsan. On land, exploratory wells were drilled in the Paektu-san, Kilchu-gun and Myongchon-gun areas. Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. In 1986, North Korea and the Soviet Union signed a treaty delineating their economic sea zones and borders, and the nations agreed to the joint development of the nearshore and continental shelves. While indications of oil deposits were identified off Hungnam, real progress was never achieved. Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. Australia’s Meridian Oil NL made calculated, though in retrospect, stupid, decisions to acquire an exploration license in the Sohae Basin (West Sea or Korea Bay Basin) during 1987. These drilling rights were reportedly the first to be granted to a foreign company by North Korea. Accompanying this move, Great Britain’s Leeward Petroleum Ltd. was awarded a contract to undertake additional survey work to supplement that done earlier by GECO. Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. By the end of the 1980s, North Korea had drilled about 15 wells on both sides of the peninsula (located both onshore and offshore), conducted preliminary geophysical surveys of a number of likely oil and gas producing basins, and drill exploratory wells in the Sohae Basin. Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. North Korea entered the 1990s determined to aggressively pursue foreign investment and assistance for oil and gas exploration and the country was in famine and disintegrating. However, they were concerned over North Korean laws, uncertain of the profitability of such efforts and apprehensive of negative reactions from the international community. North Korea sought to counteract some of these concerns by issuing statements and publishing data to indicate that foreign oil companies with technical assistance from Romania and China had identified vast oil reserves both in the waters off Sinuiju on the west coast and Wonsan on the east coast. Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. Complementing these west coast efforts, North Korea also sought to secure investment and partners to continue oil and gas exploration off the east coast in the Tonghae Basin and on land in the Kilchu-Myongchon Basin. In an effort to calm foreign investor’s concerns over developing disputes with China, North Korea noted that “…although we are in a dispute with China over oilfields, it is over now.” While these assertions were inaccurate, it indicated the importance North Korea had placed upon attracting foreign investment. Building upon this to more easily attract foreign investment, the General Department of Oil Exploration was upgraded to the Ministry of Petroleum Industry in 1993. Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. During early 1996, the political atmosphere within Russia was right for the country to sign a protocol with North Korea that, among other things, provided for Russian assistance in exploring North Korean oil reserves. This arrangement reportedly constituted the first significant economic and scientific aid provided to North Korea since the collapse and implosion of the Soviet Union. Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. Later in 1998, the Hyundai Group discussed numerous economic development projects, including the exploration for oil in the Korea Bay and East Sea. While a number of the projects discussed would ultimately see some small fruition and some low degree of success, efforts at oil exploration failed to produce tangible results. Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. Desperate to prove the viability of its oil reserves and attract foreign investment, North Korea’s own Korea Oil Exploration Company (KOEC) signed an agreement with Global Geo-Services during 2003 to conduct a large seismic survey, known as “Korean Dragon,” to cover the entire offshore of the country. Results of that survey had Chinese sources in 2005 sign an agreement with North Korea to jointly explore and develop oil fields in the Korea Bay. Repeated efforts towards this objective have been delayed in the past due to disagreements over sea boundary disputes between the two nations. Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. During early 2010, Aminex and Singapore-based Chosun Energy formed a Company, Korex Ltd., to reprocess existing seismic data and explore for gas and oil in North Korea. Subsequently, during May, Korex Ltd. succeeded in signing a production sharing contract for a 50,000 km squared block in the Tonghae Basin. Two years later, in 2012, Aminex announced that it had decided to withdraw from exploration in North Korea due to the volatile and unpredictable politics of the area. Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. In June 2013, Mongolia’s HBOil JSC purchased a 20 percent stake in North Korea’s Sungri Chemical Complex for $10 million and signed an agreement to explore inland crude oil deposits and gas fields in the Rajin-Sonbong area on the northeast coast in cooperation with KOEC. Neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. As of 2020, North Korea is continuing to work with several small foreign firms to acquire seismic data and to ascertain whether it is sitting on top of economically viable oil and gas reserves. Thus far, neither of these efforts achieved meaningful results. Well, that’s the history, in a nutshell, of the North Korean efforts of exploring for and producing their own oil and gas. Basically, they really didn’t have a clue as to what the hell they were doing, didn’t know how to proceed with geological exploration in wildcat regions, nor how to entice and retain foreign investment when you have nothing more than a faint flatus of gas and a slight skim of oil to sell. Yep. Someone was hip to this scene and actually called in the “Motherfucking Pro from Dover” as the fixer. I was selected to be among a number of world-class oil and gas types, geologists, reservoir engineers, geophysicists, and even a barmy petrophysicist