GTA Online Diamond Casino Heist Scope Guide - GamersHeroes

So I was doing the vault scoping and found this out, don’t know if I got lucky or this actually works.

1. Once you have scoped out the vault, you get the task to exit the casino. Walk up to the door but before you exit, you call lester and cancel the heist.
   
2. As soon as you have clicked the option. Close the call immediately and walk out. If done correctly, you should still have the mission.
   
3. Just drive away from the casino and you should get the RP for it like you completed the mission. Then head back to your arcade and start up another heist setup.
   
4. It should show on the whiteboard, that you have completed the vault scoping already, but your target should be different.
   

This was just a thing I stumbled upon so, tell me if it worked.

I bought the arcade and started the first Scoping Out mission to finish the setup of the arcade.
Got to the casino, took photos of the camera, keypad and guard. So far so good.
Got out on the roof. Climbed down and photographed the side entrance that was marked as a POI.
Then I had to switch sessions because a modder showed up and spawned an aircraft carrier.
Anyway, in the new session the mission seems glitched. I met Yung Ancestor and Lester said he could be a way in. I took a photo of the vault plans in the office and sent it, but Lester didn't say anything. The arcade is still messed up and the upgrades are not showing, the laptop says "they will appear when you finish the scoping out mission".
What do? I have no POIs on the map, and no prompts from Lester. Can I restart the mission somehow?

If you cancel the heist after getting cash, while you're in the casino (instead of leaving the area), the heist board will be automatically scoped out the next time you pay the setup fee.
Hopefully this isn't against the rules as it's not being used to exploit other players.

So I found out that if you do the scope out mission and cancel the heist (because you did not get the loot you wanted) while still beeing in the casino and then return to your arcade and restart the Heist the scope out is already completed. Right now I'm not exactly sure if it's always the same loot as in the last heist you completed since I just tried it two times, but both time I got cash during the scope out mission, canceled it while in the casino and got Art again which was what I got the last time I completed the Heist.
Might be worth a shot doing it this way, even if it doesn't give you what you had in the last completed heist and it's just random aswell, it still would allow you to do 2 scope out missions in one go, which saves some time.

Continuing… (It's Part 6 in the saga, I fucked up. Sorry.)
So, after a few re-fueling and impromptu cigar-purchasing stops in South and Central America, we wheel up to the deserted jetway at LAX.
“Thought we were going to Elmendorf?” I asked.
“This isn’t it?” the pilot replied, feigning worry.
“No.”, I replied, “Looks like California. Fruits and nuts. All around. What’s going on? One minute we’re off to Texas, then Cali, then Texas again, now we end up here at the California airport of the iconic tower.”
“Yeah, it’s confusing enough haulin’ civilians around. But when we get a call from Virginia, we tend to comply without any questions,” the pilot explains.
“Aw, shit!”, I sort of exclaim, “Rack and Ruin called?”
“Yeah”, the pilot replies, “Figures you’d know these guys. They said they were closer to LAX rather than Texas and had us divert here. In fact, you look over there, see that dark blue Chevy? That’s them; and evidently, your ride.”
I tipped the airman from earlier a couple of cigars as he helped me with my gear off the plane and into the trunk of Rack and Ruin’s plain-Jane blue late modeled Chevy. Had to move the Sidewinder Missiles off to one side, though.
“Most honorable Agents Lack and Luin!” I quipped in my faux-racist greeting. “What the hell, guys? I’ve got to get to Japan and get some newly rigidified digits.”
“Let’s see your hand”, Agent Rack asks. “Nasty.”
“Yeah”, I sigh “And with the medicos in South America and their penchant for plaster, I don’t so much have a left hand as more of an ankylosaur tail.”
“Or Thagomizer”, Agent Ruin tittered. “Anyone gives you grief, and one upside the head should set them right. Or dead.”
“You’re a riot, Ruin.” I replied, “But not entirely incorrect.”
We all agreed that I really didn’t need any extra accouterments to make myself look more dangerous. I mean with my severe haircut, stern beard clip, and perpetual ‘Go fuck yourself’ scowl.
“Yeah”, I replied, stroking the aforementioned beard, “I just can’t get that. I’m such a people person.”
After Agents Rack and Ruin finished drying their eyes from laughing what I thought was en extremis, we finally got down to business.
“So, what’s the skinny, guys”, I asked. “New marching orders?”
“No. Not as such”, Agent Ruin said, still sniggering over my ‘people person’ comment.
I see we’re moving. Agent Rack is just driving casually, like Chewbacca when they were waiting to see if the Empire went for that expensive Bothan code.
“Then, what?” I asked, getting a slight bit piqued.
“Well”, Agent Ruin noted, “When you went to South America, you took some of your artillery collection with, correct?”
“You know I did. You even made some snide comments about my personal choice of sidearms and their ‘excessive’ calibers, if memory serves”, I reiterated.
“And if you are proceeding normally, as you always do, they’re all nestled in the trunk of this very car. All cleaned, quiet, unloaded, and smelling sweetly of Hoppe’s Number 9 and WD 40, correct?” Rack inquired.
“Yes?” I cautiously venture.
“Well, ya’ big dummy, do you think they’re going to let you saunter into Tokyo armed like the Third Fleet?” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Um…well…I do have a Diplomatic Passport.” I ventured.
“That’s not going to work this time.”, Agent Ruin said, shaking his head. “They’re tighter than Dick’s Hatband about sidearms. Want to bring in your Rigby SXS .500 Nitro Express double rifle? Not a problem. Sidearms, especially in your alien hunting calibers, nope.”
Well, that’s just….*dandy!”, I reply, semi-put out. “Now what the hell am I going to do?”
“Ever think that’s why Ruin and I are here, now?”, Rack asks.
“And here I thought it was just so you could bask in the warm glow of my fucking wonderful personality. Or that you actually cared about me as a real goddamn human”, I joshed.
“Ummm…yeah”, Rack replies, “There’s no way we can answer that without going on some Deadpool list. “
I agreed.
“OK, here’s the deal: you get your sidearms, ammunition, speed loaders, brass knuckles, Asp, laser range finders, Sap, Zeiss scopes, Kukri, Wisconsin Cheese Whittler, Buck folding skinner, Marine K-Bar, those two ultra-illegal Cheburkov Cobra titanium switchblades...”
“Three. Olga the KGB lady sent me one for Geologist’s Day.”
“Ahem. Those three ultra-illegal Cheburkov switchblades, that Wyoming Speedholer, your MASER Time-Distance Computer, garrote, pocket rail gun and whatever else lethal you carry and deposit it in the iron box in the trunk. We’ll ensure that it’s delivered to Esme post-haste. And by post-haste I mean one of our guys will deliver it personally.”
“Well…I suppose”, I conceded, “But best send someone who’s been to the house recently. I don’t know how much bigger Khan has grown since I left on this little fantasy trip. Wouldn’t want a star on the wall in Langley for someone eaten by a mastiff. Want to see a picture….Oh, bother. That’s right. My phone’s at the bottom of fucking Lake Maracaibo.”
“Good point”, Ruin interjects, “Guess we’ll do a little road trip and deliver it ourselves. Best call Esme and let her know what’s going on.”
“I have no objections to your proposals. Please give Esme this when you see her. I had some luck in the Calaveras Casino and if I don’t send her some mad money. Ouch. She’ll never forgive me for not taking her along to Japan.” I asked.
“But I thought Esme hated Japan? Too crowded and too ‘fussy’, I believe was her estimation.” Ruin asked.
“Yes, but once she saw the Ginza, all bets were off. Shopping the likes of which even Allah himself hasn’t seen.” I replied, slowly shaking my head.
“I see”, Ruin said, “Well, since you’re off to Sapporo, perhaps you can do a recon for Esme on the shopping there.”
“Not bad. Not bad at all.”, I smiled, “Now I know why I let you guys hang around with me.”
So, as advertised, I am now standing on the tarmac at LAX, basically feeling naked.
“Can’t I keep just one switchblade?” I moaned to Agent Rack.
“Go ahead, if you’re really keen on donating it to Japanese customs”, he replied.
“Fuckbuckets.” I groused.
“There, there now. That’s the usual Dr. Rocknocker of which we’re all so fond.” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Remember, you do have that wallet-sized credit card gizmo from the Company. So you’re not entirely ‘naked’. Think of it as an emergency breechcloth.” He smiled.
“I’d like a larger model if you don’t mind. It’s chilly out here.” I joshed.
After Agents Rack and Ruin stripped me metaphorically naked as they de-weaponized me, they handed me a Business Class ticket to Tokyo, and a pass to the Japan Airlines Hospitality Suite and Lounge.
“So sorry you guys can’t hang around and have a few farewell snorts”, I chided, “But you’ve got a bit of a drive, so best be off before the weather turns to shit.”
“Who says we’re driving?” Agent Rack asked as he hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the ready and waiting C-130 cargo plane currently taxiing slowly in our direction.
“Well, in that case”, I smiled even more broadly, “Let’s invite the flight crew to join us. That’ll make the flight home all that much more interesting.”
After near tear-jerking farewell sentimentalities, i.e., “Piss on you”, “Get stuffed” and “Take a fuckin’ hike”; Agents Rack and Ruin, my weapons and the Agency’s plain-Jane Blue Chevy were all nestled snugger than buggers in ruggers in the belly of the thundering C-130.
Now truly on my own, I trudge the hundred thousand or so centisteps to my departure terminal, make a quick recon that my flight’s still slated to go in a generally westward direction, and hightail it to the nearest courtesy desk to ask for a motorized cart to take me and my remaining luggage to the JAL Hospitality Suite.
Hey. I’m old, infirm, and currently among the walking wounded.
Anyone that disagrees risks an Ankylosaur tail club swat or Thagomizer to the skull.
Finally ensconced in the JAL Hospitality Suite, Polo Lounge of course; I was drinking Tokyo Teas (3 oz. vodka, 2 oz. gin, 2 oz. rum, 1 oz. triple sec, 1 oz. Midori, good splash of lime juice, a slight splash of 7-Up (diet, of course), over ice with a lime wheel) with Pabst Blue Ribbon Extra 1844 chasers and Hangar One’s “Fog Point” vodka on the side, hiding from the brutish realities of this foul year of two thousand and twenty-something, Common Era…
I’ve already called Esme and we’ve had a good, long chat. She still managed to give me her shopping list for whenever I find myself bored on the Ginza.
She’ll be shocked when she learns that I’m not going to be in Tokyo long, but have 1st class tickets on the Bullet Train to Sapporo. Still, I’ll probably find myself in Pole Town or the Stellar Place there, trading piles of US greenbacks for locally produced Japanese curios and clothing.
I can hardly wait.
I order another round of drinks, as the wonderful attendants in the Hospitality Suite were bored out of their skulls because of the COVID-induced drop-in customers flying anywhere that requires a hospitality room stay, and I was virtually the only one around. They tried their level best to outdo each other when it comes to Japanese efficiency and friendliness.
After a couple of hours, they ask if I would like something from the grill, as the day chef had “the COVID” and the night chef just arrived. A quick perusal of the menu and I chose a 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse and another round of drinks.
I usually don’t like to eat too much before I fly, but JAL tells me the flight is going to be virtually empty, something like <121 pax, all told, so restroom availability shouldn’t be too much of a concern.
Plus, who am I to say no to a free, blue 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse?
There was a bit of difficulty conveying to the chef through the intermediaries of the hospitality just how I wanted my steak.
“Blue,” I said.
“Brue?” was the reply.
“Rare. Very, very rare.” I continued.
Look of total bewilderment.
I drag out my Personal Language Pro, speak “Steak, very, very rate” into the infernal gizmo, and hand the contraption to the attendant.
“珍しい、非常に珍しいステーキ?”[ Mezurashī, hijō ni mezurashī sutēki?]
“Raw! Nama!” I say, louder than need be.
They toddle off to find the chef.
“How is it sir, that you would like your steak cooked?” he asks.
“Very rare. Just a minute or two per side. Inside still cold.” I instructed.
All I got for the trouble was a puzzled smile.
“Give me the language gizmo…” I type in a few words…
“お尻を洗い、角をノックオフして、ここから出してください”
[O shiri o arai,-kaku o nokkuofu shite, koko kara dashite kudasai.]
“Wash its ass, knock its horns off, and walk it out here.”
“OH!” as the lightbulb pops. “Rare. Got it! Excellent!” the chef laughs and zips back to the kitchen.
Like I always say, I’m nothing if not the international ambassador of amity and goodwill.
“Crack tubes!”
Dinner was fantastic. I do wish I could have somehow mailed the Porterhouse bone back home for Khan. After that hambone incident, he might even taste it.
Finally on the plane, in an almost empty Business Class, the flight captain informs us that we’re headed to Haneda Airport Tokyo and anyone not headed in that direction better ‘haul ass off’ the flight or forever hold their peace.
Late-night international flights tend to be a bit more wooly than your average Chicago to Omaha gig.
Especially when the flight’s damn near empty and we have the next 12 hours or so to be best friends.
We taxi, turn and head into the wind. I’m doctoring up a couple of dossiers and keeping my personal cabin attendant, Luna since there were two of us in Business and two business flight attendants, busy with her trying to play ‘Stump the Geologist’.
“I’ll bet you never had this before.” She beamed and handed me a tumbler of very dangerous-looking brown liquor.
I cautiously sniff, take a modest gulp, swirl and glug the rest down.
“Ohishi Single Sherry Cask”, I say with a muffled belch. “Light. Fruity. An Englishman’s drink.”
“Oh. You knew. Let me try again.” She smiles beatifically.
“I have no objections to your proposal.” I smile as nicely as this crotchety old Komodo Dragon could.
She returns with another flagon of spirits; it smells of obsidian, leather, and earth.
I just had some of this back in LAX. I take a snort, smile, and shotgun the rest.
“Hibiki Japanese Harmony…lovely stuff.” I smile. “A little light for my jaded palate, but I’d never turn it down if it were free.”
“Oh, you win again. Wait. One more.” She smiles and skitters off to the galley.
She returns with another soupçon of some more dangerous brown liquor.
“Here, try this. It will make you very popular at social gatherings”. She smiles.
Sniff. “Splendid.” Snort. Swirl. Smile. Shotgun.
“Kanosuke New Born, if I’m not mistaken.” I smile back. “Very nice. I really do like this one.”
“You too good at this. One more!” she stands and stomps off defiantly. She returns in a trice and hands me the glass.
“Hmm…brown. Light notes of earth, leather, dating your daughter, and Kentucky…
“Beam Suntory, right?”
“You know them all!” she says, feigning irritation.
“And I thank you. Those were all excellent. Now, anything in the dangerous clear liquor category? I asked.
Luna smiled as I palmed off a 20k yen tip.
“Oh, no sir. Wait until we land.” She demurred, referring to the gratuity; which is know is not de rigueur in the Orient, but she didn’t seem to mind.
“Just in case we never make it to Tokyo”, I laughed, unknowingly presciently.
We both chuckled about that last line as she tried out various sakes and shōchūs and an actual Japanese ‘White Liquor’ (ホワイトリカー), which were all excellent as was the company.
I tell her that I need to get some work done and could she bring me a tall Rocknocker. After explain the origins and construction of the eponymous drink, she brings me one that must tip the scales at 1 or so liters.
She settles down to an empty seat and I get after the work that I need to finish before we land. I’m about ½ way through my drink when it felt as if the plane hit a brick wall. She quivered and quaked and clutched at herself while I made some comments about the pilot’s mental health.
We dropped like a paralyzed falcon, then just as suddenly, felt like it was an express elevator to Angel’s 11. The plane bucked and shimmied, wickedly. Then we slam-danced right and fell a few more stories. It was like we were in a Mixmaster and the owner was trying out every speed.
The emergency lights in the 777-300ER popped on, and the fasten seat belt sign barked loudly so even sleeping travelers could enjoy the show.
Rinse. Spin. Shudder. Repeat.
Finally, the ride smooths out and we hear the captain on the blower.
“This is your captain speaking…ah, we seem to have hit some uncharted turbulence back there.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious”, I muttered.
“Everything’s A-OK. “ he reports.
“That’s good”, I note.
“But…”
“There’s always the but…” I groan.
“…we have a couple of warning lights for which we can’t quite account. So to just be safe and certain, we’re going to divert to Hawaii, get a clean bill of health and resume this flight once we make sure everything here is hunky-dory.”
There were scattered groans and applause. Add them together and divide by two and the average response on the flight was “Meh. Whatever.”
Except for the other guy in Business, with whom I hadn’t shared two words. He began to absolutely lose his shit.
“Oh, man! We’re so screwed! Mechanical malfunction? What does that mean?” he positively fizzed with fear.
The flight attendants tried to calm him down, to no avail. They basically gave up and said they’d report his misgivings to the Captain.
I motioned over to my personal flight attendant, Luna, and asked if I could be of service.
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled at me, “If you could speak with him. You are so calm, and he is…”
“Losing his bloody mind”, I chuckled as I finished her sentence for her. “Of course, I’ll take a stab at it.”
So, I grab my drink and ease over to my Business Class partner and introduce myself.
“Hey, pal. How’s it going? I’m Dr. Rock, gentleman, scholar, and connoisseur of cigars and things alcoholic. You doing OK?”
He looks at me with an ashen face and his eyes the size of bloodshot dinner plates.
“Yeah. I’m Todd Schotts. I’m flying to Japan for business.” He mumbles
“No surprise there,” I reply calmly and take a slug of my drink.
“But now we’re all going to die. The plane is busted and we’ll crash…” he started off again.
“So, Todd is it? Good. You drink?” I asked.
“Yeah?”, he stammered back.
I asked Luna to make us a fresh batch of my eponymous cocktails.
“OK, Todd, listen up”, I began after the drinks were served, “I have flown literally millions of miles over the last 4 decades. On Aeroflot when it was still the USSR. On TACA (Take A Chance Airways), on Chalk’s in the Caribbean, on Bob’s Verrifast Plane Company in Rhodesia, on regional carriers that don’t even exist anymore. All over the world. Had some bad experiences flying, and me ol’ mugger, this ain’t one of them. This is nothing more than the glitch for this mission.”
I chuckled lightly and complimented Luna on a fantastic drink.
“Yeah…yeah…yeah…but we have to land and check out some lights…” Todd squealed.
“Well now, Todd. It would be rather difficult to do any external assessment while in flight, don’t you agree?” I asked.
“But we’re diverting. We have to land and that adds more risk. We’re going to crash and die!” he was coming more and more unglued.
“I will bet you every cent you have on your person and home bank accounts that that will not happen”, I chuckled.
That took him by surprise. At least it shut him up for a while.
“Look, Todd. This is Boeing’s latest model. They have the most incredible safety record. And if a little clear air turbulence were to be knocking planes out of the sky, don’t you think we’d hear about it as the press went berserk?” I asked.
“But they don’t know what the lights mean! What if one of the engines’s out? How far can we fly on one engine?” Todd stuttered.
Having my fill of a supposedly grown man with inane childlike fears, I calmly replied,
“All the way to the crash site.”
He went white.
“...hope we hit something hard. I don’t want to limp away from this.”
He went limp.
Then I went to my seat and motioned for Luna to prepare a reload.
Of course, 45 minutes later, we land without incident at Daniel K. Inouye International Airport, Honolulu Hawaii.
We were told to just wait around until they figure out what the problem if any, was.
They had officials waiting at the end of the jetway to check our COVID status and passports before they let us loose in the terminal.