to go into Best Korea. I was to be the team leader to gather every bleedin’ bit of geological-geophysical-petrophysical-geochemical-geomechanical-and geotechnical data that existed. “Stomp on some toes”, I was told in the JD [Job Description]. “But try not to mess up the shine”. They said. “This is not a job for the meek. You need to go in and diplomatically show these people how it’s done. You have as much authority as you desire. But, you are responsible for wielding this authority in a Communist, paranoid, and xenophobic country.” “Damn, Billy Bob”, or whoever wrote this prospectus, “Trying to make me feel homesick”? “But remember,”, the JD continued, “You are a scientific ambassador. You will be expected to comport yourself as such.” “Oh, come the fuck on!”, I snorted in my Greenland coffee. “They know me after all these years and programs and still this bullshit appears in the JD?” I laughed loud and long about that. They want my expertise, education, and experience? Sure. Then they get the whole package; warts, keloids, scars, and all. Hell, the more I read about the job description, the more I think that this is going to be a real fucking hoot with potential for high hilarity to actually ensue. OK. In a nutshell, Clancy: I’m leading an international team of petroleum scientists, seniors all, to Best Korea to: • Gather and document every bit of petroleum exploratory geological-geophysical data that exists. • Catalog this data; as to type, vintage and extent. • Appraise this data as to efficacy or value. • Evaluate the surficial geology of the country to see if it adds anything to the petroleum exploration picture. • Decipher the geopolitical makeup of the country’s oil and gas ministries. Who, what, where, etc. • Make contacts/friends/acquaintances of the geoscientists, ministers, and anyone with a key to the pub or a cigar store. • Appraise the current data, and make suggestions as to needed infill data. • Make an evaluation as to the possibility of economic deposits of oil and gas in the northern half of the Korean Peninsula. • Perform Risk Analysis and Economic Evaluations if economic of oil and gas do in reality exist in the northern half of the Korean Peninsula. • Sif successful, suggest companies, project scope and financial particulars of projects concerning these economic deposits of oil and gas if they exist. • Create/delineate dossiers on any local I meet. • Try to keep myself and my team out of jail or the noose. It sounds like a stroll in the park. Travel. Sightseeing. Danger. Thrills. Visiting hitherto forbidden lands. Wielding hammers in the wilds of one of the last overtly Communist places on Earth. With exciting overtones of skullduggery, personal endangerment, imprisonment, mayhem, explosives, destruction, and the opportunity to tour a closed-to-the-west distillery and brewery. How could I, in good conscience, say no? OK, Agents Rack and Ruin, I’m in. But first, my contract. “Yes, Herr Comrade Agent, it’s the usual. Yep. Take or pay. Yep. Door to door. Total conveyance, with medical Evac back-up. Nope. Non-negotiable. Full insurance against any untoward events. Total pre-payment for visas, tourist cards, tours, conveyance, cigars, room, and board. Full bonding and indemnituer against Force Majeure. Be it insurrection, war, flood, or bad dates, I get paid triple; job completed or not. Right? Great. Oh, you like that? Wonderfulness. You’ll love this: full access to the Swedish Embassy while in-country, as the US doesn’t have one there? De facto, and ad hoc Swedish citizenship while traveling? OK, so far, so good. Business-class flights or better? Of course. My day rate?” I had to hold the phone away from my ear. I already suffer from tinnitus, I didn’t need Agent Rack’s exclamations to add to that malady. Still, I can’t believe I slid my cigars through on the contract unscathed. After he simmers down and accepts my terms, I ask for the key to unlock the file of my team members. Things are kicking into high gear. I am to vet the list of individuals slated to be my team members and make a preliminary itinerary for the trip to Best Korea. “OK,” I tell Agent Rack, “How will we get there? I know we’re going to fly but to where? Beijing? Seoul? Tokyo?” “Seoul? OK. Then overland to some 50 kilometers to Daeseong-dong and the DMZ.” I reply. “OK, then what?” I ask. “WHAT? WALK?” I gasp, “Surely you jest.” “No, I don’t, and I’m not going to make that old joke”, Agent Rack replies, “Because of reasons, you and your entourage are not allowed to arrive to Pyongyang by train; besides it’s a 24-hour trip. You will arrive in Daeseong-dong and with your gear, walk across the DMZ to be greeted by your ‘handlers’ from the geology ministry of the DPRK.” “OK, forget trains. 24 hours on a Chinese train sound like less fun than one could handle, and I’ve done the 13-day Trans-Siberian Moscow-Beijing trip.” I reply, “But I’ve got a shitload of scientific gear that I’m taking. How about we just all meet in Seoul or Beijing and fly into Pyongyang?” To be continued…
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Evolution Gaming and Authentic Gaming power the casino lobby at LeoVegas casino website. Game selection is one of the best in the industry. LeoVegas has games from all the best software providers. They have options for everyone. NetEnt fanatics will find Starburst and Creature from the Black Lagoon. You’ll also find classic slot machines like Jackpot 6000 and Mega Joker, Cosmic Fortune, and of course legendary progressive jackpot slots such as Book of Dead and Mega Moolah Isis. LeoVegas also has feature buy slots avaible. This slot game feature allows you to buy straight into a free spins bonus round. Most of the Megaways slots have bonus buy feature. Money Train (Relax Gaming) and Fat Santa (Push Gaming) slots are also popular feature buy slots you can play at Leo Vegas. Live dealer games section has a red dog, Live Casino Hold ’em, VIP Blackjack, Caribbean Stud Poker, along with the usual suspects.