I asked Luna if she knew this airport. She noted that she did.
“Is there a JAL hospitality room here at this airport? I asked.
“Yes, Doctor. It’s the Sakura Lounge. It is located on the third level above The Local, Terminal 2.” She replied.
“Please notify whoever needs to know that that’s where I’ll be for the duration”, I smiled and handed her my business card. “See you soon, I hope.”
“Oh, Dr. Rock”, she replied, “I am sure it is nothing much. We’ll be back in the air within mere hours.”
“Well then”, I smiled, “Guess I’d better get ready to hoof it to the lounge.”
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled, “No rush. I will call for you a courtesy cart. You are injured, you are Business, you are priority.”
“I love that Asian efficiency.” I smiled back and toddled down the jetway.
At the terminus of the jetway, I show my COVID-clear papers, dates and times of my Anti-Virus vaccine administrations, the letter from Virginia clearing me of all detention, and my red Russian diplomatic passport.
While in the cart, whizzing our way to the JAL lounge, the driver said “Man! You must be some kind of VIP. You were through that welcoming committee in less than two minutes!”
“Me? Nah!”, I chuckled, “Just an old phart of a geologist that they didn’t want to mess with. Not on such a bright, sunny day as this.”
“I see you’re not wearing a mask.” The driver quipped.
“Very observant. There are reasons for that.” I replied.
He careens around a corner and if this were a normal pre-Covid day, I’m certain we’d have killed hundreds. However, the airport, as I’ve come to grow accustomed to, was virtually deserted.
“Yeah? Like what?” he asks.
“Well, Scooter, 1. I have an active and hardworking immune system that I let off the chain every once in a while for exercise. Got to let it know what it’s up against, right? 2. I’ve had all my shots and some that were experimental. They seem to have worked. And 3. I find it difficult to drink and smoke cigars while wearing a mask. However, if you’d prefer, I will mask up. No problem, though it still is optional.”
“Nah, man”, he said, “I was just wondering if you were one of those religious idiots or conspiracy nuts.”
Nope”, I smiled back, “Just another geologist out in the world plying his trade for cash. Y’know, whorin’ around for money.”
He laughs aloud as we skid to a stop right in front of Lounge.
I slip the guy a $20 and ask if he’d listen for the JAL flight I was just on. If we’re going on ahead today, I’d need him to scoot by and putt-putt me back to the plane.
He laughs and pockets the $20 as quick as a mink ruts.
“No worries. I’ll just hang around this area. I hear anything about the flight, I’ll come and let you know.” He grins.
“Good man”, I say, as I hand him my card. “I’m Dr. Rocknocker. Call me Rock”.
“And I’m Kapula Mano, call me Kap” he replies.
“Good man”, I say again, “Hope to see you in a while.”
He grins, floors his electric cart, and peels out at speeds approaching 4.5 MPH.
I wander into the lounge, show my credentials, and am escorted to a post up on Mahogany Ridge.
The bar is very quiet. Besides the bartender, I can’t see anyone else in the darkened and Smooth Jazz-infused drinking emporium.
I order a local drink, a Mai Tai, just for the experience and something a bit different.
It’s served in a goldfish bowl on a stem, bedecked with a slice of lime, a sprig of mint, a stick of sugar cane, a polychromatic orchid, and the obligate paper umbrella.
“Ah. Mai Tai. I will enjoy it.” I said to no one in particular.
One was enough, and I decided to go back to the old standard. Once I explained to the bartender what that was, he made them heroic and enthusiastically.
I’m reading up on a random dossier, making notes in a new file, and puffing away on a Fuentes Onyx double Maduro Churchill cigar.
I hear a slight cough coming from my right, and this here lovely lady, she sat to my immediate starboard and looked at me semi-quizzically.
Not in the mood for shenanigans of any stripe, I give her the obligate Baja Canada nod and tilt of the drink. I return to my dossiers and continue to read and take notes.
“Excuse me!” I hear.
Fearing the worst, either the woman is Karen-oid anti-smoking or a religious fruit-and-nutburger, I slowly turn to face her and reply, somewhat glacially, I have to admit.
“What?”
“That cigar…”
“Here we go…” I mutter, eyes rolling northward.
“Smells exquisite. Could you tell me the brand? My husband would enjoy some like that.” She notes.
Instantly my demeanor switches 180^0.
“Yes, ma’am. It’s an Arturo Fuentes Onyx. Churchill size, or 60 ring x 7” length, double Maduro. Here, take one for your husband. I have an ample supply.” I smile.
“Oh, no. I couldn’t. Could I?” she asks.
“Please. I insist.” I smile the best I could given the circumstances.
“Thank you. You’re too kind…umm…Mr….?”
“Doctor. Doctor Rocknocker. World traveler, oilman, and international ambassador of amity, good drinks, and fine cigars. Call me Rock” I said.
“Oh! A Doctor?” she brightens.
“Yes, of Petroleum Geology and Engineering. Not medicine.” I chuckle.
She chuckles back.
“And I am Hella Aaberg”, as she offers her hand for a quick shake.
“Interesting name, Hella. Scandinavian or Old German heritage?” I ask.
“On my father’s side. He’s Finnish.” She replies.
“But I’ll wager your mother is not Scandinavian, correct?” I ask.
“She was from Truk, an island…”
“In the South Pacific, Micronesia. Was she from Weno city?” I asked.
“Why yes. How could you possibly know that?” she asked.
“Oh, I’ve been there. Great diving amongst the WWII wrecks. I think it’s actually called ‘Chuuk Lagoon’ or something like that now.” I said.
“That’s right! Amazing. Where else have you been?” she asked.
“Anywhere there’s oil, strife, booze, cigars, heavy explosives and typically long distances from whatever most normal people call civilization,” I replied with a chuckle.
Suddenly, I hear a voice booming out behind me.
“Why don’t you save that rapier-like wit for those musky-fuckers back home, Rocko?”
My expression changes. My eyes pop fully wide open.
“Hella?” I asked.
“Yes?”
“May I ask you a favor?”
“You can ask…”
“Thank you. Now, looking over my shoulder, is there a hulking goon of a person, thin up top, paunchy halfway down with the most ridiculously tiny sized shoes you’ve ever seen for a so-called grown man?” I ask.
“Yes. Yes, there is.” She replies.
“I thought so. Many thanks.”
I spin and launch off my barstool and grab Toivo by the hand. He hadn’t seen my left-hand Thagomizer yet.
“Toivo! You old sumbitch. What the flying fennec fox fuck are you, of all people, doing in Hawaii?” I laughed.
“Just keeping an eye on you, Rock!” he laughed equally as loud.
“No, fucking-A, seriously. What the actual fuck? What are you doing in this actual nice place?” I asked.
“Just headed to Tokyo to conduct a bit of service company business. I walked into the lounge and smelled a foul cigar. I figured it can’t be the venerable Dr. Rocknocker. He’s back at some school up north terrorizing geology and engineering grads and undergrads.” Toivo laughed.
“But there I was. Surprise!”, I laughed and pumped his hand.
“What the fuck, Rock. Now what did you do?” he asks, referring to my Ankylosaur tail club left hand.
“Ah, fuck. Long story. Oh, pardon me. Toivo, this is Hella. We were just talking about the South Seas Islands.” I said.
“Planning on running off together?” Toivo laughs, to the amusement of neither party.
“Oh, and this idiot is Toivo, a man with a congenital foot-in-mouth disorder. He’s mostly harmless.” I noted to Hella.
Greetings were shared all around. Hella made some small excuses and said she needed to depart. I gave her another cigar for her husband, shook her hand, and wished her well.
“Here’s my business card. If your husband has any questions, have him drop me a line.” I noted.
Hella smiled beautifully. She said she would. Then she thanked me shook our hands, and like that, there she was, gone.
“Well Toivo, you old bastard. Don't just stand there in the doorway like some lonesome goddamn mouse shit sheepherder, get your ass over here and have a drink.” I motioned over to my perch on Mahogany Ridge.
“Don’t mind if I do”, he says as he deftly winds his way to a seat to my left, snagging a cigar out of my pocket on the way over.
“You might want these”, I say in an exasperated tone, and hand him my gold Dunhill Hobnail lighter and V-cutter gizmo.
He cuts and fires up his heater.
“What you drinkin’, Rock”, he asks.
“Anything with alcohol, as usual. You know that Toiv.” I reply.
“No. I mean right now.” He clarifies.
“Well, I had a Mai Tai. Very nice if you like fruity, flowery drinks. It’s the locals’ favorite.” I reply.
“Sounds good. I’ll have several. And you?” Toivo asks.
“My usual. The bartender is already apprised of the situation.” I reply.
Toivo smiles the smile of one knowing his sobriety is going to be taken out for a swim. Hell, taken out and tossed into the deep end.
Toivo and I sit there, swapping lies, smoking cigars and sipping at our toddies.
Hell, Toivo was slurping them like a sump-pump during an extra-wet summer.
We chattered about family, work, whether or not Tokyo was going to host the Olympics or if the COVID-boogie man scared everyone off.
Toivo, always one afflicted with TB (“Tiny Bladder”) got up to go to the loo for the third time that hour. He left his pocket organizer on the bar and I swear on a stack of Origins of Species, I didn’t touch it.
I reached over to his vacated seat to retrieve my cigar lighter when I looked down and saw in his organizer a tab that reads “Rack & Ruin”.
“Oh. No. Fucking. Way.” I recoiled as I’d just reached out and petted a 6-foot hungover scorpion.
“One of my best friends? Secretly allied with the Agency? No. Not possible.” I drained my drink and called for another.
“No. No. No. It can’t be. No. No fucking way…” as doubt began to dissolve when I thought back to all those times I had just ‘run into’ Toivo.
“But he’s oil patch as well. That could be chalked up to coincidence.” I ruminated quizzically in my brain.
I quickly reflected back on J.M. Darhower: “Yes, you see, there’s no such thing as coincidence. There are no accidents in life. Everything that happens is the result of a calculated move that leads us to where we are.”
She may be the author of the execrable New Adult Sempre series, which Esme likes and I loathe, but she might just be right on this occasion.
Toivo return, lighter in the bladder and good sense. He never even noticed he’d left his organizer out in broad bar light for all to see.
“So, Toivo, when’s your flight?” I ask.
“Oh, man. Was I lucky. The JAL flight to Tokyo from Los Angeles had mechanical trouble and had to divert here. I got a ticket on the plane for that flight, when it continues.
“You mean ‘if it continues’,” I replied.
“Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I meant. Hey! Was that your flight?” he asks innocently. He’s really innocent of fieldcraft.
I decide to have some fun at my old friend’s expense.
“Yep. Hit some CAT (Clear Air Turbulence) and the JAL pilots reported some lighting problem. No apparent ruin to any of the systems. They relay racked their brains to figure it out, but they couldn’t that’s why I here.” I said, waiting for the words to swim upstream in Toivo’s coconut and make some sort of connection.
“Yeah. Double lucky. No problem with the plane and I get to go to Japan early.” Toivo crookedly grins.
“So, no trouble with the plane? Then why haven’t I heard that the flight’s going to resume?” I asked as I pushed a fresh, seriously strong drink to Toivo.
“Oh, must have heard it in the john.” Toivo countered and tried to cover his tracks by taking a huge gulp of his drink and damn near dying coughing.
I pound on Toivo’s back.
“Heimlich time?” I ask.
Toivo signals ‘no’.
“Jesus Christ, Rock. What was that?” he asks.
“Just my usual”, I innocently replied.
“Holy fuck. No wonder you have the reputation of…” Toivo realizes too late that he’s said too much.
“Yeah. They can rack you out. Really ruin a person if they’re not careful.” I reply icily.
“Why, Rock. Whatever do you mean?” Toivo slurred as he realized he’s been caught out.
“The jig is up, you turncoat. You know Agents Rack and Ruin from the agency. Right? You keeping tabs on me for them? You Quisling! You Benedict Arnold!” I almost was on the verge of losing my cool.
“It was nothing. They approached me years ago as I kept being mentioned in your reports. They asked me for some information. One thing leads to another…” Toivo was ready for an Ankylosaur tail club swat to the bean.
“Oh, put your fucking hands down, you asshole.” I smiled and chuckled.
“You’re not mad?” Toivo slurred badly. I had the bartender make him another special drink.
“No, Toivo. Not mad. Just disappointed.” I said, smiling like a Komodo Dragon just finishing up a fortnight-old wildebeest.
Toivo sat there and puzzled and puzzled until his puzzler was sore.
“You’re not going to kill me or anything rude like that?” Toivo asked, half-assedly trying to inject humor into the proceedings.
“Nah. The paperwork’s too ridiculous for me to do another liberation. But, Jesus Fucking Christwagons, Toivo; you could have mentioned it to me. Fuck, I thought we were friends to the end?” I said, dejectedly.
I was really getting through to Toivo. I could tell he was loaded; feeling like shit and massively deplorable.
Great fieldcraft, indeed.
I told him things “are what they are” and that I won’t blow his cover nor his honorarium.
He began to feel better. I often wonder if he was serious about the sanctioning thing.
Then I delivered the strategic missile strike.
“Just remember, Toivo. I wrote your dossier for the Company…”
He swivels to look at me.
“And one for the KGB. Olga says ‘howdy’.” I grin evilly.
Toivo short-circuited at that. Russia is his company’s bread and butter. Now he has the KGB as well as his best buddy looking over his shoulder at every move.
I bought him a few more drinks and continued to needle him about his ’leading a double life’. He was well and truly fuckered when the electric tap-tap driver from before came looking for me to whisk me back to the plane.
Seems it was simply some knocked-out wires on the plane, or slammed bulbs that were generating a false positive, indicating something other than the system that alerts one to something haywire went haywire.
Toivo was pretty much down for the count. I got him sober enough to hand them his ticket and ensure that he was really supposed to be on this flight. Thing was; h e was in Economy, and I was, as always, in Business.
I spoke to Luna, and the plane was going to be even less crowded than previously because some folks could or wouldn’t wait, or didn’t want to go on with the rest of the trip on a ‘damaged’ aircraft, or were just stupid and superstitious.
“Luna, could I pay for the difference between Business and Economy for my less than 100% conscious friend here? He’s had a rough day.” I asked.
“Dr. Rock. Just put him into Business. No one will be the wiser. Luna says so.” As she gave us a grand smile.
“Luna, I owe you. Thanks so much.” I said.
“Now get on board. Your friend looks like he needs all the downtime he can get.”
“Yes, ma’am!” I said and saluted here be best I could which dragging a schnozzled Toivo down the jetway.
I dumped Toivo in a window seat well away from my seat. I know Toivo. He snores like a semi-load of live hogs rocketing downhill locking up the brakes at 88 MPH.
Surprise! There was no one else in Business. Luna looked at me, at Toivo, and gave me a thumbs up.
Whatever I can write to further her career at JAL, she’ll have it before I deplane.
We finally get everyone settled, and with Captain Kangaroo at the helm, we bounced gracelessly off the tarmac, into the warm, tropical Hawaiian air, finally headed for the Land of the Rising Sun.
Toivo was snoring like a chainsaw hitting rusty nails as I worked on the various letters, communiques, and dossiers which needed updating before we reached touchdown. I gave Luna a thick letter with instructions not to open it until we were on the ground and Toivo and I were well off and away into the terminal.
We left Hawaii at 1300 hours, so we should arrive at Tokyo Nareda around 4:00 pm, the previous day. I was so bereft of time and time zones, I couldn’t figure out what time it really was, as judged by my biometric rhythms, so I asked Luna for a stiff drink as I was kicking off my boots and going to attempt to get some kip.
She brought me another liter or so eponymous drink. I was sawing logs by the time I slurped the last swig of that nifty drink.
Suddenly, or later, I have no idea really, some loudmouth drunk asshole from way-the-fuck-back in economy-land toward the ass end of the plane staggered into Business demanding free drinks.
Luna was nothing but civil, and asked him to both shut up and return to his seat. His air cabin hostess, or whatever the fuck they’re calling them these days, will attend to his needs.
“Naw they won’t! They want me to pay for more drinks! I’m broke but I demand more booze! You fucking owe me.” railed the asshole. “I sat at the bar in Hawaii for four hours. Them fuckers charged me an arm and a leg!”
“No, they don’t owe you shit”, I said in a voice that unmistakably loud and clear.
“Fuck you, old man! You stay the fuck out of this!” he bellowed. “Shut up or I’ll do ya’!”
“’Old man’? ‘Do me’? Excuse me. Luna, may I have a word alone with this individual?” I asked sweetly.
Luna shook her head in the affirmative, and I stood up to confront this flagrant asshole.
“Now look, Scooter. You have gone way, way over the fucking line. You are loud. You are abusive. You are obnoxious. And you stink. Plus you insulted a person who is just barely containing his righteous wrath right now. So, I’m giving you one and one only chance to shut up, sit back down before your body spontaneously develops all sort of bruises, contusions, broken bones, and unconsciousness.” I said calmly, evenly, and threateningly.
“What da’ fuck you think you’re going to do…old man?” he screeched, trying to inflate himself into full mammalian threat posture, all 5’ 9” of it.
He didn’t notice Toivo walking up quietly behind him, as Toivo was returning from the head, quiet as a moose.
“Well, Scooter, I am an Air Marshall. Duly appointed, fully trained, and properly pissed off. Right now, I can arrest you, physically detain you, turn this flight around and take you to the Hawaiian police, at your cost for the inconvenience of the entire flight. Or I could arrest you, physically detain you, and turn you over to the Japanese authorities when we land. It’s really your choice. Choose wisely.”
To be continued…⇝

The promise of Grand Theft Auto: Online is an intoxicating one. GTAV’s world remains one of, if not the most remarkable in gaming history, and the idea that you and a group of friends can team up and wreak havoc upon that world seems too good to be true.
To some extent, it is too good to be true. GTAO suffers from a myriad of technical issues and limitations, including ridiculous loading times, crashes, game-breaking glitches, and terrible anti-cheat. It’s like a complicated, unwieldy machine with hundreds of unseen components. If it fails, your only two options are to start from scratch, or give up.
But when it all comes together, when you finally find your friends after five minutes of loading screens and ten minutes of yelling at each other on Discord to “go here”, the experience is unparalleled. The first few hours we spent roaming the world were violent co-op magic, like a depraved, extravagant Scorcese montage with a body count that would turn eyes at the ICJ. We did missions, did drugs, blew things up, got haircuts, bought clothes, bought cars, stole cars, shot police, shot pedestrians, and of course, shot each other. Being homebound due to Covid, our at-first daily, then weekly GTA sessions kept us connected, the first time a game had done so since our short-lived Minecraft phase in March of last year.
But yesterday, as we failed the same section of the Diamond Casino Heist for about the twentieth time, one of my friends broke the silence. “Is anyone having fun?”
Several months ago, I posted a rant on this subreddit about the singleplayer, bemoaning its weak story, poor gunplay, unnoticeable progression, and surprisingly empty open-world. I stand by what I wrote, perhaps even more so now that I see how much more compelling GTAV could have been if it had included online’s heists, vehicles, and properties as DLC.
That said, online is not without fault. While there’s a massive catalogue of things to buy, the grinding necessary to purchase these things is awful, making even Cookie Clicker feel productive. GamesRadar says the Heists, which themselves require expensive properties and a substantial initial investment to initiate, net you about 400k an hour, which isn’t all that much considering how much vehicles and properties cost.
We realized early on that the disparity between GTAO’s prices and its payouts was a manufactured pain point, the remedy being the game’s overpriced Shark Cards. Rather than dig out our wallets, we abided by GTA’s longstanding moral tradition and hacked ourselves enough money to buy every car, every property, and every weapon in the game. But even without the grind to worry about, GTAO had no qualms with wasting our time. The loading screens are the most obvious example of this, but these are, I believe, unavoidable given the scope of what you’re loading into. Where it’s less forgivable is in the tedious minutiae and the absence of systems that should be present.
The more we played, the more frustrated I became. Why can I only fast travel to my properties as a CEO? Why can’t I claim all destroyed vehicles at once? Why can’t I skip these stupidly long cutscenes? Why do I have to wait to spawn in a vehicle? In a way, it makes the same mistake as its singleplayer counterpart. Though it has incredible setpieces that you won’t find in any other game, the vast majority of your time is spent preparing for them.
I don’t believe games should have infinite longevity, so I don’t fault GTAO for losing its sheen after eighty-some hours. Overall, I had a good time. Tearing through hordes of cops in a pink Insurgent. The terrific Pacific Standard Heist. Getting picked up by my friend in a disgusting anime car that he claimed wasn’t his. Being repeatedly stalked and kidnapped over the course of several weeks by a hacker named “JOE BIDEN” who’d drive me around the map at light speed and drop boats on my head as I’d try to flee. And above all, having the opportunity to hang out with my friends during a pandemic. These are all experiences I’ll remember.
The hours I spent in loading screens, driving from one side of the map to the other for the hundredth time, and listening to Lester talk about skinny dipping? I’ll remember those too, though nowhere near as fondly.