Deposits and Withdrawal
Leo Vegas Casino has a lot of payment options to choose from. They have all the most often used bank transfers for Canadians (bank wire transfer, Interac, iDebit, Visa, Mastercard). Also, deposits are instant with every payment method, and withdrawals are relatively quick for all the payment methods. Also, Casino LeoVegas is not a PayPal casino. However, you’re not able to deposit with cryptocurrencies at LeoVegas Casino. If you want crypto money deposit options, Bitstarz is the best online casino for that. What’s best, we have an Bitstarz bonus promotion for Canadian online players. >>Get Free Spins Bonus Now<<
Leo Vegas Casino Review
If you like mobile casino games, Leo Vegas is thebest online casinofor you. LeoVegas Casino reviews online can be misleading, so please make sure you only trust credible sources like Bonus.ca. Leo Vegas is the best mobile casino we’ve come across, and that’s a fact. Playing at LeoVegs is fun and easy. You can test the site yourself risk-free by signing up and playing demo for free. If you like what this real money casino has to offer, you’ll get more money to play with when you register your casino account from Bonus.ca.
Leo Vegas – King of Mobile Casinos
Leo Vegas has from the start concentrated on mobile online gambling. You can play all its top casino games on modern mobile devices. Supported devices include all iPhones and iPads, as well as Android phones and tablets. Even Blackberry and Windows phones and tablets are ok. For Android, there’s an optional LeoVegas mobile casino app for mobile gaming. Other than that, there’s no need for casino apps to jump into action on LeoVegas mobile devices.
Leo Vegas Mobile App
You don’t need an app to play.. So, if you have an iPhone, you simply gamble at Leo Vegas’ website. For Android phones and tablets, LeoVegas has an optional app you can download by following instructions you’ll find after registering at the Leovegas mobile casino. However, most players skip downloading the app. It’s a bit cumbersome as it requires changing a couple of Android’s standard settings. Especially as playing on a mobile device works equally well. Usually, our bonus experts stay with one mobile casino for a couple of days to find out whether there are kinks in the mobile experience. But, we realized LeoVegas is pretty damn good when we noticed our experts had had accounts at LeoVegas for months. The draw here is that besides being technically perfect for Android and Apple devices, the mobile casino has big promotions for existing players. These promos are bound to make you pop back to Leo to play your free spins and other real money casino bonuses. >>Get Free Spins Bonus Now<<
Game Responsibly at Leo Vegas Canada
Leo Vegas uses 2048-bit SSL encryption technology. This ensures the best protection of all personal and financial data that you pass on to them. LeoVegas makes sure that you can 100% trust their online casino site, and you feel safe and secure. Just like in all trustworthy casinos, all the LeoVegas casino games from Casino Holdem to Jackpot slots are tested with Random Number Generator (RNG) randomness, and like all trustworthy casinos. Responsible Gaming is something LeoVegas has taken into account. You can set an account, time, and deposit limits. These are essential tools in ensuring players conduct themselves within their means. You can contact LeoVegas Help Center that has a Live Chat available 24/7 that is eager to help you on anything responsible gambling, games at LeoVegas, or anything else you have in your mind.
Leo Vegas: Award-Winning Mobile Casino
LeoVegas online casino has been rewarded with multiple awards. LeoVegas is already a winner of:
‘Online Casino of the Year’ Global Gaming Awards in 2019
‘Operator of the Year’ EGR Nordics Awards 2018
‘Online Casino Operator of the Year’ International Gaming Awards 2017
‘Mobile Operator of the Year’ & ‘Nordic Operator of the Year’ EGR Nordic Awards 2016
Leo Vegas is reviewed by the UK Gambling Commission and Malta Gaming Authority. If you ever come across with problems, LeoVegas is a responsible casino operator. They have a live chat available at their casino site. Also, you can contact customer support via online or use the chatbot they have on-site. If you prefer talking with a real person, you can contact their 24/7 Customer Support team via email. >>Get Free Spins Bonus Now<<
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