The results are in for Match 9. The winner is…
William Eyelash, with a score of 68 to Jacob Brown’s 68, tie broken by a higher ‘categories taken’ count!

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	The Graveyard Shift	16-13
Quality	The Graveyard Shift	22-20	Reasoning
JoJolity	Masters of Funky Action	20-25	Reasoning
Conduct	Tie	10-10

William Eyelash had taken the lead in this match, and though as a leader, he hadn’t done the best job, getting Jack visibly injured, as a combatant, he had managed to withstand the aggressive and area-painting onslaughts of himself from not so long ago, and of a much more experienced version of the partner he’d once had.
It had made him catch his breath, reflect on all that had come to this point, to recall that moment where Ocean Eyes had been the one to embrace and protect him.
“Yes… I understand now,” William answered, walking carefully through the snow, “you had something good going there, Jacob Brown, but… Y-you didn’t seriously think I would fall for tricks like those coming from my own Stand, did you?” Didn’t even know it could do all that, though… Even now, I can still grow, huh?
That put a smile on his face, then, as he approached the injured Jack, helping him up. “You still with us?”
“Hee hee, I’ll peachy keen as peachy cream in a little while… But right now I’m very much hurting yes.” Jack chuckled, resting his eyes and looking things over. “In the end, though… I called that other me in the hoodie an impostor, but he knew my Stand better than I did. He was even more me than me… What does that mean?” He looked down. “Am… Am I the lie?”
“I, uh… I don’t know how to answer that,” William said, “but… You’re one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met. And, uh… You helped me out a ton. Sorry for getting you hurt, uh, not that used to leading, but you really seemed to trust in me…”
“We all make mistakes!” Jack said, not minding that at all, “but… I suppose you’re right. I won’t let some stranger get in my head… But I guess that all of us were telling the truth in our hearts, then.” He looked to the defeated ‘Billy’ and the slightly-older Jacob, both bleeding and unconscious, the latter falling much faster. Already, a strange white blob was moving through the snowfield towards them, examining them. “So I guess we spare them today... if they survive what we’ve given already!”
Neither would realize it for another few minutes, but for Jacob Brown, those words had proven prophetic.
“S-still though… If you’ve really lived a full life here, become the same person with the same Stand, same memories,” William said, “does that mean that can just… Happen? But how, wh-when really, by probability and stuff…”
“So is the unusual burden of ‘Fate,’ felt strongest upon this city,” a familiar, altered voice spoke, and sitting on a park bench, William and Jack spied none other than the Institute’s head, still heavily layered as he always was.
“Oh No…” William muttered.
“‘Oh no?’ Is this a problem of a person?” Jack asked, then giggled. “Heeheh, just a little joke. I know about the Institute, of course!”
“The ‘Fortuna Double’ might exist at any point in time, for any Stand User from outside its walls, and no matter how irreconcilable the circumstances, how ‘impossible’ it should be for two people to have the same fated path, even for the slight differences of the city… The ‘Same Person’ can unquestionably exist. Wouldn’t be surprised if you, ‘Jack,’ and this ‘Billy’ here were simply the first you encountered who were close enough to your age that you immediately noticed.” No tilted his head. “Why, even that cute creature who followed the elder Jacob Brown is, literally, the same being as the Bert that just died… Yet, unlike them, bound still by fate. I wonder, then, what will prove to be the same, to be indomitable ‘fate,’ and what will prove not so.”
“I think sometimes about if I’ve ever had one here… Or will, in the future. That sounds utterly boring if so, though. I refuse to know my fate; it’s vexing enough of a limit on myself that I’m burdened by, knowing it’s predetermined to exist at all.”
“Uh… Right.” This was heavy, huh? William tried to figure out what it all meant. “Fortuna Doubles, huh… So they’re both real, completely and absolutely, then?”
“Precisely!” No remarked, cheerily. “Would you like to speak more about this? Go on, sit with me.”
Only a few hours remain still in your window of time to vote in a match between an Agnes and some Guy in a crowded concert hall brought down to size.
Scenario:
Alexis Williams was sinking.
Every day, the myriad of matters which plagued the outwardly-cheerful woman’s mind seemed to be growing worse and worse. The unhealthy relationship she’d had with her Stand had turned into an even worse sort of tension, a fundamental disconnect with an aspect of herself which she literally could not be away from.
It hadn’t been uncommon for some time for her to wonder if a given day would be her last. Over the last several months, those feelings had only grown and grown in their intensity, in their power over her, and it had even begun to show outwardly.
It wouldn’t be long now, surely, before-
Alexis’ hotel room door was kicked so hard that one of the hinges flew off, and through it launched, not an attacker like she might have imagined, some hostile Stand User out to invade her home, but something arguably even worse.
“ALEXIS!”
Her friend and fellow Eighth Circle mainstay, Bucket.
She clutched her forehead and forced a smile, turning away from what she’d been using to get through the day and towards him. Already, she could tell that the chaos agent, formerly known for the octopus on his head, now sporting sick sarashi and a pompadour, was here with intentions ranging from ‘good’ to ‘no intentions whatsoever,’ and it wasn’t in her nature to tell someone like that to fuck off.
“Bucket! Hey!” She said, an edge to her chipper tone. “You, uh, surprised me there… You’re gonna fix that door, right?” She blinked. “Wait, weren’t you at that Metra show? I thought I’d heard everyone there was shrunk down to-”
“Forget about that!” He answered, earnestly drawing closer, grasping her by the wrists suddenly, yet at once gently. “Alexis, I don’t know what’s going on with your head or heart or anything else, but I know I can’t just stand around outside your door watching you get more and more miserable! Even I noticed, so it must be really really bad whatever’s hurting you inside! I’m an acolyte of the boogie now, the example of Rudolf Pavlova, so I can’t let a friend be in need!”
“Rudolf…” Alexis had heard of his passing, so soon after helping her put on such a wonderful show, and been unsurprised. Wait, though, since when did Bucket- Ah, never mind. She shook her head, looking him in the eye. The highly chaotic, unstable hellraiser of the Judecca Highrollers was giving her puppy-dog eyes. “Did… Did you want to do something?”
“Yes! I want to make you better!” Bucket exclaimed, pulling away and bouncing upwards. “So c’mon! Let’s head out… Make some trouble, follow no rules but our own and to be happy!” He stopped, then, pulling back a moment, as if reading the room once again, folding his arms over his chest. “I mean, if you want to.”
Alexis thought it over. He meant well, clearly, and wished dearly to cheer her up… A person didn’t need to understand the nuances of the soul to see when a person was hurting, and to reach out for them.
She doubted it would make things better for her, but who’s to say it needed to be?
“That sounds great,” she said, relaxing her forced cheer slightly and nodding. “Maybe it’s what I need right about now.”
The Woods at Aurelio - Midday - Near the Northern Bridge
“So you’re sure that he’s got a base out here?”
“Crystal clear!” Tiger ‘Glitch’ Ricky answered Effie Linder, tilting her head one way and then the other as she and her Stand attempted to scope out the sounds of the area. “There was only basically one cop left and then Ugo made them quit, took the place over, paid them off… So now he just sorta comes and goes around that little old ‘empty’ police station!”
“If he hangs out at the town’s police station,” Effie asked, confused at her coworker’s demeanor, “then why are we out this far away from it?”
“Because!” Glitch answered, huffing and folding her arms. “I said he comes and goes! And prrobably isn’t there right now. Mrr, you’re the one who wanted to come out here with me, so let’s keep searching!”
“…” Effie nodded. “You know what, fair enough. He never was the type to stay still long, so looking where the Watch is going would be a start…”
Since that day she fought that shithead twink Agnes and that Italian twink Arpeggi at Tigran Sins’ casino, Glitch had been gradually, increasingly mulling over the idea of becoming something not so much unlike the latter… A vigilante, out to not just cause problems on purpose, but sometimes even solve them on purpose, in the way a Stand User knew best: shenanigans and violence.
Hearing about the way that Ugo McBaise had sabotaged the capture of the very villains whose challenge had inspired her to act, had directly gotten people killed and responsible for dangerous people staying at large, that felt like reason plenty to break out ‘shenanigans and violence’ on him.
Effie caught her on the way out, and had said then, “what, am I gonna wait around for Fira to send me on some bullshit errand? If you’re turning that piece of shit’s head concave, I’m in too.”
And so, enthusiastically, Effie had joined, and the pair had been circling the outskirts of town atop Vida Loca ever since, Effie also using her murder of crows for further observations than what her eyes alone could tell her.
Glitch’s ears perked, as did her Stand. “…something’s up ahead. A bunch of people hanging out by the river…”
“Hm? Yeah, I think I see it!” Effie remarked, producing a pair of binoculars to look that way. “VALKYRIE guys… You know what that means up here, don’t you?”
Though most of the company fell in line with Rushen Smith’s new leadership, it was something of an open secret that Ugo McBaise had very specifically drilled the former Neighborhood Watch, which had become a new unit of the company, into being loyal to him, not to his rank. Fears being stoked about the potential of ANVIL going to war with the town was all that kept them from being disbanded outright, feeling that people familiar with the area were best-suited for watching it.
Glitch hissed. “Alright, then, you know what we’ve gotta do!”
“Wait, it looks like they’re being talked through something by…” Effie adjusted the binoculars, peered through the crowd, and recognized a very identifiable vest… and a bald head, shining in the midday sun. “Mr. Jones?”
Mr. Jones had been having a good few weeks himself, ever since his earlier, very successful outing with Dread. It had ended in him successfully acquiring not just any ‘Memento,’ but perhaps one of the city’s most dangerous, and the life-fearing compliance of the kidnapped alleged immortal who led it to him, taught him its secrets.
Apparently some kitty somewhere was sad about that, but eh, when you’re making an omelette, yeah?
“Wait wait wait,” he said affably to the crowd of VALKYRIE agents he’d once called a neighborhood watch, “you say a guy in a blue pomp and a dancer’ve been… Spray painting your cars? Throwin’ dead fish at ya? Sprayin’ ink to get away?” He snickered. “You’ve had a hell of a morning with this prankster pair, then, if they keep givin’ you the slip.”
“Please, Mr. Jones,” a young man said as he continued to wipe fish guts off of his helmet visor, “I… I know, technically, you aren’t our leader anymore, that the bosses don’t like you much, but.” He sniffled, earnestly. “But you’ve always been so good to us, even since then! You’ve been loyal to us, and we still love you for it, no matter what they say you did!”
“Heheh… Hearin’ you say that makes it worth it, y’know that?” Mr. Jones wiped a finger under the eye of his sunglasses, looking them over. “Think I know who might be the whodunnit-er here, actually. Just gimme a hot minute to track the guy down, and-”
“Got a lot of nerve talking to my men, Jones.”
Everyone went silent, then, at the sound of a hammer, for dramatic effect, being dragged along the pavement of the road, then swung in the air by an absolute cinderblock of a man.
“You got a problem, and you come running to him because he happened to be passing by? What happened to using your damn heads?” Ugo chewed his subordinates out, then, before looking to the neighborhood watch founder. “I think you’ve confused these people, Worm, by still keeping up that paternal reliable neighbor shit. They’ve all been taught well and good that they listen to me, not some replacement,” he pointed his hammer forward, then, threateningly, “and sure as hell not some serial killing scum!”
“Now now now, Ugo, c’mon, it’s clear they like us both, yeah? So let’s just… Clear the confusion up, if y’care that much!” Mr. Jones reached for the sabre sheathed at his side, then, drawing it with a golden sheen; he’d fished it out of the wreckage of Capital Island one day after it wasn’t destroyed in Jack’s ritual. He, too, pointed it forward. “I know the language you speak, so let’s talk in that.”
Ugo grunted, then, swinging his hammer back over his shoulder as a very feminine form appeared behind him, looking like something of a curvy, thickset cowgirl. “Aw, Ugo and I concur, y’all know we’re down t’bash some heads and take a name or two! Why, sugar, we’re about to put you down like a sick dog!”
Mr. Jones got a snicker out of the odd word choices of ‘She’s a Big Boy,’ finding the contrast between Stand and User in all but their brutal aggression amusing; sometimes he’d tried in the past to talk to him and unpack what the Stand actually said about Ugo’s soul, but it was a conversation the very straightforward, taciturn former football star never quite liked to have.
Jones gestured with his head, then. “Watch, get back to HQ, yeah? Whoever you see walk through that door, few hours from now, respect that, yeah?”
“Uh… S-sure?” The ex-Watch member who’d been speaking said, turning around. “C’mon, guys, let’s get pizza or something… I guess.”
Alexis had been sitting by the bank of the Wormwood River, mulling over the shenanigans Bucket had encouraged her to join in with, ever since she’d happened to spot all the Watch members they’d been harassing seemingly surround somebody; it was an action which led Bucket to say ‘just gimme a minute’ before diving into the water.
It was a shame, honestly. This harmless problem causing had actually been kind of fun, in a way.
Bucket splashed up soon after. “I knew it!”
“Knew what?”
“There was this bald guy talking to all the VALKYRIE guys about all our awesome pranks, and then that no-good bastard Ugo showed up and they started slugging it out and moving towards a sewer grate. And then, you wouldn’t believe it… The bald guy turned into Conqueror Worm!”
That gave Alexis pause, then. He was here? “We… We should probably go somewhere else, then! If people out there are fighting, I want no part in it whatsoever… And you probably shouldn’t anger guys like that either.”
“I can’t just turn away from this, Alexis! I’m here to cheer you up, and that guy… When he helped kidnap you, that’s when you started to feel even worse! So, I’m going to roll up there, give him my fiercest look possible, and make him apologize for being mean to you.”
That… Wasn’t where Alexis was expecting Bucket to end that sentence, but it made her sigh, momentarily. Her mood was good and ruined now anyway by these revelations, and Bucket was suggesting something dangerous nonetheless. “Look, Bucket, not everybody is good-natured, okay? You can’t just walk up to somebody and-”
“But I will!” Bucket insisted, flexing. “Because I have the power of ‘the boogie’ on my side, don’t you get it? This will cheer you so far up! You don’t even need to come along if you don’t want, because I dunno I might punch Ugo a bit if he hits first! But either way, you will get your apology, I swear it!”
Then, Bucket ran off. To confront two very dangerous brick shithouses of men. In a sewer.
“He’s going to get himself killed…” Alexis felt awful now, standing and looking Southward. She could just leave, couldn’t she? Bucket even said he wasn’t expecting her to follow when it could turn into a fight… In the end, were humans not all fated to fall victim to their own mistakes, their own vices and eccentricities?
…I can’t just leave a friend like that, even if I’m feeling bad.
“Bucket!” Alexis called, beginning to run after him. “Wait up for me! I’m coming along too! Let’s… Get that apology!”
She was having to babysit the guy who came to help her out, now, was that it?
“Ghhgh, it’s a two-for-one special on the worst in the city, isn’t it?” Glitch complained, trailing Effie down a ladder into the sewers. “First we’re tailing Ugo, and then Mr. Jones, and now they’re fighting… I don’t even know who’s worse!”
“One’s a serial killer, and yeah super dangerous,” Effie pointed out, “and the other keeps getting a lot of other people killed with his own dangerous stupidity… Keeps causing us problems, and helped escalate that warzone. I don’t like being an enemy of ANVIL, Glitch… I really don’t.”
“Mmrhh… They’re gonna get a piece of our best attacks.”
The pair, then, touched ground, and Effie saw around them the signs of battle, of pieces of the ground seemingly terraformed, nicked, busted-up, and the sounds of clashing in the distance. Undoubtedly them.
Then, though, as they stepped forward, soon after, a pair literally dropped down behind them, one after the other, first a scarred, pompadoured idiot doing a cool roll, then a redheaded gymnast landing coolly not far behind.
“Wait a minute… Bucket? And, uh, that performer from that thing everyone liked… Alexis Williams?” Effie remarked, backing away a bit, trying to figure out the pair’s intentions. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, you know!” Alexis tilted her head, very blatant in how forced the chipper tone had become, especially by the nature of what she’d said next. “Losing control of my life, letting weird things get out of hand… But I’m here now. I’ve committed to my choice, and I hear sounds further back. So, Bucket! Let’s get a move-on, yeah? I don’t particularly care much for being in a sewer…”
Bucket, however, had been unmoving since he had begun to stand. Glitch, too, faced directly his way, allowing him to look her in the eye as a strange expression came over them both.
Effie and Alexis, then, were deeply confused, until Vida Loca appeared, and the sounds of beatboxing seemed to fill the air.
“Wh-” Effie was taken aback. “Glitch, we’ve got something going on here. You’re not seriously going to-”
“Hey fishman, the cat’s here to catch ya / Tiger ‘Glitch’ Ricky on the mic comin’ atcha / In a hotel or a diner or even a sewer / My rhymes gonna run you through like a skewer!”
This was physically painful for Alexis to watch. She covered her mouth as she prepared for Bucket to open his, well aware that half of their social circle was probably going to slap him for whatever came out.
“Name’s Bucket, B-U-C-K-E-T / Got beat but came back now with the Boogie! / Was chasin’ a killer but this fish can still school you / With my friend Alexis here, my rhymes’ll hit true!”
“…hit true?” Alexis couldn’t help but find that groan-inducingly hilarious, though her momentary joy, then, was cut short by the fact that Effie, meanwhile, was absolutely seething.
“C’mon, do this literally any other time!” She exasperatedly proclaimed, tugging at Glitch’s arm, “we can’t let those assholes get away, c’mon, you know we need to cut this out and-”
Bucket threw a fish at Effie’s face.
Everyone went silent, then, as it slid off and hit the ground, her own expression dry with displeasure.
“Did… Did you just throw a fish at me?”
“Yeah! Because you keep ruining the vibes!” Bucket huffed. “So cut it the hell out, or I will do it again!”
“Really now,” Effie said, keeping her hand by her slingshot and beginning to walk further Southward. “If you keep distracting us, I’ll have to get you out of our way.”
One of Bucket’s massive knives, then, was drawn, blade resting centimeters from Effie’s face. “Don’t threaten me, alright? That’s completely against the spirit of this.”
Glitch hissed, then, her own mood ruined, “hey! You can’t just pull a weapon on my friend like that, even if she’s being a spoilsport! That’s way over-the-line!”
As both sides fell back, not losing sight of the other as they attempted to pull away and regroup, it was clear that three-fourths of the quartet had been angered enough at one another in an instant that a fight was about to brew.
Alexis had been deliberately trying not to send out her Stand this entire time, wanting some semblance of mental distance from it after their disagreements had turned increasingly mean, her literal fighting with herself and grappling with her demons leaving her wanting absolutely none of this.
Bucket was about to get himself killed over, easily, the stupidest thing she had ever seen a fight start over.
This day has gone from sad to fun to the most frustrating I have ever seen… I tried to make a good day out of it, but here I am now. I can’t just abandon Bucket after he tried for me… But boy is he trying me.
OPEN THE GAME!
(Credit to CaptainSpooky27 for yet more awesome match art!)
Location: One of Los Fortuna’s sewer pathways, specifically far on the Northwestern outskirts of the town of Aurelio. These are one of the many entrances to the elaborate and interconnected underground networks of the city, though you’re in a pretty straightforward section of it that doesn’t branch off all that many surprising ways.
Not far South from here, but distant enough that it won’t ever affect this match, you can hear the sounds of a simultaneous battle between Mr. Jones and Ugo McBaise.
The area here is 63 meters by 33 meters with each tile being 3 by 3 meters. With TGS on the left and JHR on the right, represented by their character tokens.
The light grey tiles are the concrete paths, the darker grey tiles are the walls, and the blue tiles are sewer water. The walls are solid all the way through.
The sewer itself is actually relatively clean here, as clean as underground sewer water can be really. The water level is about 1 foot below the walkways and the water is 3 meters deep.
The ceiling is 4 meters above the walkways and the walkways have cheap metal guardrails between themselves and the water, as represented by the bolded outlines. The orange rectangles are the metal bridges between the walkways and the yellow circles are open manhole covers with light streaming through. The grey triangles are strange stalagmite-like protrusions, likely somehow created by Ugo and Jones’ fight. They match the same material as the stone walls, take up most of the walkway in width, and reach up to the ceiling.
Goal: RETIRE your opponents!
Additional Information: Logic is allowed to kill me(Kak) and both of the players who made me write this.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
Judecca Highrollers	Bucket	"Are you mocking me? You went into the ground with your zipper? Are you copying me?" This whole thing has gotten so absolutely lame, that it’s killed your attempts to cheer your friend up and to have an awesome rap battle. So these guys are lame, and need to feel it! Make sure to find creative ways for your strategy to humiliate your opponents!
Judecca Highrollers	Alexis Williams	“You think that you can escape my punches when you're surrounded by walls of dirt?” Bucket’s gotten people into another frustrating situation by not thinking, huh? Well, you’ll get him out of this in one piece by using your head. Use this underground sewer environment to your advantage!
The Graveyard Shift	Effie Linder	“They say that sound reverberates better in liquids than in solids.” Seriously, Glitch? Seriously? Well, at least as long as you’re in this gnarly sewer, you can get something out of it by using your head. Use this underground sewer environment to your advantage!
The Graveyard Shift	Tiger “Glitch” Ricky	"Do you think you stand a chance against me by going underground?!" So now you and your opponents are going to be trying to one-up each other, huh? Bucket is an immensely clownable guy, dammit, and you were so hyped to do so verbally… Make sure to find creative ways for your strategy to humiliate your opponents!

Link to the Official Player Spreadsheet
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I accidentally found this out while scoping out. It has no use other than having a duffel bag on your smuggler outfit during the scope out.
Requirements: An outfit with a duffel bag
Steps: 1. Have an outfit with a duffel bag on (I used the casino prep duffel bag glitch)

1. Start Cayo Perico scope out
   
2. Your character should now have a duffel bag on the smuggler outfit.
   

Notes: This does not cause the smuggler outfit to save, This does not change the guards in any way
I reckon there's some experimenting you can do with this, maybe a duffel bag outfit to outfit glitch? I dunno. I'll hop on soon enough and experiment with this

Move your sub to paleto forest to block the velum from spawning at precopio or paleto cove. It should spawn at zancudo or grapeseed. Start new session if it doesn't.
Get caught by guards to teleport back to the plane after scoping out the primary. Don't bother with secondary unless you're planning for elite challenge.
Use motorcycle club so you can instaspawn the opp mk 2 also.
Use a guided missile to blow up the valkyrie if you get merryweather for the guns. It's about 20 feet south of the yellow dot.
Stone hatchet is easy and fun way to clear the ceo office.
Hard hat is worthless for the torch mission as most guards are camping while staring at the toolbox locations.
There's about 4 waves of cars when you're trying to pick up the plasma cutter.
Park your Sparrow or mk 2 near the casino garage as that's where you exit out for the safe code.
Longfin is a very fast setup if you spawn your phantom wedge. You can just kill yourself to lose the cops. MOC kind of works but you have to store your sub and you can't deliver with it.
If you can't do the door glitch for gold in the compound, you can hit the table in the airstrip hangar and two tables near the main dock when you leave. That should be enough possible spots to fill your loot bag every time.

This glitch or bug happens when switching characters or creating a second character or deleting an already created character...can cause your arcade to be wiped clean and will force you to restart the hiest as if you haven't played it before...you lose all hiest progression and any purchased hiest accessories such as the practice vault or hacking divice even if you have spent the money on them...starting up a new hiest and scoping out the casino will return your arcade but you will still lose all hiest progression... including any extra henchmen that you have gotten such as packie..
How to "fix" the arcade bug*
Edit: steps to fix after being shocked and vomiting like I was/did

1. head down to your hiest board 2.you will see cutscenes drive to casino snap photos and send them to Lester 3.leave area after returning to your arcade all gaming machines should return...

IMPORTANT INFO: I'm getting reports of players losing vehicles in the garage in the arcade after this reset .... Some have told me they have gotten there vehicles back after the scope some have told me otherwise..
I have lost pakie and haven't been able to get him...he so far has not spawned for me he may be permanently bugged and I may not be able to get him..players are reporting this loss to me aswell...
You lose hiest related clothing unlocks aswell..
After this glitch you can still take part in the hiest but you will be starting from scratch...

So it’s been a few days since the update dropped so I think it’s been a good enough to let the update’s content sit and allow us to play around with everything.
To address the elephant in the room, let’s talk about the island: it is very, very, VERY underwhelming. I already made a post explaining the problems with the island, so I’ll just keep it brief: it’s all run down industrial drug manufacturing and no resort town area thingy for the tourists at the party. It’s quite unrealistic thinking about the people there and where they’re going to stay. If they wanted to make the infrastructure of the island undeveloped, then make it be like Cuba, where it’s all old timey buildings with classic cars on the unpaved roads. It’s all off-road areas, which TBH are pretty cool if you wanted some off-road/rally cars to try out BUT OH WAIT YOU CAN’T BECAUSE THE ISLAND ISN’T ACCESSIBLE IN FREEMODE. I don’t know what Rockstar was thinking when they said “an entirely new location.” When you say it like that, of course people are gonna expect it to be in freeroam so they can have fun with their friends and hang out in their cars and whatnot, and no having tiny portion of the island where you can just do what you do in your nightclub and the Music Locker, and that is to just dance and drink and entertain yourself for 5 minutes. If you try to leave the island, the guards stop you and your character automatically walks back toward the party. You can’t even sneak or swim around the guards you are just stuck at the party until you decide to go back to Los Santos. From what some people say, it’s because of the limited hardware, and that the entire island is free to explore in freeroam on the XSX/S and PS5, but very few of us have those consoles, and those who do say that claim is false. It’s just either the game is old or that Rockstar just wanted to be dicks to us, and if they did know we were expecting a map expansion, then I’d like to believe the. They really did do us dirty like that.
The very first prep/scout might be the worst mission in the entire game. All you do is take pictures of stuff you need for the heist, which is fine, except the stuff spawns in random locations and if you wanna fully complete the prep missions and get your crew completely equipped you have to find 4 of the stuff, like the bolt cutters and grapples. I like the idea of posing as a DJ’s entourage then sneaking out scope out the island. It’s cool, except for the fact the mission is goddamn awful. It’s a mandatory stealth mission, which doesn’t sound that bad, then you remember stealth in GTA is just so, so bad. “So what if it’s a stealth mission, just quietly take out everyone in your way.” That’s the problem: you can’t eliminate anyone in this prep mission, not even punch or judo chop or whatever on the guards. As soon as you get too close to any of the guards, you are spotted and instead of dying and respawning, you’re dragged back to the party (or airport, if you’re doing the prep after the first play through) and have to sneak your way back all over again. It gets pretty frustrating after awhile. To make it worse, if you’re spotted too much, you are thrown off of the island and wash up on the shores of Vespucci Beach, which doesn’t make sense geographically, since Cayo Perico is confirmed to be in the Caribbean and LS is next to the Pacific Ocean. After getting thrown off the island, you have to go back to the Kosatka, restart the prep, and do the mission all over again.
The other prep missions are somewhat of a step up from the Casino Heist preps. For one, there aren’t any missions where you have go back twice for any of the equipment; it’s a one and done deal. The missions utilize different interiors from previous updates, like the CEO office, Import/Export garage, etc. and I find that somewhat cool. The missions themselves aren’t that hard, so they should be able to be breezed through.
The heist itself was in many ways a step up from the Casino Heist, in a way. All the different kinds of approaches, entries, methods, setups, etc. made the heist very unique with different levels of replay ability. As annoying as the guards on the island are, it’s good that they spawn randomly, as to encourage more challenge and thought as to how to approach the heist, unlike the Casino where they all have fixed locations, and after a few play through you figure out the formula and breeze through it like no problem. The guards are still ridiculously hard to all kill, even with all the prep missions to weaken them done. They still have aimbot, not surprised there. There’s a juggernaut in El Rubio’s mansion, but it’s not that bad, since there’s only one that spawns, and you can just use explosives. It is a heist that encourages stealth, and is very unforgiving to those who fuck it up. The enemies are fairly weak if you do the preps, but they just swarm you everywhere, especially in El Rubio’s mansion where they flank you at all corners, and if you’re not careful, you can go through all your snacks and armors quickly.
The amount of content released day one is very underwhelming, and the drip feed line up lowkey sucks. Half of the cars showed off in the trailers and promos were actually released on launch but the rest are to be released weekly over the next few months. I get it, Rockstar wanted to artificially extend the lifespan of this update, but did they really have to make us wait weeks for vehicles we can drive around during the heist? If they wanted to drip feed some vehicles from the heist itself, make it like the Manchez scout or that ATV cause no one cares about those vehicles, well, at least I don’t. Leaving out less vehicles from the heist to be released as drip feed would leave room for some more original cars to be added or different versions of cars that need updating, like the ARENA ZR380 PLEASE JUST GIVE US A CLEAN JDM VERION OF THAT CAR. The line up of original non heist cars is actually quite solid, still fitting the theme of the update. Cayo Perico gives off some Cuban vibes, minus the whole communism thing, so it would make sense some of the cars added would be classic cars from the 50s-60s, like the Fiat 500 (Brioso 300), BF Weevil (finally, they added a better version of the Injection), and Slamtruck (if that thing doesn’t allow us to put cars on it I’m gonna get very mad).
The new clothes and outfits are nothing amazing, but there was a change I appreciate so much, and that is we can finally put body armor on other tops like hoodies, service shirts, other utility tops. Finally will I no longer have to use the merge glitch. The new armored vests tho kinda suck, since they’re just designer and don’t exactly fit anything. The new button down tropical shirts do look cool, I just wish we could unbutton them to give more of a casual tourist vibe. I just appreciate we have more ability than variety.
The weapons were ok. The military rifle looks way too similar to the bullpip and advanced rifle, so it’s nothing really special. The Perico Pistol was a cool unlock for a random event that has a somewhat painful chance to get by finding a body in LS and searching it for a key, but the gun itself is just a golden marksman pistol, needing to be reloaded after every shot. I have yet to find the combat shotgun in the heist, but I imagine it’s just a cooler looking version of the pump shotgun.
The music in this update was very meh. Didn’t like the songs on Kult FM too much, maybe because I’m not into rock that much and kinda used to listening to pop songs and some Broadway musicals here and there. Couldn’t really judge Still Slippin since I need to be in a specific area of the map to listen to it, I haven’t been around Mirror Park in awhile, so I just went back to putting the music on mute and turning on blast LMP on Spotify (Owl House fans you know what I mean). It doesn’t really help that Rockstar is drip feeding radios and music too, since Still Slippin won’t be broadcasted to the entire map until a few more weeks. Maybe when it’s finally released for the entire map then I’ll take a listen. That one Moodymann song they played for the trailer goes hard and I’m sure his other works go hard too; too bad no one goes to the Music Locker, which is literally a stripped down version of our nightclubs under the casino. Come to think of it, music and nightclubs are a major part of this update, making me think Rockstar just wanted to do an After Hours Pt. 2.
Overall, the Cayo Perico was had the potential to be one of the best updates the game has ever seen: a map expansion for us to explore, but we were given a heist with ruthless AI and mediocre to subpar content to make up for it. As it stands, it might be one of my least favorite updates, not living up to the community’s expectations whilst being quite content dry.

After 80 hours of playing on PS5, I got my platinum trophy.
Cyberpunk 2077 is really good, albeit pretty buggy, throughout my playthrough on PS5, my game crashed probably 50+ times but I wasn't too mad as I manually saved frequently and any progress blocking bugs were fixed after a quick load of a checkpoint.
I played as a Male Street Kid V and I didn't mind his VO, there were times where he came off as kind of a try-hard tough guy but It honestly felt charmingly dorky because of the moments where V is just being himself and isn't being that dorky try-hard; And while the life-paths ultimately didn't impact anything major, I enjoyed the flavor dialog you get when the life-path exclusive options pop up, some even opened up different way of completing certain quests, which I thought was pretty neat.
The gameplay felt good to me after some tinkering around with the sensitivity options, I mainly just used power weapons and only really used Skippy as a Smart weapon and I really liked how punchy the sound of guns were; melee was fine for an fps game, though I didn't like how magnetized some of the enemies attacks were, so regardless if you dodged, you still risked a hit; parrying felt weird, I feel like it only worked half the time and when it did, it was when I was nowhere near for a good hit; kinda wish there was some kind of grappling to mix things up between light and heavy attacks.
Looting, I felt had issues, I always grabbed something that was way far off to the side of the thing I was actually trying to grab, it was even worse when it was a gun under a body where you had to find a sweet spot to grab it.
I rarely dabbled in crafting if only to get Comrade's Hammer and Overwatch to Legendary but there are things I hope they add in the future, mainly batch crafting for things like ammo and grenades rather than holding square for 10 minutes just to have a decent amount, also a counter to see how much of that item you already have would definitely be helpful for things like ammo crafting.
I REALLY wished this game had more to offer in terms of customization, there was no customization options for vehicles, for guns you only really get scopes and muzzles for things that appear on certain weapons along with mods which are purely for stats, there's so many decent options for outfits but you tend to be forced into having clothes that look bad but have better stats and mod slots and not something that's cool to you, hopefully transmog gets added along with barber shops and plastic surgeons. Also, a little nitpick of mine, but the lack of cloth physics on coats for V was kinda sad, its definitely possible as River and Takemura's coats have physics applied to them, maybe its just a PS4 version issue and it'll be something they might add with the next-gen version but I honestly doubt it.
Cars handled fine for me and I really liked the look and feel of some of the cars, even the more luxurious cars that I tend to avoid in most open world games. In the beginning, the driving felt like a more manageable, better handling version of GTA IV but as I got better with it, it clicked to me, its JUST Saint Row 2's driving which I really liked because I feel like SR2 has the best driving controls in any open world game.
Night City and the Badlands were really masterfully created, each area had their own style that really appealed to me and I look forward to how much better they can look in the next-gen version; I can't say I have any areas that I would consider my favorite as I really enjoyed the map as a whole but there was nothing that really grabbed me like the West End in Vampyr for example.
The story was REALLY FUCKING GOOD! All of the characters felt real and really fit with the character of V, I really liked how much V grows throughout the story from being a cocky street kid to someone who cares about the people close to him but is scared of his situation.
Johnny starts as an obnoxious asshole but you can definitely tell that V changes him to be a better person (at least in my game), and you start to sympathize with his actions and reasonings and he becomes a really likeable and funny character in most of the side missions; And his ending where he takes over V is just sad, loses the guy he was trying to save and Rouge, I interpreted that ending as Johnny getting a second chance at life he didn't want and while he probably doesn't want to ruin this second chance, he's more than likely mentally checked out and is just waiting for his time to come. Keanu did a really good job with Johnny and I honestly can't think of anyone who would have done a better job.
I really like Judy, she such a bittersweet character, she loses Evelyn, who she definitely had feelings for, tries to help the workers at Clouds but gets screwed over by someone with ulterior motives and as an end result decides to leave NC, looking for her happiness, and judging from her texts and ending message, she does. (except the Suicide ending, loses the girl she had feeling for and one of her closest friends both to suicide, even though I romanced Panam, Judy's message hit the hardest and was incredibly sad)
Panam, in my opinion, on top of being a great character in general, has the best romanceable storyline in a video game, with Jack from ME2 being a close 2nd; the whole relationship dynamic between Panam and V felt natural and made you feel invested in the character, from two people reluctantly paired together by Rouge due to similar objectives and keeping things strictly professional even when V awkwardly flirts with her, and you start to get closer and become friends when you help her with Aldecaldo problems, but then "With a little help from my friends" happens, the "follow your impulses" comment that V makes that Panam follows through with later on was an interesting way of V giving her hints on his feelings, the biggest moment that completely sells the relationship, happens during the campfire; early in the mission, V can talk about Jackie to which Panam will say "I'll remember that" AND BOY DOES SHE REMEMBER THAT, during the campfire, you can toast to Scorpion, an Aldecaldo who died earlier in the questline, everyone, including V toast to Scorpion... except Panam who says "to Jackie", that moment sold me on Panam as a love interest, she cares about V so much that she toasted to a guy she never met just off of the basis that V told her how close he and Jackie were and that he missed him, everything before that was nice but that was just the cherry on top, after that everything is just heart warming and cute as they both completely go all in on their relationship, and the Nomad ending reinforces this but I'll touch on that later.
River was really cool, I dug his character and questline (which is insanely fucked up, but really cool), I laughed when his sister was flirting with V and Rivers like "Nope, bro-code", he's also got a SICK coat.
I didn't like Kerry at first, he seemed like a complete douche, gets you to hijack and burn an band equipment van because someone was covering his song, then drags us into helping him intimidate Us Cracks who where just trying to pay homage and respect to him, after the moment where he understood and accepted that, he became a much better character; trashing the yacht was a pretty fun moment too.
Vik was basically the Uncle character, he cares about V but isn't afraid to hit him with reality, I immediately payed my tab as he deserved it IMO, the fact he also gives V a tip during the final Beat the Brat fight was cool given his history in boxing.
Misty is an absolute sweet heart, you bond with her over Jackie's death and you can tell how important she meant to him and vice-versa, getting her to bond with Mama Wells was neat too, her telling you stories about Jackie while your trying to find something for his memorial was really cool.
Takamura was cool, I dug the moments you can tell V's attitude rubbed off on him, even though you can tell that he's 100% Arasaka, I felt that he would accept you as a friend even if you have different opinions on Arasaka than him (he doesn't, tells you to burn in hell). That parade mission was really cool and the selfie he sends you, 10/10.
I wish we had more time with Jackie, he seemed like a really cool character and experiencing those moments of growth between Jackie and V and meeting Misty and Mama Wells would have been great and really would have made that moment with Panam feel even better had we had more time with Jackie in the beginning as the bond between Jackie and V would have meant more when he does unfortunately die.
The endings vary from absolutely depressing all the way to heartwarming and hopeful.
The suicide ending fucking sucks in the best way, V believing that killing himself is the best way of keeping those he cares about safe and ending his situation with Johnny, but the messages speak otherwise; Misty telling Vik to send a message as a way of coping, Mama Wells praying for you as she probably felt like she just lost two sons in V and Jackie, Judy... fucking hell man, couldn't imagine what was going through her head during that message, Panam's rage at realizing that the man she loved killed himself even though she offered to help him with his situation, River understanding as his previous partner suffered the same fate but also knows its incredibly sad that there's one less good person in NC, Kerry being pissed that V felt that suicide was the right choice as he probably understood as Kerry was in a similar situation and was disappointed V didn't know better and Misty being mournful.
I already touched on the Johnny ending, but I honestly feel bad for Johnny because he didn't ask for a second chance and now he has to live with V and Rogue's deaths on his conscience, on top of probably burning any and all bridges with V's friends and loved ones.
The Arasaka ending is some borderline horror shit, being trapped in space with a corp who's researching your condition with probable ulterior motives, having nightmares because of the repetitive testing, calling your friends who tell you they miss you and to come back home (though, Panam was pissed when I called her) and in the end you have two choices, sell your soul and become an engram for an unknown amount time to Arasaka who probably wont give a shit about you after that or go back to earth and wait out the remaining time you have left.
Become a legend of Night City but ultimately feel you have nothing to lose as you'll die soon anyway and take an offer from Mr. Blue Eyes (Who's incredibly sketchy) to rob a space casino for info he wants.
Nomad Ending is the best ending IMO, not only because I romanced Panam which made the ending even better (and I know that if Female V romances Judy, she joins the Aldecaldo's as well and is also a really good, feel good ending) but also because it left more opportunity for a DLC Expansion than the other endings as well as a satisfying ending to V's story as a whole; the night before the raid was really nice, testing out the new systems on the basilisk with Mitch and the bottle challenge with Cassidy were cool but that's all I could do as the rest of the activities during this were glitched, cuddling with Panam on the overlook was nice, her getting some stress off her chest and V reassuring Panam that he cares about her and will be there for her no matter what was really sweet; the raid was cool, I was hoping Mitch didn't die when he went back to pilot the basilisk solo and I'm glad he didn't die as I grew to like him as basically a Nomad Vik, Saul dying kinda sucked as he seemed to be cooling down his ego and wanting to work things out with Panam for the betterment of the Aldecaldos but Adam stomping his head in was funny, at least Rouge got to blow him up before she dies in Johnny's ending; the moment at the Dam between V and Panam was nice, V saying that he's glad he met Panam and the Aldecaldos and that he has nothing left in Night City, and the moment with them on top of the basilisk was cute; the messages were nice during this ending, though I was kinda disappointed Judy has the same message for all of the non-suicide endings, Misty's Tarot reading message is incredibly important as to why I think Nomad is the best ending, there's already a bunch of threads that touch on that but it definitely says a lot when its the only ending that gives V a shred of a chance that he might cure his disease and survive.
Overall, I really enjoyed my time with Cyberpunk 2077, I'd probably place it as my second game of the year (with Tony Hawk's Pro-Skater 1+2 being my personal GOTY) due to bugs but I know In due time that the game will be something really great by the end of its life span and i hope that if a Cyberpunk 2 does happen, it'll be even better than Cyberpunk 2077; I haven't been able to get this game out of my head since I started playing it and I cannot wait to do this all over again when the PS5 version and all the DLC's come out.

I’ve done the heist lots of times, and today I went to scope out the contents of the vault, and when I killed the guard to get the credentials, the indicators on the map disappeared. I couldn’t search the guard nor go to the casino, and lester wouldn’t say anything. I tried going back to the arcade but it would not let me in, as if I was still in the mission. I tried changing sessions and even restarting my game, but then it got worse and lester wouldn’t even give the initial instructions on the prep and I would just stay there in front of the arcade waiting, without even being able to go back inside. Is there a way to fix this glitch?

** I Should specify that I am a ps4 player
NOTE: I honestly didn’t think that many people would see this ... but holy moly ... thank you guys so much for being interested! I think I may just have to write one up for duping cars ei? Let me know in the comments what you would like to know next!
I really hope this helps everybody here. I made this guide for my best friend since he’s new to GTA V Online and I wanted to share it with you guys. Here are all the glitches I know and how the most preferred methods. But for real ... WARNING - money will be too easy to make :)
DCH REPLAY + GOLD
VAULT CONTENT MANIPULATION https://youtu.be/xuaSFy9u_eg
** The most basic way ** NOTE : IF after 6-7 times you keep on going back and forth between cash and art, just do art.
Steps; 1. Pay 25k to start Diamond Casino Heist 2. Scope out vault content 3. Once you see the vault content, if its not gold, call Lester the Area around the casino. I personally on my way to the exit. 4. When you call lester, cancel Casino Heist. 5. When you leave casino it will say completed scoping vault content. 6. Go back to arcade. 7. Pay 25k to start D.C.H 8. Vault content should be different
** Another method is when you looking at the CCTV and your in the vault, peak enough to see the content but not enough for the game to register it. If you dont get what you want, FIND NEW SESSION/SUSPEND APP/CLOSE APP.
FREE OPTIONAL SET UPS https://youtu.be/Df7zL098kPY
Requirements; - Enough money to purchase all optional set ups.
Steps; 1. Purchase all optional set ups 2. Start Duggen Shipments (or any mission that you cannot purchase - any of the mandatory set ups basically or duggen shipments) 3. Once you spawn outside and load up, the mission text will appear of the screen. 4. Close the app or disconnect from internet. 5. Set ups will remain purchased, but you will be have been refunded all the money.
HOW TO DO THE REPLAY GLITCH
** There are 3 methods, my personal favorite is #3
1)NO SAVE REPLAY METHOD

1. Set Up Heist
2. Suspend Application (open YT, Spotify) - Alert to Story Mode
3. Join friend’s session
4. Change outfit until the yellow saving circle doesn’t appear. Change a few times to be safe.
5. Start the heist - finish it normally.
6. Heist complete - go to story mode. Once the save icon is gone for the other players, go to invite Only Session. Go to arcade.

2)CLOSE APP METHOD https://youtu.be/fUmtL6Nqmzc

1. Prepare your Quick Menu -> Close Application -> Make sure there’s only GTA to close
2. Better if someone else is driving to the buyer
3. When you are near the buyer - open the Quick Menu and hover close application
4. Keep an eye on the bottom right screen where it shows the TAKE
5. As soon as the TAKE disappears, spam X and close application.

3)DISCONNECT INTERNET METHOD

1. Prepare PS4 button double tap
   1. Settings - Network - hover over the “connect to the internet box”
2. Better if someone else is driving to the buyer
3. Keep an eye on the bottom right screen where it shows the TAKE
4. As soon as the TAKE disappears, double tap ps4 and disconnect from internet for 3 seconds.

GOLD GLITCH https://youtu.be/4v0nJEAyP_A

1. Go to a tray 2. Pick up 1 bar of gold (X) 3. Leave the tray (O) 4. THAT TRAY IS NOW DUPED, MOVE ONTO THE NEXT ONE 5. MAKE SURE THAT YOU DO NOT EXCEED 150K WHEN DUPING TRAYS OR IT WILL FREEZE 6. Once all Trays are duped and everyone is ready to grab, grab 

** Pro tip - you can grab up to 145k while you wait for you teammate to get back onto the tray.

This is the Working Glitches Thread! This is always being improved, and if you have any recommendations please let me know in the comments or send me a direct message. If you know a glitch is working on any other platform I haven't included or doesn't work anymore, also let us know. If a platform is in italics, it means it is unsure. Strikethrough means it is patched, and no longer works.
———————————————————————
Money & RP Glitches:

Facility Heist Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	3 Card Poker Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Slight RP Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Gold Glitch 2.0 - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	SP To MP - Expensive - PS4 - Solo	Money Making Guide - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo
Facility Duplication Glitch - PC - Solo	AFK Money Job - PS4 - Non-Solo	Guide To Duping - All Platforms
Re-supplying MC/Bunker Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Replay Heist Glitch - All Platforms - Non-Solo	$500,000 Per Hour Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
(Not) A Great Money Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Casino Replay Glitch - PS4 - Non-Solo	Freeze Time Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Daily Vault Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Replay + Gold 2.0 Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	DMO Glitch + Frozen Money - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Double Money When Robbing Stores - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Casino Gold Glitch 2.0 - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Change Casino Vault Target Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Duffel Bag Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	3 In 1 - RP and Money Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Bogdan Easier Way - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo
DMO Glitch (Freeze Money and Get Modded Cars) (SaveWizard) - PS4 - Solo	GCTF Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	Sp To Mp (No SaveWizard) - PS4 - Solo
Repeat Time Trial Glitch - PC - Solo	Scuba Dupe Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Gold Glitch 2.0 Improved - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo
Chips To Money Glitch - PS4 - Non-Solo	Apartment Money Glitch - PS4 - Solo	Office Car Dupe Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo
Freeze Chips Glitch - PS4 - Solo	Sp To Mp - Xbox - Non-Solo	GCTF With Frozen Money - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo
Dupe Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	Apartment Money Glitch - PC - Solo	Frozen Money + RP Glitch - PS4 - Solo
Car Dupe Glitch - Xbox - Solo	Apartment Glitch - Xbox - Solo	Apartment Money Glitch - Xbox - Solo
Same Vault Contents As Last Heist - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Solo Dupe Glitch - PS4 - Solo	Faclity Dupe Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Casino Heist Replay - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	Chip Glitch - Xbox - Non-Solo	Frozen Money + RP Glitch - PS4 - Solo
Apartment Money Glitch - PS4 - Solo	Bypass Money Wipe - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Bypass Chracter Reset - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Floating RP Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Apartment Money Glitch Improved - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Dupe Glitch - PS4 - Solo
Stop The Bunker Sale Countdown - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Stromberg Duplication Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Time Trial Money Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
AFK Survival Job Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo

​
Player Based Glitches:

Clothing Transfer Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Director Mode Glitch - PS4 - Solo	TP Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
TP During VIP Work Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Invisible Shoulders Glitch - PS4, Xbox. PC - Solo	Duffel Bag Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Any Outfit From Doomsday Heist Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	Illuminated Flashing T-Shirt Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Semi-Solo	No Wanted Level Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Coloured Duffel Bag Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Paramedic + Noose Outfit Glitch - PS4 - Non-Solo	Godmode Helicopter Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Topless Character Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Free Appearance Change - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Car Merge Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Invisible Arms Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	No Wanted Level Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Godmode Van Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
T-Shirt Over Bodysuit Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Special Cars To Friends Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	RP Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Make It Rain Action Without Losing Money - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Up'n Atomizer In Any Car Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Outfits And Duffel Bag Guide - PS4, Xbox, PC
Thermal Vision In Any Vehicle Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Stab City Survival Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Stand Up While Driving - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Alien Outfit Without The Mask - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Duffel Bag Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Floating Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Topless Character Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Radio On Foot Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Semi-Solo	Yellow Rebreather Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo
Inside Of FIB Building Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Low Poly Graphics Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Off The Radar Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Save SecuroServ Outfits Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	Strip Club Godmode Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Off The Radar Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo
GCTF Workaround - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	Free Appearance Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Outfit Glitches - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo
Launch Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Weapons In Casino Heist Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Any Color Helmet Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Get Inside Celebration Garage Interior - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Frozen Action Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Get Inside Of Franklin's House In GTAO - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
DM Outfits Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Powerful Sawed Off Shotgun Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Cant Fall Off Bike Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo

​
Miscellaneous:

Out Of Map Glitch - All platforms. - Solo	LS Water to Gruppe Sechs Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Hydra Speed Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Inside The FIB Building Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Car to RC Bandito Merge Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	KERS On The PR4 Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo
Hydra Speed Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Same Approach Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Car To Car Merge Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Wall Breach Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Tank Launch Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Arcade Dupe Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Wallbreach Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Opp MK II Unlimited Smoke Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	TP To Aircraft - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Tuning From RC to Car Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Trailer Dupe Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Name Any Vehicle Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
RC To Car Merge Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Matte With Pearlescent Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Aircraft Godmode Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
RC To Car Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Skip Heist Setups Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Corrupted Save Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Guns In Casino - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Weapons During Casino Heist - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Own Guns During Motor Wars - PS4. Xbox, PC - Solo
Fun Launch Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Teleport Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	RC To Car Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Casino Heist Free Optional Preps Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Unlimited Orbital Cannon Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	Dead Body BMX Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo Very Useful :)
Guide To Becoming A Dupe God - Yes. I have no clue what consoles I should put here.	Out of Map Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Matte Pearlescent Glitch For Planes - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Revolver Spam Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Atomizer In Turreted Vehicle Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Atomizer In Jobs Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Thermal Vision Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Solo Cargo Sale - PC, PS4, Xbox - Solo	3 Person Merge Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo
Get Noose Outfit As Exit Disguise - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Vigilante Teleportation Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Free Casino Extras - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Store Terrorbyte In Any Garage - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	5 Glitches That Aren't Patched - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Car To Car Merge Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo
Give Cars To Friends Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	Solo Public Session With AHK - PC - Solo	God Mode Jet Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
All Vault Layout Plan - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo

​
———————————————————————
Some Helpful Tips About This Subreddit:
• Please read the rules before you post.
• Please stay civilised, and do not be rude towards others.
• Please do not comment stupid things such as “I didn’t use this glitch”. Seriously, what’s the point?
• Please do NOT post gamer tags anywhere on this subreddit. If you need to tell someone, just PM the person.
• If you see anyone breaking rules, make sure to report the post so we can get on it ASAP!
• If you’re desperate to ask a question, just ask on the weekly questions thread.
• We also have a chat which is quite helpful, and you can ask questions there and get a response.
• There is a very helpful scammer list for B2B Bogdan by YoGamer1044, make sure to check it out here before hosting one for someone.
———————————————————————
Have a Question about a Glitch?:
Ask the poster of the glitch inside the post, rather than this main page. People there created it, found it, or at the very least have been using it recently, and are far more likely to give you the correct answer.
———————————————————————
Have a Glitch That Isn't Linked Here?:
Make/Link a post and send me a PM and I will put the post here. (We appreciate your contribution!)
———————————————————————
| Need any help? Message the mod team. |

This is the Working Glitches Thread! This is always being improved, and if you have any recommendations please let me know in the comments or send me a direct message. If you know a glitch is working on any other platform I haven't included or doesn't work anymore, also let us know. If a platform is in italics, it means it is unsure. Strikethrough means it is patched, and no longer works.
———————————————————————
Money & RP Glitches:

Facility Heist Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	3 Card Poker Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Slight RP Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Gold Glitch 2.0 - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	SP To MP - Expensive - PS4 - Solo	Money Making Guide - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo
Facility Duplication Glitch - PC - Solo	AFK Money Job - PS4 - Non-Solo	Guide To Duping - All Platforms
Re-supplying MC/Bunker Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Replay Heist Glitch - All Platforms - Non-Solo	$500,000 Per Hour Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
(Not) A Great Money Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Casino Replay Glitch - PS4 - Non-Solo	Freeze Time Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Daily Vault Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Replay + Gold 2.0 Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Double Money When Robbing Stores - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Casino Gold Glitch 2.0 - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Change Casino Vault Target Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Duffel Bag Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo
3 In 1 - RP and Money Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Bogdan Easier Way - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Repeat Time Trial Glitch - PC - Solo
Gold Glitch 2.0 Improved - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Apartment Money Glitch - PS4 - Solo	Office Car Dupe Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo
GCTF With Frozen Money - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	Apartment Money Glitch - PC - Solo	Apartment Money Glitch - Xbox - Solo
Same Vault Contents As Last Heist - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Solo Dupe Glitch - PS4 - Solo	Floating RP Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Apartment Money Glitch Improved - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Stop The Bunker Sale Countdown - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Time Trial Money Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
AFK Survival Job Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Gold Glitch 2.0 - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo

​
Player Based Glitches:

Clothing Transfer Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	TP Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	TP During VIP Work Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Invisible Shoulders Glitch - PS4, Xbox. PC - Solo	Duffel Bag Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Any Outfit From Doomsday Heist Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo
Illuminated Flashing T-Shirt Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Semi-Solo	No Wanted Level Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Coloured Duffel Bag Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Paramedic + Noose Outfit Glitch - PS4 - Non-Solo	Godmode Helicopter Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Topless Character Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Free Appearance Change - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Invisible Arms Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	T-Shirt Over Bodysuit Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Special Cars To Friends Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	RP Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Make It Rain Action Without Losing Money - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Up'n Atomizer In Any Car Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Outfits And Duffel Bag Guide - PS4, Xbox, PC	Thermal Vision In Any Vehicle Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Stab City Survival Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Stand Up While Driving - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Alien Outfit Without The Mask - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Duffel Bag Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Floating Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Topless Character Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Radio On Foot Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Semi-Solo	Yellow Rebreather Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Inside Of FIB Building Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Low Poly Graphics Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Off The Radar Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Save SecuroServ Outfits Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo
Off The Radar Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	GCTF Workaround - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	Free Appearance Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Outfit Glitches - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo	Launch Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Weapons In Casino Heist Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Any Color Helmet Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Get Inside Celebration Garage Interior - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Frozen Action Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Get Inside Of Franklin's House In GTAO - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	DM Outfits Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Powerful Sawed Off Shotgun Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Cant Fall Off Bike Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Yellow Rebreather Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	"IKEA" Duffel Bag Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo

​
Miscellaneous:

Out Of Map Glitch - All platforms. - Solo	LS Water to Gruppe Sechs Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Inside The FIB Building Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
KERS On The PR4 Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Hydra Speed Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Same Approach Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Wall Breach Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Tank Launch Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Arcade Dupe Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Wallbreach Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Opp MK II Unlimited Smoke Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	TP To Aircraft - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Tuning From RC to Car Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Trailer Dupe Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Name Any Vehicle Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
RC To Car Merge Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Matte With Pearlescent Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	RC To Car Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo
Skip Heist Setups Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Corrupted Save Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Guns In Casino - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Weapons During Casino Heist - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Own Guns During Motor Wars - PS4. Xbox, PC - Solo	Fun Launch Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo
Teleport Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Casino Heist Free Optional Preps Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Dead Body BMX Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo Very Useful :)
Guide To Becoming A Dupe God	Out of Map Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Matte Pearlescent Glitch For Planes - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Revolver Spam Glitch - PS4, Xbox - Solo	Atomizer In Turreted Vehicle Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Atomizer In Jobs Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo
Thermal Vision Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Solo Cargo Sale - PC, PS4, Xbox - Solo	3 Person Merge Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo
Get Noose Outfit As Exit Disguise - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Vigilante Teleportation Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo	Store Terrorbyte In Any Garage - PS4, Xbox - Non-Solo
Solo Public Session With AHK - PC - Solo	All Vault Layout Plan - PS4, Xbox, PC - Non-Solo	Friendly Headhunter Glitch - PS4, Xbox, PC - Solo

​
———————————————————————
Some Helpful Tips About This Subreddit:
• Please read the rules before you post.
• Please stay civilised, and do not be rude towards others.
• Please do not comment stupid things such as “I didn’t use this glitch”. Seriously, what’s the point?
• Please do NOT post gamer tags anywhere on this subreddit. If you need to tell someone, just PM the person.
• If you see anyone breaking rules, make sure to report the post so we can get on it ASAP!
• If you’re desperate to ask a question, just ask on the weekly questions thread.
• We also have a chat which is quite helpful, and you can ask questions there and get a response.
• There is a very helpful scammer list for B2B Bogdan by YoGamer1044, make sure to check it out here before hosting one for someone.
———————————————————————
Have a Question about a Glitch?:
Ask the poster of the glitch inside the post, rather than this main page. People there created it, found it, or at the very least have been using it recently, and are far more likely to give you the correct answer.
———————————————————————
Have a Glitch That Isn't Linked Here?:
Make/Link a post and send me a PM and I will put the post here. (We appreciate your contribution!)
———————————————————————
| Need any help? Message the mod team. |